I'm really sorry I have no practical help to give you. I feel for you, and it sounds a very upsetting situation to be in. But I do really think you need to get away from thinking that your penis is the complete problem though. So often on this thread you've referred to it as your 'tiny penis' - surely it'd help your self esteem more that after having acknowledged the problem once, it just became your "penis". It's the part that gives you a lot of pleasure, and I feel like you're belittling yourself and it every time you talk about it. Just because it's below average (and hey, loads of men's are, they just haven't got the bravery to talk about it) doesn't mean you have to systemically abuse yourself! Be proud you have one, I'm envious for a start ;) (Honestly, carrying that around rather than the weights that dare call themselves breasts on my chest? I'm envious.)
Does she like you fingering her? Perhaps that might give her some relief? (Sometimes my OH's fingers feel thicker and longer than his penis, even though I know they aren't, just because of how he uses them.) You could lie close to each other, kissing, with your fingers inside her.. Do you think that might help her with the intimacy she's craving? Perhaps licking your fingers afterwards, with obvious sexual enjoyment, might show her how much you crave to give her oral as well, and might help a little if one of her inhibitions is whether her own taste is bad.
If you're looking to take your sexual life back to the start, how about just some full length massages? Some massage oil, or a massage candle (personally I recommend both, using the oil while you wait for the massage candle to heat up - skin safe hot oil feels fantastic!) and slowly massage down the neck, shoulders, back, bottom, tops of thighs.. One of my sexual triggers is having my bottom massaged. Because it doesn't inplicitly say it's a sexual activity, or demand that your penis is required, perhaps you both would find it more relaxing than something overtly sexual. Also, because you'd be giving her a massage (which is quite a one way thing occasionally, although still very pleasurable for the giver in my experience) she may feel like you're focusing on her pleasure and nothing else, which might cheer her up if relative amounts of orgasms is actually an issue for her.
Maybe buying some nice lingerie for her would also be good? Just a random, one off present that she wasn't expecting. No mention of sex, just see if she decides to wear it. Don't mention it unless she brings it up, but then show obvious glee if she does wear it. Perhaps she'll even surprise you in the bedroom with it? Often a gorgeous new piece of underwear can make me feel pretty horny, and again because you've chosen it for her, it will make her feel really special and loved. Pretty red ribbon, a heart shaped tag with 'I love you' on it? It's a nice way to change a negative atmosphere.
Don't focus on the orgasm. I don't orgasm particularly, but me and my OH have a really successful sex life. We'll have days where we just can't have sex because his stomach is bad, or my joints are or whatever - every couple has issues, but if you can work them out, everything is pretty lovely. I wish you all the luck I can; it sounds like you're a lovely man who is really trying to get things to a better sexual point for the fulfillment of both parties. She's lucky to have you.