So how often do you touch your OH during the course of a day? Not sexual touching, but just a hug, caress, peck on the cheek, something that conveys love and caring.
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All the time.
I’m sorry to say that as I know what you’re going through and have been experiencing for a while now.
Now, my 1st marriage was the opposite. She didn’t want me to touch her really and she let me know it, often while not being nice to me about it.
It’s 180 degrees the opposite with Miss Heather. I mean with non-sexual touch as you alluded to in your post.
Whether we’re in the kitchen, the family room, on the back porch, she and I will be next to each other, touching in some way.
It’s wanted by both of us, it’s reciprocal.
One lady I dated between my marriages pushed and pushed for touch but it was just “wrong” with her, in my mind I mean.
She was clingy and she was needy and the touch always felt off with her.
The same touch is done by Miss Heather as that other lady I dated, but it’s not clingy or needy.
I am sorry for what you’re experiencing and going through.
I was there for over 15 years and it is its own form of hell, if you ask me.
In many ways, I’m “glad” to have found out my 1st wife was cheating on me. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have ever left her (maybe should would have left me eventually though).
I get we all can’t be happy all the time in life, that’s not reality.
But life is too short to be so unhappy for so long, at least in my opinion.
I was that way for way too long and I’ll never allow that to happen to me again. I can’t control Miss Heather so should something change down the road, it will have to be corrected in a way that we both may accept or I’ll be gone.
I refuse to live unhappily for years and years again with anyone, even Miss Heather.
I need to be adding to Miss Heather’s life and she needs to be adding to mine.
If either of us are hurting the other in some way, making each other sad, lonely, depressed and I mean for years and years, not just during one bad time, then it’s past time to end things between us.
I’d rather be single and alone than to be in a marriage/relationship where I’m lonely all the time, even when my partner is in the room with me or lying in bed next to me.
I’ll never go back to feeling a million miles away from my partner even though she was 5 feet from me in a room like I felt in my first marriage with my ex-wife.
I lost too much of my life that way and life is too short for me to go through that ever again.
I wish I or others could do something to change you situation, I really do.
I hope and wish nothing but the best for you.
For so long I had no idea I was just existing and not really living.
I refuse to just exist anymore.
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We usually have a cup of tea in bed in the morning and start the day off with a cuddle, it sometimes goes further, but the cuddle starts the day. If either of us leaves the house or return we briefly kiss and cuddle. During the day if passing each other we touch or brush up against each other. We are a touchy feely couple and show our emotions weather in private or public.
Like @paulsballs we’re a very touchy feely couple. We are always touching each other. I think it is healthy to be like that, those constant affirmations that you’ve been chosen are lovely.
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Mrs W here …
Yep, as @paulsballs and @KinkyMira we are the same, lots of touchy feely, pecks, kisses, caresses… its all lovely… xx
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If I had one it would be a lot of touching, kisses and warm embraces
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All the time. We constantly touch, stroke and kiss whenever we pass each other 
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Over the course of our marriage we always have been affectionate toward each other. I always would give her a touch, or kiss when we are in the same room, or when we pass each other, a behavior I learned from my dad.
When we are out shopping or walking we always hold hands as we are moving around, its just automatic, even now. I used to hug her more, when we were in our other house, the kitchen was smaller, more intimate, and we couldn’t pass each other without touching. There were many times when she would be at the sink or island and I would be walking past and simply come up from behind and hug her, often pressing against her bum with my body, which always got me aroused. I have not done that in a while now.
I do miss that part of us, things feel strained and not as comfortable.
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We can’t pass each other in the hall or kitchen without us touching each other. Even if its just a hand on the waist, a quick peck, slap on the bum or even a playful poke in the stomach.
Sitting on the couch we also end up with a hand on a leg or stroking her hair and if we are walking outside we always hold hands.
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We have spent the day today running errands and shopping, holding hands and much closeness , more than the recent past. It felt good to be somewhat reconnected in a familiar way. There are still issues to resolve, but at least it’s a start. We’ll see how things go. As we were half way through our shopping, she mentioned getting home and settling down with her book to study, and chilling out. I told her I might have had something else in mind for the afternoon, at which she replied, “ I can guess what that might be”……. The trend continues, as usual, intimacy was right at the bottom of the list, or , actually not even considered.
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Most definitely, although its slightly different for me because we are apart a lot, I will say the absence makes the heart grow fonder for sure 
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As much as possible to be honest haha I’ve always been a touchy kinda guy so my wife gets that all the time
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We’ve been doing a lot more touching over the last couple of days, more like our past practice,and it feels great. More hugs and kissing, even just in passing is making me feel more connected.
We are quite touchy- we like to kiss if one of us leaves the room and always cuddle up on the sofa .
Me and Mrs bustywife are the same whether its kisses, cuddles or fondling we are a very touchy feely couple which is lovely after 30 years of marriage
For us. 90% of the touching is initiated by me. It is an attempt to try to be more intimate with each other. So far, I have not had much random touching or fondling directed toward me. It’s kind of frustrating actually.
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As always, I’m sorry @Latestr8
And as always, that was me during my 1st marriage too.
Miss Heather is the complete opposite in all respects from my ex-wife, luckily for me, so I no longer have this issue, but I did for a bit over two decades with my ex-wife.
And it’s difficult.
I know folks (and therapists) tell us to communicate, to tell our partners what we want.
Telling some folks what we want, even if they are our partners, doesn’t mean they will do it or that they want to do it.
Also, I don’t want things done to me that are “forced” and by that I mean I may tell when a person is doing something they really don’t want to be doing.
I want my partner to WANT to touch me, on her own, of her own volition.
When communicating and using words results in zero change, it really depressed me.
My ex-wife would always ask me what I wanted for my bday and I’d always tell her it was for us to have sex.
Y’all are smart so you already know the answer to how many times in our 16 plus year marriage I had sex on my bday with my 1st wife. That would be a grand total of ZERO times.
I didn’t have the energy or the spirit inside of me to answer her in our later years of our marriage when she again would ask me what I wanted for my bday. It was pointless and by then I no longer really wanted sex with her either.
Me too. With my ex, it was always the same thing. I stopped even asking for sex as it was moot. There was only a few times she ever initiated and it was mostly when she was ovulating, and her hormones were cranked up, a dangerous time to have sex, unless you wanted to get pregnant. She wasn’t on birth control ( for what ? ) so I eventually got a vasectomy to prevent any complications. I am really struggling now, with some depression and anxiety. I hardly feel like even masturbation any more. Unusual for me. I go from being relatively happy, when I am doing things that are products, like working on the house, to feeling lost. In a lot of ways, similar feelings as before, which is really scary. I thank you for your empathy. I know you have had trying times that you got through also. Wish you the best.
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