The urge to be spanked

I moved to London recently from the States and am happily in a relationship with a local guy. I come from a strict family, raised to be obedient to my parents orders. A wrong step equals getting paddled or spanked, so I'm trying to understand how people enjoy pain as my partner has asked me to spank him a few times - and I am still hesitant as it sounds abusive.

Where does the urge come from?Is it from past childhood experience?

The difference between SM and abuse is consent. If both partners agree to what is being done, it isnโ€™t abusive.

People who enjoy spanking do so for a whole host of reasons. It could be because of the taboo/naughtiness of it, the power exchange, the sensation, it could fulfill a specific fantasy or something else entirely .

The urge for this can be for different reasons. I love to spank my OH particularly when we are in the doggy style position. The sensations i'm told are amazing.

I love being spanked my partner does this when we are in doggy position or I'm on top the sensations drive me wild x

Just have to be careful how hard the spanking is done (unless you're really into pain).

Hearing your other half take a breath when she is spanked is actually quite a turn on for guys who are into this.

I gasp when my partner spanks me not because it hurts he'd never do it too hard but because half the time he surprises me when doing it so I don't expect it lol

I guess thats why my OH loves it, because she never knows when or even if i'm going to do it.

Like everything else i suppose, if its done all the time it gets a bit "same old thing again" and theres no fun in that.

Variety and spontaneity is the way to have a good sex life.

I totally agree with that

I think most people do Rachlou88, so why do quite a lot of relationships breakdown for the exact opposite reason.

"Boredom", "sex was always the same", "he always did it the same way", she would only ever have vanilla sex" yet surely we all know that to keep it going, you have to spice it up a bit (sometimes even taking yourself out of your comfort zone".

Remember what you loved when you first got together? It was new and exciting. Just keep imitating that.

Spanking, bondage, toys, whatever floats your boat people!

I split from a 9 year relationship earlier this year and the sex was always the same vanilla boring but I split with him because I didn't love him anymore and when I met my new fella we talked about introducing toys etc as we'd both never done it but wanted to and now my bedside drawer is full of things lol and the sex is never the same sometimes we get really loving other times it's like "I've got to have you now" xx

I think it's the anticipation for a lot of people, not knowing what's or exactly when it's coming and then of course the sensation. It's Simone ok at to jump scares in movies I guess and theme park rides, not for everyone but many enjoy the adrenaline rush. That's the appeal to me anyway, plus the submission, I don't have to make the decisions or think once.

The lovey dovey stuff is great but the raw "get em off, NOW" passion is fantastic.

It sure is we seem to have alot of them moments not sure if its just a faze with it being a new relationship lol

I really hope it continues for you (i've been with my OH for 20 years and i'll try anything once) well, almost anything lol.

Haha I hope. It does too I'm getting to old now for the dating game ๐Ÿ˜‚ x

Lol, the dating game. Spending nights on dates with people that never mind spanking them you would love to just put them in a taxi and shout "see ya!'

I'm so glad i dont have to go through the torture now but on the other side of the coin, we have to be careful because things can go wrong through no fault of our own.

To be honest, some of the dates were interesting, but tell me it isnt me but arent there some strange folk out there!

I'm glad I'm out of the dating game I was literally only single a few weeks before I met my fella sounds bad I know, but I didn't live my ex for years n he wouldn't touch me in the last 2 years of the relationship never mind spank me ๐Ÿ˜‚ x

Doesnt sound bad at all. There isnt a time limit on you finding happiness and if you feel your OH was the right one then you did right.

Ok, not everyone will agree with that but they arent living your life, you are, so you enjoy it as much as possible because you have done nothing wrong.

Good luck to the both of ya.

Thank you

alisa_k wrote:

I moved to London recently from the States and am happily in a relationship with a local guy. I come from a strict family, raised to be obedient to my parents orders. A wrong step equals getting paddled or spanked, so I'm trying to understand how people enjoy pain as my partner has asked me to spank him a few times - and I am still hesitant as it sounds abusive.

Where does the urge come from?Is it from past childhood experience?

I donโ€™t think it is related to childhood, my mum used to whack me with a slipper when I was naughty (which was often, by all accounts). My husband spanks me, hard, but not too hard. It is JUST on the right side of pleasure for me, and therefore is a million miles away from crying when punished as a child.