One of my partners recently transitioned from Female to Male. I adore him and we’re solid. The big change for them is dealing with their masculine energy. To support them I have taken them shopping, brought two custom suits and shown them how to adjust for their still tiny frame. I want them to know I see them for who they are.
They want to Top and explore having sex as a Man in everyway. Last night we had a discussion about would I allow them to Top them. Not from a play perspective but they want to know if how they felt pegging a man would be different now that they identify and totally exist as Male.
The question was would I allow them to strap on and do this? It’s a peculiar ask and I’m considering, but…any thoughts?
So an update on this and would love some feedback. While I am a Switch I do not Switch with my Partner. My other two partners are not into BDSM and typically do not engage. However next weekend we have a group date that will involve me bottoming for all three.
I’m anxious and conflicted about this. Since there will be spanking and pegging involved. It is going to be an agreeed consensual-non-consent evening. They will control everything and I am to be fully into a more submissive role.
The two nonm BDSM partners while they do not partcipate they have attended several of my classes and on occassion gone to events with me. They have both pegged me and they have both spanked me in preperation for pegging. So there is a comfort factor already established.
My BDSM partner ahs nmever Topped me and only recently pegged me once. They shared with me last night why they have set this up. My BDSM Partner is moving out of the country because as Trans Male he no longer feels safe. But with this move he wants to walk on the Kink side a s a Dominant. So to get into his new head space they believed this would be a good start. I’m not so sure it isn’t going to be hard to find that space but I love him and I know how important this is for him. He has taken classes regarding Topping mindset and I have put him intouch with friends of mine to speak one 2 one but I still have him in my headspace as my Submissive.
So I asked if they would be alright if I invited a Dom friend of mine to particpate. The idea is that my Partner can see someone other than me take a bottom through the paces. To do this would be I would have to put aside my feelings about being Topped by a Man. Not an easy thing to wrap my head around but I feel it’s important.
I know this is long winded but I view what I’m doing is being in service to my Partner but wondering if my Top side will fight or relax.
And as a side note. Yes I am very much looking forward to being spanked and pegged because they are all my heart and they are all gorgious and handsome and I know if I can just go with the flow it will be a good time…but damn…there is a little struggle going on.
“The question was would I allow them to strap on and do this?”
There isn’t a right or wrong answer to this overall but there is a right answer for you.
You just need to be true to yourself.
None of us should do things we don’t want to do or be coerced into doing and I know that isn’t the case here, I’m just talking generally.
If you are comfortable with this and want to try it, then by all means do so.
Sorry to go off on a tangent but it might be applicable for you regarding this.
With partners I’ve had in the past, including my current wife, we break things down into 3 large buckets.
Hard no’s.
Things that are a definite yes.
A bucket of maybe, we could, might do.
Now, over the years we change as people so things can move from one bucket to another. My larger point is we all have likes, wants, preferences etc.
There are some things that were done with some partners with me but not with others due to who they were, what they liked. There are things I would have loved to do but she didn’t want to and vice versa.
Things that aren’t a hard no for me I will do even if they aren’t my favorite and I don’t want to do them that often. If my partner really likes them and they aren’t a hard no for me, we still do them, same with her to me.
@HermanHuge Appreciate the perspective. As in all things hard and soft limits are always a consideration. You work around and discuss what those are and how they would be affected by pusing them.
We have a had a group discussion about this to make sure there is not just mild consent from all of us but committed consent because it involves all of our hard and soft lmits not just mine as the bottom.
I’m just working through my defenses so that on the day I’m still seeing the whole date positivley without reservation.
