I'm back on the dating scene after being away from it for quite a few years. My problem, if you can call it that, is that I'm in my early 50's & so far have attracted guys in their 20's & 30's. Men my age seem to only be after women a lot younger. I'm old school & feel weird even thinking about dating men that much younger than me, whilst they see no problem with it, which is why I've held off so far & not gone out with them.
So I have 2 questions really. Firstly, why are younger guys so interested in us older ladies & secondly, is it really socially acceptable to be seen dating guys that much younger?
Personally i would never date someone younger than me
I think it's ok though as long as the guy in question is at least 18. I had a friend that was 30 and got into an intense relationship with an 18 year old and he couldnt hack it and broke up with her and broke her heart.
In terms of fun and sex then yeah younger guys are cool. But you need to think about how they have different life goals as they are younger.
But that is just from my exp. You need to do what your heart wants you to do
MissBrownEyes that's exactly what I've been thinking. As you say, for just sex it might be fun but I've said to them that it could never be anything else as they have their whole lives ahead of them. So far I've not done anything & kept away! ☺
Hi! I suppose younger men are attracted to experience - the 'cougar' type if you will. Maybe because older women know what they want and at this point aren't afraid to take it. Maybe it's a power thing who knows. If it's sex you are after then I don't see a problem with it but if you want something more lasting perhaps avoid them.
Personally I have mostly avoided younger men (I'm in my mid twenties) because I'm looking for more maturity and stability, things I find younger men lack. But that's just me, we all look for different things.
In terms of a stigma, in this day and age I don't see how it would be a problem. The question is how comfortable are you with it?
At the end of the day it's up to you what you want, if it's enjoying sex with younger men then fab or if you want to find a more lasting connection thats great too, if you happen to find it with a younger man that's wonderful! Go after what you want, we all deserve to be happy :)
Go for it! If it makes you both happy why not? My OH is 17 years older than me, and he could therefor be my father. But we get on great, have been together for 10 years now and very happy.
Personally not for me but who knows what will happen between now (23) and 50! I couldn't see myself in a relationship with that much of an age gap but a bit of fun wouldn't hurt anyone. And as MBE says, if both parties are over 18, nothing legally wrong.
Honestly, I say got for it. If you find someone and you have a connection then that is what counts. Yes it may not last forever, but that could be the case with someone your own age too.
I used to have very clear ideas on the age ranges I'd be open to dating, now I have none.If I like the person then I'm going to give it a go, whether it's for sex, dating or just friendship.
I am 30 and date both men and women, the largest age gap I''ve been involved with is 26 years, that's a guy, and 10 years older than me for a woman. But if I met a woman who was 50 and we clicked then I wouldn't turn her down based on age. I'd definitely give it a whirl.
Even if you try it once or twice and decide actually it's not for you, then there's no harm done. At least you know then what you are looking for.
I'd say yes it is socially acceptable, generally speaking anyway, you will always have a few people that disagree.
I agree with MBE, I think it would be more fun. Although of course there are exceptions, it all very much depends on the individual, their maturity and what they are wanting at that stage of their life, if it were me (although I'm 28) I think I would tread carefully so as not to allow myself get hurt.
Hi id say do what makes you happy as long as they are above the legal age which you've already said 20s/30s as long as you are both comfortable with boundaries you've both set stuff what others think lifes to short to be worried about others thoughts on your own happiness xx
From a guy's perspective it's just a fun thing to tell your mate's. Just be careful and enjoy the fact that you atract younger guy's but try not to get involved. Go with the flow and enjoy. 😋
Personally I don't see anything wrong with it but I do feel that society still has double standards when it come to this. It seems to be ok for a 50 yr old bloke to go out with a much younger woman, people think he's still got the pulling power or he's a bit of a stud etc but if a 50 yr old woman does the same then she has to put up with remarks about having a " toy boy" or being a cradle snatcher! ( hope I'm not offending anyone here but these are the comments that a couple of my friends have had to put up with in these circumstances ).
I'm 51 and married but if I were to suddenly find myself single then I would be happy to go out with a younger man but think that it would probably only be for the sex and nothing long term.
It all depends on how comfortable you are with it. Lots of younger men like the idea of being with someone who has experience and they clearly find you attractive, hence the interest ! I'd say go for it and have some fun and lots of sex , try not to be too concerned with what other people think, it's really none of their business. Good luck x
Thanks for answering guys & gals. I have to say, I'm still not convinced & I certainly wasn't expecting to have younger men interested. As far as getting hurt, I wouldn't let myself get involved emotionally, or at least not show it. They've hinted that they'd want more than just sex & this is the real reason I've held off from doing anything. So I'm left with choosing whether to have some casual sex, which is not what I do normally & run the risk of somebody getting involved or just stay well away & forget about dating for a while! 😊
Honestly this is more of a personal preference. Some people won't do it, others will.
I now have a dating cut off, I don't know why but it's like 3yrs either side of my age. When I was younger I dated older guys, now though I tend to stick with my age group.
I'd say go for it. I once dated a guy over 40 years older than me. The thing about maturity and what not, well lets be honest is just generalizing, there will be younger people out there who are more mature than people who are a million years old, I know my self I used to hang around exlusively with people over 40 when I was 18 ish in college. Not because of their age, not because I didn't like people my own age, but because they could hold good intelligent conversations.
But I also knew a friend online who was in the same boat as me, it's not really about age so much as life experience really. You'll know when you've met someone who's right for you and age shouldn't matter :)
There's ten years to the day between us, why worry what other people think, just be happily oblivious like I am, not noticing what other looks people give me or say.
It depends on what you expect from your relationship; if you share hobbies, have a reasonably similar lifestyle, and relatively similar plans and hopes for the future, an "actual" relationship may be possible, even though there is a large(ish) age gap between the two of you. In the case one of you wants something totally different (e.g. you want to spend each and every evening watching telly while your partner wants to go clubbing, you want to spend weekends pottering about your garden while your partner prefers festivals and biking, or more importantly, you want kids while your partner is totally against the idea), you have two choices - either be seriously (!) good at compromising, or find someone with preferences that are far more similar to yours. I guess this is so even in relationships between partners of similar ages - but the bigger the age gap is, the more likely it (usually - not always, obviously, but I guess you know what I mean) is that you have very different values and wishes (being eager to try as many new things as possible x looking for a bit of stability etc.)
If you don't fancy anything long term and just want a bit of *cough cough* romance, well, I suppose that you do not need to share that many wishes and values - again, this is so regardless of any potential age gap. But seeing this kind of "relationship" is generally less about commitment and/or worries than the "serious" one might be, many people would just "enjoy the adventure" and overlook any differences, including the age gap...