I've read several threads on bondage games, but I haven't found one with quite the slant that I'm looking for.
My wife has always seemed very reluctant to be tied up in the bedroom, but with the recent emergence of her "bad girl" persona underneath her prim exterior, she's been dropping hints that she might be (cautiously) prepared to give it another go. We may have an opportunity tomorrow.
I need to be subtle! If I just suddenly seek to tie my wife to the bed (even with the promise of warm-ups with massage oil etc.) then her "good girl" objections will immediately call a halt to it. Instead, I need to engage the curiosity and interest of her naughty side, probably by running some ideas past her this evening and letting these run in her head. Hopefully, one or two of them will stick and she'll allow herself to play along and enjoy them.
My question is, what sorts of ideas with a light bondage theme might get my wife going without scaring her off? I was wondering about naughty games or some sort of roleplay (to enable her to be a different person). I think my wife might also like the idea of dressing in a provocative way that's completely unlike her normal self. It's worth me presenting a variety of ideas, because my wife's initial reaction when I suggest something new is often guarded and ambiguous, but if she's given time to think about it then she may reveal that she likes it.
So... I'm open to any ideas! Thanks for any suggestions.
My hubby tied me up, blindfolded me and fed me different food (strawberries, melon,chocolate etc) and different drinks... and then other things.
The food was interesting as some of it needed me to concentrate on subtle flavours as it's surprising how much your eyesight is involved. Gently rub soft fruit along her lips and down her front, when she's comfortable you could gently lick the juices off her.
Tell her it's a taste experiment, so light bonadage, both partially dressed or in sexy nightwear so she'll feel less exposed and helpless.
Touch is something else you could experiment with, again blindfolded, drape, run or lay sensual materials across parts of her body.
My hubby tied me up, blindfolded me and fed me different food (strawberries, melon,chocolate etc) and different drinks... and then other things.
The food was interesting as some of it needed me to concentrate on subtle flavours as it's surprising how much your eyesight is involved. Gently rub soft fruit along her lips and down her front, when she's comfortable you could gently lick the juices off her.
Tell her it's a taste experiment, so light bonadage, both partially dressed or in sexy nightwear so she'll feel less exposed and helpless.
Touch is something else you could experiment with, again blindfolded, drape, run or lay sensual materials across parts of her body.
good idea but for someone who is having issues a blindfold might be a bit too much? sometimes when blindfolds are involved the most innocent things like a partner moving around can become scary.
maybe just get her to close her eyes at times or discuss if she'd be comfortable before using a blindfold
What about using neckties as an alternative to handcuffs or 'proper' restraints? When my OH and I first started tinkering around with bondage, we tied his old work ties together, and they worked really well. The fabric felt sturdy but was still reassuringly soft. My OH also worked a kind of massage into tying me up, so he'd trace patterns over my skin with the end of the necktie before utilising it on my wrists. It got me used to the idea of being restrained, but in a very gentle way. It also gave me plenty of relaxing time in which I could have called a halt to the play without feeling I was disrupting a fantasy.
Costumes can be very empowering, but I think that's something you'd need to discuss with her because, obviously, everyone's different with what they feel comfortable in. I started out with skimpy but pretty nightwear, because I didn't like the sensation of being completely exposed to start with.
I did have something else to write but my brain's just fallen out of my ear and dashed off to chase a rainbow... It'll come back to me later. Maybe.
Just to say that I'm liking all of these suggestions. I'm even thinking of putting them onto some cards so that my wife can look at the options and discard the ones that she doesn't like, all without any pressure or the need for her to say anything.
Please feel free to add any more ideas. I have plenty of cards!
Some advice if your wife has been reluctant in the past to be tied up ect.
Firstly discuss a safe word, the traffic light system always works well. Green for happy to continue, amber, stop to discuss and chat about it if she wants to, what she isn't sure about ect and red for everything to stop.
What about getting some nice thick ribbon from a haberdashery and using that instead of proper restraints. Try just the one hand being tied to begin with so she doesn't feel to restricted and if later on she is happy to have both hands tied then fab!
Sensory play is fantastic. I suggest a feather tickler, what a wonderful feeling, especially if blindfolded. That combined with gentle kisses and nibbles feels wonderful.
Ice cubes are great but I suggest you put a towl down first as it can get a bit wet as they melt. Gently rub the ice cubes over her body and then blow gently on the aresa the ice cubes have been. What a lovely feeling!.
Soft things like a piece of silk feel amazing trailed over the skin too.
A massage candle is great too. Warm wax (not hot at all) feels great on the skin and a nice wee massage will get you plenty of brownie points!
A must for afterwards. I think even if it is gentle sensory play then lots of loving cuddles afterwards are a must.
Just a few ideas, hope you find some of them useful! And most of all I hope you both have fun! x
Ok so I've recently ( about a month ago) introduced light bondage to my sex life. Both my OH and I were willing and so picked out the things we both liked the look of and wanted (reviews have been written).
I would suggest if you didnt want to go for restraints (the ones ive reviewed are fab) then the blindfold i reviewed would be long enough to use as ties and also means you can use for their intended use when she gets more comfortable.
As for massages and warm oils etc Elemis do a Frangapani body oil that can be used all over the body and is very luxurious. Using a product like this means ur wife gets all the wonderful benefits of the oil wihtout getting sticky and messy.
When my partner and I had our first experience i was tied up and blindfolded. Champage was the drink of choice as he passed it from his mouth to mine. And then went all out on soft sensual touching. He teased me for hours and I loved every second of it.
If your wife is slightly uncomfortable with parts of her body then make sure you take this into consideration, as being tied up leaves you in such a vulnerable position. Its all about her comfort and making her feel sexy even though she is at your mercy
This is the second time this week I've suggested this on a thread but .... have an alcoholic drink. No, I'm not an alco.
Some other ideas;
* Let her tie YOU up as well as it may put her at ease
* Use a safeword
* Roleplay of cops and robbers (a sexy outfit is also called for with this)
* Discuss at length her interests. Sometimes just 'chatting' can awaken her kinky side and get her thoroughly in the mood mentally as well as physically
* Or, try some psychology - aim higher with your wants in that she'll settle for middle of the road (e.g. you actual wants). Bit sneaky - but it might work!?
I'm liking the sound of turning this into a broader romantic experience which my wife can help to construct herself, so that she feels at least in control of the set-up.
I'm going to follow through with my idea and put all of the elements of these various suggestions onto separate cards so that, for example, my wife can choose to discard the "tickle with a feather" one if she wants, but can keep others in. I mention that one in particular because my wife is very ticklish and, even when I promise that I'm only going to massage her, if she has the idea in her head that she might get tickled then every gentle touch that I make seems to have that effect. I know that she hates the idea of being restrained while she's being tickled. Spanking, on the other hand, may be fine -- we've done some of that before!
CH if it helps at all, I am so tickly, I hate being tickled. I don't condone violence at all but after someone has tickled me I have, punched, kicked, caused bruising, kicked the shit out of them for it! But I love a feather tickler, it doesn't tickle as such but it a lovely sensation. It was a thing I thought I would hate but it turns out it is one of my favourite things ;-)
CH if it helps at all, I am so tickly, I hate being tickled. I don't condone violence at all but after someone has tickled me I have, punched, kicked, caused bruising, kicked the shit out of them for it! But I love a feather tickler, it doesn't tickle as such but it a lovely sensation. It was a thing I thought I would hate but it turns out it is one of my favourite things ;-)
That's very helpful, thanks!
You might have spotted that I add a feather tickler to my shopping list (now on order!) in this thread:
You could try restraining her wrists with your hands to start, hiolding both her wrists pinned above her head. I find that's a good way to test the waters.
