Hi everyone, I am a 24 year old single female and still a virgin.
I am after some toys, ideas, advice, ect for reasoning solo orgasm.
I have a couple of vibrators which I enjoy using but never seem to orgasm from.
I’m not sure how to stimulate myself internally, and generally focus on the clit, which I find becomes to sensitive and I pull away unsatisfied.
Any help would be amazing! Thanks all x
Hi everyone, I am a 24 year old single female and still a virgin.
Hi and welcome to the forum.
Unfortunately there is no toy that is guaranteed to give you an orgasm as everyone is different and needs different things. However, I can give you some guidance which might help.
Firstly, orgasms are part physical, part mental. You need to relax and be in the mood. If you start thinking about the fact you haven’t orgasmed then you probably won’t orgasm. Although it is much easier to say than do, you need to focus on the sensations you are feeling. Making sure you have time and that you aren’t going to be interrupted is important. If you do find your mind wandering, try and think of a fantasy. Otherwise try reading or watch porn or erotica. Whatever gets you going.
Secondly, many women find G Spot and internal orgasms harder to achieve than clitoral (although not everyone feels like this). So don’t worry too much about what should feel good, and concentrate on enjoying what does.
For clitoral orgasms
Have you tried using your fingers? Often the clitoris has a slightly more sensitive spot which can be easier to find with your fingers than a toy to start with.
There are gels and balms that can help increase your sensitivity and can be used with your fingers or with toys.
In terms of vibration, some people prefer a lower more rumbly vibration and some a high frequency buzzy vibration. This is more of a scale than an either/or.
Then there is how precise the toy is. Some people like very direct, pinpoint stimulation (ie toys with small surface areas touch the clit), others prefer a wider surface area to spread the vibration further.
Power can also be important, if you find yourself getting close but not quite getting over the edge, you may need a stronger toy. Whereas if you are going numb or too sensitive before you get close then you need less power. Materials can also impact the transmission of the vibration, so toys with sleeves will lose a little of their overall power for example.
Essentially, you need to look at the toys you have and think about what you like and dislike about them. Then try something a little different.
For G Spot orgasms
Your G Spot is around an inch or 2 inside the front wall of your vagina (ie towards your belly button). It is easier to find when you are aroused as it increases in size.
Some G Spots like vibration, whereas some prefer pressure and/or movement. It is about exploring what works for you. (Again for vibration, type of vibration and power will also matter)
Bunny always goes back to her rabbit, the type that rotates and has beads on the shaft, have you tried something like that? The combination of internal stimulation by the rotating head combined with the rabbit ears on her clit really help her orgasm.
Hiya @stephw22 welcome to the forum.
I would say a wand or a bullet…it’s trial and error though with toys as what works for one doesn’t for another.
Have fun trying
I can’t recommend the womenizer strongly enough. Its not direct vibration on the clit like many other toys, it surrounds the clit, with suction and vibration it indirectly stimulates. They are expensive but worth every penny. If your particularly sensitive, order on with 2 different sizes of heads or order the extra pack.
This toy is my ultimate fav. I started with the starlet and have now upgraded to the premium silencer.
Best of luck!
My OH sometimes focuses on her clit until it gets to sensitive to Orgasm from, what we learnt was to slow down the speed of the toy and to not rush the Orgasm. She use to feel it was taking to long to Orgasm and would just give up, I encouraged her to forget how long it takes and to relax and just enjoy the feelings and the Orgasm will follow.
Also the combo of a good gspot toy with slow movement and vibe on her clit was a winner to bring her Orgasm on.
Mrs B is a massive womaniser fan just like @Cherryblossom7. It never fails, can be fast or slow and doesn’t change sensitivity. We are both also big fans of main powered wands, both doxy and Lovehoney. Just need to stay at low power to reduce risk of desensitising!
I recently purchased this to try g-spot stimulation, no success there just yet, however it certainly works for clitoris stimulation, just getting it in the right position and turning it on full certainly works for me, it can make the clit a little sensitive but once you break through that few seconds it works wonders.
A beginners bunny is always good
Hi @stephw22 Welcome to the forum!
Like @Calie said, there isn’t really any toy that guarantees an orgasm since we are all so different.
I didn’t have an orgasm until I was in my mid 20s too. My first one was much more related to mental than physical stimulation. I found that reading erotica online really got me turned on and I still find that fantasies are essential for me to reach orgasm, which is probably why I find it much easier to reach orgasm on my own than with my OH.
I am very sensitive around the clitoris too - too much power or touching directly is painful for me. I find that a lower frequency vibrator held above the clitoris works for me. Lower frequencies travel further through the body which I find better personally but then we are all different.
Just try to take your time and enjoy exploring your body.
I’m afraid there’s nothing that can actually guarantee an orgasm as we’re all different. What may be a go to for one person won’t be for another.
I didn’t start using toys properly until later in life. I just used my hand to stimulate my clit and opening through my underwear before. When I started using penetrative toys, I didn’t orgasm straight away. It was almost like I was learning how to as I went a long. Just take your time to figure out what you like. I think the first toy I climaxed with was a rabbit. But now, I can pretty much cum with anything I use (even if the toy isn’t great. Haha). The only thing I can’t seem to do is climax with clit stimulation alone, but even my fingers will do for that.
I would say the most underrated tool is the brain. Fantasy and thought play a huge part in arousal. If your brain isn’t in the right mood, the rest of your body probably won’t be either. Have you tried thinking of something that turns you on, reading erotica or watching porn? It makes it easier to climax that way.
There are all sorts of internal toys to chose from. I love girthy toys with texture as they can be very stimulating. G-spot toys can also be great to get blended orgasms as some people have mentioned above.
Thanks for advice so far everyone, I’ve just done an order and treated myself to some new toys. (I couldn’t wait till January so paid for faster delivery, meaning I’ll be sat waiting for the postman over the next 2 days!)
Realistic Suction Cup Dildo 7.5 Inch
Power Buddies Clitoral Tongue Vibrator
BASICS Slimline Realistic Dildo Vibrator 8 Inch
Lovehoney Magic Bullet 10 Function Rainbow Bullet Vibrator Rainbow
Hoping to get something more from them. I currently have a small vibe which only has one setting. I also bought the Lovehoney Thrill Seeker 10 Function Remote Control Love Egg Vibrator a couple of weeks back. All I find woth this toy is its quite noisy on the lowest setting and I cant really feel it (In a pleasurable way) so I’m a bit put off turning the vibes up with the noise level.
Any tips about any of these toys would be great x
Hey @stephw22 welcome. I’m not an expert at female orgasms sadly, but you may be trying to hard. Might be an idea to get yourself completely at ease. Make sure you’re guaranteed some alone time. Pick what toy you want to try. Perhaps wear a blindfold and listen to some erotic hypnosis but don’t try to force the issue. The body is an amazing thing and often works away by itself!
@Scottishfunk Yes I get what you mean about trying to hard.
I’ve masturbated for a few years now (I’m 24) but only recently started to buy toys. I just get so frustrated over the fact I havnt and can’t seem to that it takes the fun away.
(I’ve only stocked up on toys because there’s 50% off plus my 20% student discount).
@stephw22 as a lot of people have said theres no guarantee of orgasm sadly as everyone is wired differently. The first time I used an aneros prostate massager I felt nothing compared to what others did. But I learned to completely relax, literally not do anything other than close my eyes and breathe. Cleared my mind of everything, and my body took over to have the best solo sex (and maybe just sex) I’ve ever had. I doubt my wife had ever had an orgasm, I believe she won’t let herself a bit like what you’re describing.