Ok so the boyfriend and I are interested in anal sex...what bloke isn't? And I'm certainly game.
Thing is, usually Im glad he's so well endowed...now however... not so much!
So hit me! I need tips, tricks and advice. What are good toys to buy so that I can get match fit before going for it? And what do I need for the actual event? Heard mixed reviews on numbing or not.
Relax warm up lube lube lube a more lube honestly the more the better i personally would say no to numbing cream/gel as your not gonna feel pain an thats not necessary a good thing in this instant. As for toys but plugs are a good place to start
And which lube? Getting mixed reviews on oil/water/silicone based. I'm falling at the first hurdle!
I personally use maxims anal lube
Don't use numbing lubes, creams etc. You need to know what is happening. Relax, take your time and use lube. My man is well endowed and for me it is really important that I am pushing back on him. It makes it easier.
I like to be pegged with the Doc Johnson Hung strapon. I use a little Super Slik lube and its not at all painfull and its 8.5 inch in girth. Work your way up to the required girth with toys.
Another no vote for numbing cream. Pain is the body's way of telling you that you are damaging it, this is one instance when listening to your body is important.
Start small, a clean finger with short well filed nail and lots of lube. Slowly work up in size, this can take a long time and somepeople will never get beyond finger sized insertions. Relax, if it hurts stop take deep breaths until it passes and then decide if you want to carry on or to stop. Don't just yank a toy out if it hurts, if can do damage on the way out as easily as on the way in.
Whichever lube you decide on you need to use lots, the anus is not self lubricating. Once you think you have enough on add some more.
Only use toys which are designed for anal play, look out for the flared bases or handles. Trust me you never want to hear 'oops' as someone lets go of a well lubed toy and it vanishes.
xGGx
Totaly agree with Ghostgirl regarding numbing cream, don't even consider it and listen to your body.
Definately start with a finger, lots of lube (I choose Maximus for preference) and take your time because as the saying goes "only fools rush in". Your anus is only used to one way traffic so you will need time to teach it and find whats best and works for you; Relax and take your time.
Regarding toys, well again same as gg. Flared bases are a must, and must be designed for anal play; did I mention lube? Yes, well worth mentioning again!
Try http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 for an easy first plug or http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539 as a starter set.
Vera felicitas est ... praesentibus frueretur, nec in posterum pendere cupiebant (Seneca)
Tiberius wrote:
Totaly agree with Ghostgirl regarding numbing cream, don't even consider it and listen to your body.
Definately start with a finger, lots of lube (I choose Maximus for preference) and take your time because as the saying goes "only fools rush in". Your anus is only used to one way traffic so you will need time to teach it and find whats best and works for you; Relax and take your time.
Regarding toys, well again same as gg. Flared bases are a must, and must be designed for anal play; did I mention lube? Yes, well worth mentioning again!
Try http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 for an easy first plug or http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539 as a starter set.
Vera felicitas est ... praesentibus frueretur, nec in posterum pendere cupiebant (Seneca)
ghostgirl wrote:
Another no vote for numbing cream. Pain is the body's way of telling you that you are damaging it, this is one instance when listening to your body is important.
Start small, a clean finger with short well filed nail and lots of lube. Slowly work up in size, this can take a long time and somepeople will never get beyond finger sized insertions. Relax, if it hurts stop take deep breaths until it passes and then decide if you want to carry on or to stop. Don't just yank a toy out if it hurts, if can do damage on the way out as easily as on the way in.
Whichever lube you decide on you need to use lots, the anus is not self lubricating. Once you think you have enough on add some more.
Only use toys which are designed for anal play, look out for the flared bases or handles. Trust me you never want to hear 'oops' as someone lets go of a well lubed toy and it vanishes.
xGGx
Excellent advice!!!
Another no vote.
Past experience was with an ex who`d done it some time before we met, enjoyed it but even so took time and patience, lots of lube both natural and shop bought.
Taking time and giving/having lots of patience, understaing, communication, face to face altho theres lots who dont like anal on their backs, any other position than the woman on her back means relying on verbal comm`s.
I dont know if its available here but theres a device that allows you to as it were inject lube directly into the recipients ass so that its well lubricated, maybe that might be an idea to try ?
Only ever done it "full on" with the ex tho have done anal play with current partner who was surprised at the intensity of her orgasms from just "play".
Strikes me that the subject is both so well provided for, talked about and practised nowadays with women taking the lead sometimes.
Set aside an afternoon or lazy morning, take time to get relaxed, have lots of lube handy, even take a warm bath beforehand but whatever you do, whichever way he goes about it, patience understanding your sensations and communicating how your feeling, if your experiencing pain and/discomfort are key to enjoying it.
Toys, plugs etc might help but ultimately if you want to experience and enjoy it with your partner I`d say perseverance pays, it`s not something the ordinary girl in the street can take like you`ll no doubt see in a readily available porn film, set in the bounds of a loving relationship, anal and mutually enjoyable anal sex is worth the time invested that it takes to achieve and get comfortable with plus it can give extraordinary orgasms !
Yet another no vote. I am pretty large, but I get in all in my ladies rear, without the need for numbing cream - just a good lube. It may take a bit of practise, but listen to your body, and tell you OH what you need him to do. Get it right and it feels amazing, :-)
ruffnek wrote:
Tiberius wrote:
Totaly agree with Ghostgirl regarding numbing cream, don't even consider it and listen to your body.
Definately start with a finger, lots of lube (I choose Maximus for preference) and take your time because as the saying goes "only fools rush in". Your anus is only used to one way traffic so you will need time to teach it and find whats best and works for you; Relax and take your time.
Regarding toys, well again same as gg. Flared bases are a must, and must be designed for anal play; did I mention lube? Yes, well worth mentioning again!
Try http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 for an easy first plug or http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539 as a starter set.
Vera felicitas est ... praesentibus frueretur, nec in posterum pendere cupiebant (Seneca)
ghostgirl wrote:
Another no vote for numbing cream. Pain is the body's way of telling you that you are damaging it, this is one instance when listening to your body is important.
Start small, a clean finger with short well filed nail and lots of lube. Slowly work up in size, this can take a long time and somepeople will never get beyond finger sized insertions. Relax, if it hurts stop take deep breaths until it passes and then decide if you want to carry on or to stop. Don't just yank a toy out if it hurts, if can do damage on the way out as easily as on the way in.
Whichever lube you decide on you need to use lots, the anus is not self lubricating. Once you think you have enough on add some more.
Only use toys which are designed for anal play, look out for the flared bases or handles. Trust me you never want to hear 'oops' as someone lets go of a well lubed toy and it vanishes.
xGGx
Excellent advice!!!
Ditto the above advice, avoid desensitising lube, just use a good water based lube generously and take your time.
Hey Bizzle
Whether you desensitize or not, you should definitely be relaxed (physically and psychologically) before experimenting with any anal play. Foreplay can be a great way of relaxing both your body and mind, and of course use plenty of anal lube.
Anal lubes are a little thicker than standard lubes.
If you haven't done so already, I would recommend getting used to the feeling of sensations in that area before diving into full penetrative sex, by practicing with toys or a finger, either alone or with your partner.
You might like to read our guide on How to Introduce Anal Sex Toys to your Relationship. Although it talks mostly about toys, there are some really handy tips to help you get relaxed before exploring anal pleasures.
You might also like to check out our Guide to Anal Lube too :)
As with anything, listen to your body and take it s.l.o.w.l.y. There's no rush, and it can be an extremely pleasurable experience for both partners if you take your time and do it "properly".
Have fun!
trailerguy61 wrote:
Another no vote.
Past experience was with an ex who`d done it some time before we met, enjoyed it but even so took time and patience, lots of lube both natural and shop bought.
Taking time and giving/having lots of patience, understaing, communication, face to face altho theres lots who dont like anal on their backs, any other position than the woman on her back means relying on verbal comm`s.
I dont know if its available here but theres a device that allows you to as it were inject lube directly into the recipients ass so that its well lubricated, maybe that might be an idea to try ?
Only ever done it "full on" with the ex tho have done anal play with current partner who was surprised at the intensity of her orgasms from just "play".
Strikes me that the subject is both so well provided for, talked about and practised nowadays with women taking the lead sometimes.
Set aside an afternoon or lazy morning, take time to get relaxed, have lots of lube handy, even take a warm bath beforehand but whatever you do, whichever way he goes about it, patience understanding your sensations and communicating how your feeling, if your experiencing pain and/discomfort are key to enjoying it.
Toys, plugs etc might help but ultimately if you want to experience and enjoy it with your partner I`d say perseverance pays, it`s not something the ordinary girl in the street can take like you`ll no doubt see in a readily available porn film, set in the bounds of a loving relationship, anal and mutually enjoyable anal sex is worth the time invested that it takes to achieve and get comfortable with plus it can give extraordinary orgasms !
This is also excellent advice. Take things slowly, don't set yourself targets, just enjoy the whole process step by step and it will gradually become better and better. In a loving, trusting relationship it can be one of the tenderest and most intimate ways of making love.
the idea of numbing the ass is baffling to me .. why bother doing it if youre not going to feel anything ???
rubysoho wrote:
the idea of numbing the ass is baffling to me .. why bother doing it if youre not going to feel anything ???
I'm with Ruby on this one, apart from the loss of feeling, I presume occurs, surely a numb bum means that you are unaware of a degree of pain or the penetration becoming too uncomfortable until it is too late (gets very sore all of a sudden).
I enjoy anal penetration and use lots of lube but would never consider a numbing agent, if others use such can they clarify why? and is there loss of sensation? etc,
i wouldnt numb it at all, you wont know if doing any damage, just take your time slowly with a good lube, just try a little further each time you try so you get used to it
I find the beginners basic anal prober is very good to start with, use the beaded side first the other side to worm up, it's a really good toy and cheap too, I love it, ps I don't really like normal butt plugs but the vibrating ones I find very good. :)