We are quite lucky in that our support bubble includes the in-laws and my mom. So i will see my mom Xmas day before she has my siblings and nephew round for dinner. We will be having the in-laws round for dinner. Boxing Day it will just be me and my OH chilling out in peace rather than visiting other family, which will be nice after the pre-Christmas week at work!
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We are now in tier 4 so our rules have totally changed we were here support bubble but now she has a grandchild living with her the rules regarding the support bubble go out the window.The real problem is she just does not get it she just honestly will think it is just us being mean.
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Some people donât get it I totally get what you are saying, been through the same kind of thing with my parents, I was trying to look out for them but instead they got nasty towards me. To long a story to go into it. @Onlyones
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Desperately tries to grow some hairâŚ
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Can your daughter not visit you at your new place, socially distancing of course? Other than that maybe contact Relate or Citizenâs Advice? Your daughter is of an age where she should be able to make her own decisions as to wether to see you, no matter how your ex feels towards you.
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You seem quite adamant that youâre entitled to go round to your exâs. Iâd say that itâs more usual not to be dropping in unless you have quite young children, or unless youâve decided to try and stay friends (neither in this case). I donât think forcing the issue is going to help anybody.
Try and keep your daughter as your focus. Do you know what you want to say to her? Or how you expect the conversation to go? As sheâs an adult now thereâs not much you can do to tell her what to do (and youâll probably find that will have the opposite effect anyway 
), so what kind of advice will you have for her? Is there any support you can offer?
This may seem very random but does anyone else end up giggling currently when you go on the forum and immediately see right at the top NIPPLES?
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You can unpin them from the top when youâve finished reading them. Just tap the little drawing pin next to the topic title and that toggles between Pinned/Unpinned (or you can use the box at the bottom of the topic). 
But who doesnât want nipple giggles?
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@Ian_Chimp Not adamant at all, but when your child no matter what age is very ill then parents should put things aside, I put things aside as soon as we split, I donât hold any grudges. You are quite right but each circumstances each family is different. My daughter isnât eating and Iâm the one who could probably get her eating again as I did before.
There is lots I can do to get her to eat there is so many things I can say to her, but she wouldnât listen or take it in if it was out of her comfort place.
My ex has already said she canât do it just like before she left it all to me.
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Maybe if you eased off and didnât act like you had a right to go round maybe your daughterâs mother would be more open to the idea?
Until then Iâm afraid you have to deal with the situation as it is, not as you think it should be. Hopefully youâll create an opportunity to have a chat with your daughter soon.
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@Ian_Chimp What are you going on about, you have completely lost me or not understanding the situation at all. I havenât said at all I should be going round there, itâs nearly been two years since we split. before Covid things were great with my daughter I would see her take her out.
But my daughter is ill and her mother canât get her to eat, she is asking for my help and the only way for me to help is to sit down and talk to her. Most parents would say come in just to get our daughter healthy. Unless you have had children who wont it you wouldnât really understand what you have to do to get them through it. You would do anything in my daughters eyes she hated me at that time because I was making her eat, but now we joke about it.
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Well explaining to the Mother in Law about the rule changes and how she cannot come to us for Christmas went much better than expected and she actually seemed to understand the reasons .Sadly the same cannot be said for the grandchild who does not understand why they have to change the plans they had made as they do not know anyone who has died from covid.This person is mid 20s and never before struck me as being an idiot.It is enough to make you despair.
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The thing is although they do not know anyone who has actually died they do know someone who spent a couple of weeks in hospital with it and is still not fully recovered and has been told to expect to feel unwell potentially for months to come.
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