This is mainly a question for the girls - though guys feel free to respond too!
I'm just wondering if I'm too picky. I usually find it easy to tell if a guy is coming on to me or is interested, but sometimes I draw conclusions on them based on how they 'chat me up' for want of a better expression. If a guy is too forward, I always think that they just want me for sex (don't get me wrong, I love sex, that's why I'm here!), if they're too complimentary and soppy I think they're going to be clingy and stalkerish - and then you get the ones you have to chase because they're so shy! And they turn out not to be very adventurous in bed. I know I'm generalising, so apologies.
I'm just wondering where I'm going to find a nice guy, who won't mess me around, but isn't too clingy or 'square' and is an absolute animal in bed and up for anything?! Do they exist?
yes we do exist unfortunatly theres not that many of us men who are like wat you,re looking for but keep looking im sure youll find your man probably when your not looking or even where n when you least expect to find him. mind you i started off shy so dont assume just because a guys shy he,s not going to be that perfect he might just need help coming out of his shell n from sounds of it and from your picture you might just be what one of them needs.
bobsky - so you think it's possible for a guy to be shy initially but he could still potentially be really open-minded and up for anything? I don't mean I just want sex - obviously I'd love the whole "so in love everyone else is damn jealous" thing, but it would be great to find that someone that isn't a complete shit and will try anything once!
just to chuck my four penneth in here. Mr Mercuria was so shy when I met him 13 years ago that he couldn't even look me in the eye when he spoke to me. I was his first girlfriend, took his virginity and introduced him to a whole new world!
I mentioned your post to him the other night and he said pretty much the same as bobsky. He said that shy guys are just lacking in a little self-confidence and if I hadn't been so approachable and experimental we would probably ground to a halt. He said that the key is to respect comfort zones, create a safe environment in which to push boundaries and give reassurance- especially if he isn't too experienced.
Mr M is certainly a fully paid up member of the kinky club now as you'll see from my other posts. Yes it has taken some time to get there and until recently some of my desires were not being met, but of course the trade off has been knowing that he isn't a complete shit, he is faithful, not out screwing around with all and sundry and of course, we've invested energy into our relationship and he's now my best mate in the whole world!
From my experience what a guy displays in social situations has no bearing on how he is in bed - hence the saying "it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for"
Ironicly my hubby used the chat up line "I only have 2 inches" when it was pretty far from the truth... sex is good yes but not a good basis for a relationship. My most vigorous and adventurous (ex) parter turned out to be a complete bastard and then was later arrested as a paedophile. Great sex - very very bad man.
Miss Kitty - I know sex isn't the basis of a relationship, but I'm definitely not a 'once a week in missionary position' type of girl. I'd get very frustrated and fear that could ruin the relationship.