@Blonde_Bunny totally agree with @steve19, your review is more a story, and a good one at that. Your lost talent using a hairdryer and comb. You have to start writing stories, preferably adult ones 
Never thought little red riding could cause such a reaction for a married man lol.
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Your reviews are always amazing and a hilarious read. I know were always our own harshest critics, but they really are creative pieces of writing in their own rights. Always make me laugh. The space dildo one is definetly one of my all time faves (so many dirty astronomy metaphors 
)
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Maybe I just like Fairy Tales?! 
I thought it was great but I think all your reviews are. In terms of making purchases quite a few of us, myself included I hope, write informative reviews to help people interested in a product make an informed decision with relevant information. Yours however, certainly in me at any rate(!), sometimes inspire purchases in stuff people wouldnāt necessarily be looking at. Donāt get me wrong, Iām not buying the Monster however much youāre Lycan it as it would be wasted with me being used only as a mantle piece ornament or a coffee table talking piece .
Having said that never give up hair, a really talented stylist is a very rare thing and I strongly suspect that is you. The joy your clients feel leaving having had a real pamper and feeling good about themselves would never be a wasteā¦ we just enjoy the writing done on the side!
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I love your reviews @Blonde_Bunny, they never fail to make me smile (and sometimes wince haha).
Iām lucky to have a hairdresser that I think is like you, a natural magician at making hair look amazing and making your clients feel incredible and pampered 
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@Male53, @steve19, @Diggerman_Baz, @Green_Eyed_Girl, @Peitho and @MsSubExperimenter, you guys are going to make me cry 
.
You have no idea how warming it is to know people like and enjoy - and also find informative - something youāve created all by yourself. Itās a hell of a lot of fun writing them too, it involves a lot of playing with these toys, probably a lot more than I need to, to make sure I clearly express how theyāve made me feel both inside and out.
Donāt worry folks, I donāt think Iāll ever, ever, give up the scissors and peroxides, Iām sure many people arenāt as fortunate as me that the job they do is truly the best thing in their lives. I love what I do, the smiles I can make, and the friendships and fun that comes with it all. 
Perhaps I will start writing some more of my short erotic stories again for fun and post links to Literotica if Iām allowed. 
Oh, youāll buy it @Peitho, you just donāt know it yet, but youāll buy it. Youāll be Lycan it as much as I do 
Coffee spitting is the goal @MsSubExperimenter
Ha thanks @Green_Eyed_Girl, that really was one of the most fun to write, the universal puns were infinite 
I love that you loved it
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I think I better read all of @Blonde_Bunny reviews, they sound amazing @Green_Eyed_Girl .
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There are quite a few in the My reviews thead. They are very diverting and definitely make for a good read. The galaxy dildo is definetly my fave, but the poetry one is Very close second
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Aww Iām elated to make you feel happy @Blonde_Bunny be proud of your beauty inside and out as it shines through. Youāre so funny as well n uno the first review you wrote a poem I canāt believe that aināt got the 50 likes as itās immense, Iām astounded itās not got many likes or won something because you could publish, itās that good n I mean that whole heartedly 
Iām gonna find the link for it in a minute n hopefully more people will see your great work and show it some well deserved love 
Out of interest how long does it take you and anybody else to compose them? Iām wondering as I write reviews but as itās obvious to see my grammar and expression isnāt good, but Iām still very lucky working with a decent amount of companies 
my point being they still take me ages to form!
Editing to say, everybodyās reviews here are so good here, they most definitely have a lot to answer for with everybodyās bank statements 
They are much better than some of the companies i write for, thanks all for the hard work yous put in with the reviews
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I donāt know how to add specific posts onto ours but this review about the womaniser premium smart silence is immense and definitely deserves way more love if anybodyās up for it 
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Awww thank you @Alyssa646 Yes, that was one of my first ever reviews. That one I did actually win a prize for, it was when Lovehoney had the Review Of The Month Competition and I won a Ā£100 voucher to spend on the website 
Here is the link to it that you were looking for
Each review probably takes me about 1-2 hours in total but I write little bits at a time. I add some parts and take some bits away after each time Iāve used the item. This is often over about 3 days although a few of my reviews Iāve written straight after Iāve received the toy, tried it, loved it, and just written the review. Iāve never changed my mind on how a toy has made me feel yet, although sometimes I receive or buy new toys that I find are actually better and I have quite a mountainous stash of neglected devices and dicks under my bed - none of them that I will ever get rid of. I love them all dearly
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Love it 
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[quote=āBlonde_Bunny, post:4403, topic:261163ā] and I have quite a mountainous stash of neglected devices and dicks under my bed - none of them that I will ever get rid of. I love them all dearly
[/quote]
Yeh. We got one of them too!
I call it āsex toy purgatoryā. My wife calls it āthe archiveā
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I call it The Snake Pit
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Oooh how awesome winning the review cash for one of your first ever Lovehoney reviewsā
itās definitely well deserved Iāve gotta say
Thatās not bad at all considering how much attention to details in them. Thatās something I need to do, take more breaks as it can become less enjoyable n stressful when you get stuck on something so Iām noting that on my reviews file. Thanks @Blonde_Bunny
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Hey 
good to be here again xx
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What I do is I open a new āNoteā on my iPhone before the item has arrived. I wonāt give it a title yet - title always comes last for me - but Iāll put a list of what I want to cover, boxing, first impression, smell, taste perhaps (I pretty much put everything I own in my mouth at some point), what did it feel like when I smothered it and around my faceā¦ and so on.
Then when the toy arrives, Iāll just write out really quickly off the top of my head a few bits like āthe dick looked sexy as fuckā, and ādefinitely a delight putting this dildo down my throatā or āunfortunately it smelled like one of those cheap inflatable plastic crocodiles youād buy from Woolacombe Bay.
Pull out your trusty tape measure, be firm but be fair, actually see if youāve been sold a lie like most of the dick-pics youāve ever receivedā¦
For once in life, size does matter.
Then the fun starts. Play time. Again and again and again andā¦. Yeah you get the picture. Be versatile with the item, be a boarderline weirdo sometimes, stick that dick to the patio door and see if you can pull it off, see how it makes you feel using it right there even, see how the neighbours feel that theyāve caught you using it and now not only can you not look them in the eye, you canāt look at yourself in the mirror anymore - but damn that dick was worth it
Use the toy again.
Just add bits to the review, change bits, read it and read it again and by doing it in this way I think you can pretty much cover absolutely every single detail, as accurately as possible and I donāt think anyone can ever write a bad review if they just write how they feel - thatās all we care about right.
Honestly it takes no time at all to write a review this way, a few seconds here and there. Sometimes Iāll be at work colouring somebodyās hair, Iāll be just day dreaming about that dick from last night and be like āoooo gosh, that was one fine filling phallus, Iāll pop that in my review.ā Iāll quickly tell my client I need to nip to my store room and Iāll add that thought to my review notes and edit it later. Easy.
But just remember, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a short and simple review. I know I talk for England and my reviews end up more of a blog style, 6 volume novel collection, but a short and simple, straight to the point, factual and informative review can be a lot more effective Iām sure and I would think most people prefer reading those types.
Just be you, write how the item physically feels but also write how it makes you feel.
Just be yourself, never copy a review or try to imitate it - this isnāt the coursework you didnāt complete in time at school so you need to borrow your best friendās and change 3 words. I read hundreds of reviews each week and there is often a few āsimilaritiesā popping up now and then. Youād actually be surprised how many times Iāve seen the odd phrase or complete section from one of my own reviews reappear on a slightly different toy - sometimes the same toy
Hope this helps you - or anyone else - but I am in no way some review god, my style is likely way too long for most people and there are hundreds better than me. Thousands.
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Shit a brick @Blonde_Bunny you got me pissin myself the tears are streaming I think I need to give some sex toys reviews, lots more fun than my cosmetic collections thatās taken over the house, itās got to the stage Iām going to do giveaways as even after donating shit loads to family n friends I could easily start a business, bet youāre the same with dicks
So many swear words Iāve erased but seriously your advise is wicked, witty, hilarious n damn good 
Iāll be trawling the salons next time Iām in t that area looking for a long blonde hair hairdresser just so I can giggle when they have to pop to the store room for dildo note purposes obviously Iām joking incase Iām taken seriously by anyone
I bet your business is booming, obviously Iāve no idea how talented you are although I think youāre a perfectionist but Iād not give a shit if I left butchered as Iām more than sure youāre a right laugh 
Youāre right a short review can be great providing I get all the important information, not - "it was awesome, my wife got dressed u in the lingerie I provided I rammed it home n she kept on cumming "! Some are like that, itās giving zero information. Another point you touched on, tell us the truth if itās shit we wanna know n why cos Xs shit is somebodyās glory.
Ashamed but Iāve gotten slack, I used the always have bullet points but Iāve not for a couple of years maybe 
definitely going to go onto my iPhone as soon as Iāve finished this open a new note n list points as itās easy to forget important points without checking off the list.
Yeah Iāve seen this too and you know theyāre copying as the way the reviews wrote, shouldnāt be allowed because how can we rely on a copies ratings?
Definitely reckon I should practice my skills on my sex toys though, obviously for educational purposes only 
Thanks for taking the time to say all the tips n that, theyāre very useful
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Yeahā¦ with the amount of silicone snakes underneath my bed, my drawers, in my wardrobe and pretty much all around me, my bedroom could be mistaken for a reptile sanctuary at times. I actually once tripped and fell over a dick in the dark. Donāt worry, I didnāt land on it, such a shame.
I really should consider donating some of my collection to my local charity shop or perhaps take my team to the local car boot sale Iām joking, I love every one of them. A dildos not for Christmas, itās for life.
I honestly read a review once and all it said was āIt was amazing and I came.ā To be honest though I wonāt judge, this is usually the only thought buzzing around my brain like a trapped fly the second after Iāve cum It covered the two basic - but vital - bits of information I needed to know. I then bought the item.
Anyway, I hope you and everyone else has fun writing out some reviews and hope Iāve helped just a teeny tiny bit. I know Lovehoney and @Lovehoney_Brenna will be grateful for any and every honest review you write - that anyone writes.
What a terrible task it would be to dig out some of your toys for some extensive testing for product feedback purposesā¦ how boring. 
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Only just 
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