I recently decided to treat myself to a new fleshlight (and I cant wait for it to arrive! ) there is only one small problem, I live in a building which has been converted into flats and the post for everyone in the building is put on a small table just inside the front door(where everyone can see it). now ive ordered from LH before so i know that their packaging is very discreet but my friend who lives across the hall from me is very nosey and if she sees that i have received a fairly large package shes going to start asking questions as to what’s inside and I would really rather not tell her what it is! so ive been trying to come up with an idea of what I can tell her what it is if she starts asking questions but im having a hard time coming up with something, so ive decided to ask you lovely people for help any ideas would be greatly appreciated
Well, for a start, the box is pretty darned big. So much so that i'd really struggle using one hand to carry it around.
What you could just do is, you can just tell her straight out to stop being nosey. If she keeps asking you, you could say you got something like a bunch of books or something and make sure you have some books with you she doesn't know you have if she's so prying on what you've got. Of course, it might seem a little weird that some books were put into a rather big box, but for all she knows, you're just as confused with it and don't know why it was done. Just a thought, and I hope I've been somewhat of a help.
By the way, the Fleshlight is amazing despite me having sensitivity problems with my penis. I think you'll love it.
My standard answer for when my folks ask what's in a parcel (which has dropped to nil over the last half a year because I order so much crap online) is books. If it's not heavy then I make something up that I already have but that they wouldn't know about.
For the nosey neighbour, i'd just say "Oh, just something I ordered online." in an "eh, it's boring" voice. Then ask a diversion question and, goodbye, nice speaking to you.
Computer parts is a plausible one, and it explains the repeated deliveries ( you will be ordering more from Lh, I guarantee it!)
Tell her you collect action figures. It helps to have a handful on display, of course.
Or, what about telling her it's some heavy duty bondage gear, it's something you've just got into and you'd just love to show it to her, let her touch it maybe, or even try it out ... hello? Where are you going? Come back!....
I guess just saying "sex toys - any more questions, Nosy Parker?" with a raised eyebrow would be a little too obvious...or is it a double bluff? Just tell her to butt out and mind her own business.
I agree with telling her to stop being so nosey. Either that, or just tell her, (with a few details), and then see if she ever askes you about your post again.
Computer parts is awesome. If it's becoming too regular to be all in the one machine, you could claim you're E-baying parts. I actually had one of the ladies in the PO comment on how many parcels I'd get at one stage - she wasn't being nosey, just making conversation - and I told her I'd buy things off E-bay and either fix them or just sell them on at a higher price. That wasn't a lie, either! The number of refurbished or just price-jacked parts I've sent off in recycled LH boxes is kind of hilarious. Especially if you're buying from some random pleb like me, you're pretty likely to get a re-used box, so even if they recognise it as LH, the E-bay excuse means that's still not incriminating.
that or look her dead in the eye and say "porn, lots of porn" and walk off. She'll either assume you're joking, or be too embarassed to ask again. Or ask to join in, in which case, WA-HAY! :)
Tell her its none of her business and she shouldn't be so nosey!
If you dont want to come across as rude, just say its clothes from an online site as they sometimes come in boxes, like someone else said books is a really good idea, you could say its anything, she will never no =]
) there is only one small problem, I live in a building which has been converted into flats and the post for everyone in the building is put on a small table just inside the front door(where everyone can see it). now ive ordered from LH before so i know that their packaging is very discreet but my friend who lives across the hall from me is very nosey and if she sees that i have received a fairly large package shes going to start asking questions as to what’s inside and I would really rather not tell her what it is! so ive been trying to come up with an idea of what I can tell her what it is if she starts asking questions but im having a hard time coming up with something, so ive decided to ask you lovely people for help any ideas would be greatly appreciated 