Hi all,
Being new to the world of bondage and always being the one in charge. Looking for advice on what to do and what not to do?
have u looked at the 3 for £15 lots of different bits on there? maybe start with the simple blind fold and cuffs and go from there.
I wouldn't say there is any do's or don't's. just try different things out and see what you like. you may even surprise you self
here's some basic toys for beginners.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/bondage-for-beginners/
Don't ever leave them on their own tied up etc mainly because it's unsafe in case something goes wrong and it could really frighten somebody if they are the one left alone.
Talk first about what both of you do and don't like and what your limits are. Agree on a safe word for use if things get too much.
Purpose made and bought items are ideal as there should be less risk of things getting too tight around body parts which can happen with household items. Don't loose keys if you have any kit with locks!
Big one is talk about aftercare and do that after whatever it is you've been up to. So take the time to do whatever both of you need to do to wind down. Spanking might involve a bit of TLC so anything soothing to apply is good. It's just taking the time to bring things back down especially if either person feels it was intense.
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Thank you both for the advice, we have got a few bits that we play and excitement with. We both would like to take it to the next level now we are both comfortable with it and the trust is built up.
What would be next now, we have bed restraints, handcuffs, blindfolds. What would be the next purchase to take it up a notch
Ticklers, floggers and hot wax are always good when your tied up and blindfolded, the anticipation is always a huge turn on.
I apologise for the ignorance but the hot wax, does this not cause more pain than pleasure?
It's not as bad as it sounds tbh try it on the back of your hand first with a normal candle it's a bit of a shock when it lands on your skin but it cools and starts to solidify pretty much instantly, but it isnt painful it's actually a massive turn on anticipating when an where it's gonna drop
May have to look into this for her and get her thoughts, maybe start with the massage candle and if it goes well turn up the heat :)
One thing I like to do when my partner is tied up and blindfolded is give her a really good oily massage focusing at first on her breast for a good 15 min the moving of slowly down then massaging her inner thighs. But don't touch her vagina just brush past it every now and then to build up the anticipation, then start massaging around her vagina and around her clit with plenty of warm oil until she's begging to be penetrated
Just try it out on the back of her hand with a normal tea light candle to show her it won't b painfull
Definitely appeals to me, I'm sure this will be something we will be trying very soon
Definitely appeals to me, I'm sure this will be something we will be trying very soon
The heat from the wax depends on how high you pour it from; the further it has to fall the cooler it is by the time it touches the skin.
Floggers or paddles are a good place to start. A flogger can be trailed over the skin before you strike. Ticklers are fun and mixed with a blindfold they are great, you can use all sorts of things in this way; ice cubes, hot stones, silky scarves, tassels on a throw just use your imagination.
That all makes sense, got a few things to think about and introduce.
Is this something that you include in your play or something you have tried and don't really do anymore?
Maybe a pinwheel? They look intimidating but work the same as a feather tickler does. It's great for heightening the senses. A soft flogger can also be used for tracing across the skin. The Tease by Lovehoney one would be a good introductory tool.
I agree that a massage candle would be a better place to start than just going straight in in with bondage candles. Definitely do some research on how to do this safely beforehand though.
Even though much of it been already covered just adding a few more tips.
Always make sure that there's some space between the rope and the body. Sames goes for cuffs, collars, tape - nothing should ever be too tight. Some knots might start slipping or tighetning so keep an eye out for that. As you're a beginner I'd also advise against long-time bondage or anything that you're not too sure about. It's good to start slow and enjoy where the journey takes you. Also, avoid the neck, pressure points and handle the rope carefully to avoid rope burns.
Lastly keep a pair of scissors nearby, it's not really necessary but you never know.
Have fun!
how about a gag? a crop? flogger.... just a few ideas.
For myself and my FWB we do use blindfolds, feather ticklers, soft restraints and spanking but that's just with hands. We don't use all of those things all the time, it just spices things up and depends what we're doing or feel like. I don't have a massage candle yet but hot stones and/or ice we'd both love to try. I have a suede flogger so going to introduce that which he doesn't know about yet but that I think will be something to mention rather than reveal that without any discussion. It's all kind of on the gentler side of it and quite tame to some but the biggest things are that we trust each other, we talk things through, we're both quite open to trying new things provided we are both happy with it and if one doesn't like it when we've had a go then we can just not do it again. We're pretty much beginners ourselves really so still exploring and just enjoying that. Not worrying too much about what's next really as I think it's still fun and exciting now.Letthefunbegin wrote:
That all makes sense, got a few things to think about and introduce.
Is this something that you include in your play or something you have tried and don't really do anymore?
Hace a quick read of my review of this bondage candle. And don't use tealights - they actually burn much hotter! http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=32164&reviewid=146057#customer_reviewsLetthefunbegin wrote:
I apologise for the ignorance but the hot wax, does this not cause more pain than pleasure?