I've had a good rummage on LH but was wondering if anyone on the forum could help. Sorry if this is TMI...
I have an issue where the skin at the bottom of my vagina on the outside - I think it's called a fourchette - has been split in the past (not from childbirth) and now has healed so it doesn't stretch properly and can make sex quite uncomfortable and even painful. I've been to doctors about it and they've frankly been no help whatsoever (one told me it was normal for sex to be uncomfortable and I should just live with it and another suggested it was my fault for daring to be almost 30 and not having a kid - morons) so I'm going to try some self-help.
I'm trying to find something I can use to gently and gradually stretch the skin there so it loosens up a little. I guess I would need some sort of speculum type thing but ideally I'd like something I can wear for short periods of time while pottering around the house. My plan is to use that in conjunction with a little vitamin E oil to keep the skin well conditioned. I don't know if anything like this even exists but if anyone can recommend or suggest anything I'd really appreciate it!!
I never thought of something inflatable, but that's ideal! Thanks guys, knew if I asked someone would have the answer :)
Fingers crossed this works as I really can't face being fobbed off by yet another gynae who's only interested in why I haven't had children (apparently "because I don't want any" just isn't an acceptable answer) Gah!!!!
That would be my advice as well. Go and see a different GP! The doctors you've seen sound pants! Or see a consultant? If you don't want to pay privately a lot of GUM clinics have Obs+Gyn specialists who might be a bit more help Xx
I never thought of something inflatable, but that's ideal! Thanks guys, knew if I asked someone would have the answer :)
Fingers crossed this works as I really can't face being fobbed off by yet another gynae who's only interested in why I haven't had children (apparently "because I don't want any" just isn't an acceptable answer) Gah!!!!
i know you arent preggles orpplanning a child , but WHEN pregnant youre advised to rub olive oil into the skin bit you described as it tends to soften and loosen it , they advise you do this as it helps stretch the skin and prevent tearing during labour so i cant see why it wouldnt work to ease your vagina during sex too ?
Last count I've seen 4 GPs and 3 consultants, a mix of male and female. Every consultant has focussed on why I don't have children despite me making it very clear that that has nothing whatsoever to do with it. They seem to think the reason I want it sorted is so I can have lots of sex in order to procreate, not because I might just enjoy the idea of lots of pain-free sex! Sadly no cash for a private doc so lots of research and some self help ideas instead.
Rubysoho, I'd read the same thing but about vitamin E oil so was going to try that. However, I have olive oil in the cupboard downstairs...
Rock on pay day so I can do some ordering!!!
Last count I've seen 4 GPs and 3 consultants, a mix of male and female. Every consultant has focussed on why I don't have children despite me making it very clear that that has nothing whatsoever to do with it. They seem to think the reason I want it sorted is so I can have lots of sex in order to procreate, not because I might just enjoy the idea of lots of pain-free sex! Sadly no cash for a private doc so lots of research and some self help ideas instead.
Rubysoho, I'd read the same thing but about vitamin E oil so was going to try that. However, I have olive oil in the cupboard downstairs... Rock on pay day so I can do some ordering!!!
worth a try isnt it ?! good luck and i hope your ladygarden becomes pain free soon x
Maybe a little more time warming her up stretching her a little more & of course you already used lube . Try different poistions Ie cowgirl so she controls how much ect may help her feel mental comfortable too
Your skin has lost elasticity due to scar tissue in the area.
I would recommend massaging the area with your fingers and something like bio-oil to soften the scar tissue (after a warm bath is ideal). You should do this on a regular basis,I would say daily. (Be careful not to get any oil inside your vagina and although letting some soak into the skin will be beneficial, I'd suggest rinsing off any excess to avoid any disturbance to your natural pH levels.)
Also, vibrations can actually help to disperse scar tissue and soften it up. Why not get your hands on a small palm vibrator and use this to massage your fourchette. It will help to soften the area and feel awesome too! ;)
You could go with a 'stretching' method, though I would recommend you start with massage first. Ideally, you want your body to reabsorb the scar tissue to so that your skin returns to its usual stretchy soft self, not stretch the skin around the scar tissue. This could lead to sagging and a looser labia / forchette in later life.
I'd definitely suggest massaging the area before sex too, to loosen things up and get your body prepared. You could involve your partner and bring this into your foreplay to keep things fun too :)
Don't forget to use lube for sex, and try different positions too. Some may be more comfortable for you than others.
Going to find a vibe to use on my scar.... Thanks, Jess.
If you don't get on with the olive oil, maybe try sweet almond oil. It's one of the best for sensitive tissues. You can find it online or in a health food store on the high street. Not expensive either. It has vitamin E in it and other helpful things like that. Should be plenty of info on the net to read up on.
Going to find a vibe to use on my scar.... Thanks, Jess.
If you don't get on with the olive oil, maybe try sweet almond oil. It's one of the best for sensitive tissues. You can find it online or in a health food store on the high street. Not expensive either. It has vitamin E in it and other helpful things like that. Should be plenty of info on the net to read up on.
one told me it was normal for sex to be uncomfortable and I should just live with it and another suggested it was my fault for daring to be almost 30 and not having a kid - morons)
:-o :-o :-o
just appalled by that attitude from your docs!
never occurred to me to use a vibe on scar tissue, that's a very useful tip.
The vibrator idea is a good one - I'll give that a try along with some nice oil I think. If nothing else its a good excuse for a bit of "me time" lol
Thank you everyone for your ideas and tips - I'm keeping my fingers crossed I can improve things, if for no other reason than I am sick of feeling all horny and not being able to so nothing because I'm still incredibly sore from the last horny episode!
Thanks, Jess.