My bf masturbates very often. I understand. Now he has just bought one of those travel honeypot. I am not quite sure what to make of it. If he had it before i met him, it wouldn't have bothered me much but i think it's a new thing. I have a few views on the matter but would like to hear from other men around 30 yrs old.
If it doesn't affect your sex life with him then it is just a release for him that is different to masturbating the old fashioned way!
No different to you having toys and using them alone.
If it does not affect your sex life in a bad way then perhaps you should commend him! Many people have partners who are uptight about these things, perhaps you can make use of his open mind!
Hello and welcome by the way!
Thank you for your warm welcome. I just found the site :)
I am not sure how much I can express here, so if I am out of place, I apologise, i just need some prospective on this as I don't think I can make a judgement on this.
I agree that sex toys are fun, but the honey pot, isn't it taking it a bit further. I read some reviews on it by other men or boys(not sure) one person said it's same as the real deal, but a woman might feel, 'well what is her purpose?'. masturbation is one thing but buying a replacement of the real deal when you have a woman, makes one feel useless. what is a point of a women if u can buy a plastic one
Our sex life is great. we are having other problems at the moment and yes he does have a high sex drive and but then I do too.
I am just a bit creeped out by the device. he tried to cover with clothes in the wardrobe which i picked up as he was at the wardrobe for a bit too long. I am not sure if he knows I have seen it. some people share these things and we normally do but I think he's embarassed if he took the effort to cover it up. he may have also thought that I would have been disgusted.
Hi Angel!
My fella has this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14734 it's pretty fantastic tbh, has cool ridges and feels all soft. But it's no replacement for the real deal. It's cold and heavy, doesn' move, can only squeeze round him if he manually squeezes it (which is a pain when you just want to relax), it doesn't come, it dries out instead of getting wetter. It doesn't moan, it can't do two things at once, it doesn't have boobs to squeeze. It can't vary it's style depending on his mood. It can't whisper sweet nothings in his ear, or send him crazy with kisses.
It's definitely not a replacement. Fun to share though! Great to suck his balls whilst he's using it, and it's nice to see a different type of pleasure. Sitting on his chest and masturbating (something men LOVE to watch) whilst he gets to pump his cock inside something is great.
But at the end of the day, when he wants intimacy and love and amazing sex - he's going to come back to you every single time because you are responsive to him, you're warm and wet and moan and beautiful to look at. Men are visual creatures - looking at a woman's body is always preferable to a hunk of plastic. You love him and he loves you and you are always more sexually pleasing.
They feel "like the real deal" only to men who can't have the "real deal" - if they can have it, it's not a patch on the real thing!
It's nice to have something different - heck we women have dildos with ridges and swirls, rabbits with vibrations for the g spot and the clit, even sex toys that simulate oral these days! But to us, they are an *addition* to play, not a replacement!
The fact that he hid it from you is not on though! No wonder you're worried if he felt the need to hide it from you, he should know better!
Hope you can get over this hump and get back to wonderful with your bloke :)
Axx
I'm sure if you have any toys such as a rabbit or bullet you think it would be an absurd thing to suggest they could replace your partner. I think its the same with any toy be it male or female. By god the Tenga flip hole feels bloody good but it is certainly not a swap for my partner! The mental element barely exists with toys in most cases. How many sex toys genuinely beg for cock and NEED it at that very moment? Confidence in a partner is very attractive and feeling desired gives people a great boost. Fuckable plastic doesn't do that!
Some toys are a bit creepy or sleazy. I can't say I find 10inch dildos with explosive veins attractive! But if my partner thought it was a good outlet and it didn't affect us negatively I wouldn't worry.
The issue here seems to be that you are worried which is a fair response. Communication is usually the answer. Many men are threatened by toys (perhaps more justifiably given ladies can be a little bit more complicated and some toys can have women going from 0-60 in a minute) but it is a lack of communication that leads to fears and embarrassment on his part. It can be hard to bring up and many men feel that male toys are something dirty that only pervs in long macs use in parks, he might have his own fears that need discussing.
Think it through, what you find unnerving and try and answer them bits yourself or from posts here or on another thread and put a positive spin on it you could approach him with. Remember that he also probably has issues, like embarrassment ant the sooner you see that It really isn't a substitute, its an addition then it will allow you to enjoy it with him as an addition.
Hope this helps.
WandA wrote:
Think it through, what you find unnerving and try and answer them bits yourself or from posts here or on another thread and put a positive spin on it you could approach him with. Remember that he also probably has issues, like embarrassment ant the sooner you see that It really isn't a substitute, its an addition then it will allow you to enjoy it with him as an addition.
Hope this helps.
This is a very good point - there are all sorts of taboos surrounding male toys and your fella may feel insecure - hence hiding it from you!
Ax
Thank you both for your comments.
It definitely helps, as you mentioned, it is the worry of him not sharing this with me.
I would love to share things like this with my partner. I do have a rabbit.
he bought a bullet for us a few weeks back and he knows I am open to most things.
I guess I will have to tactful in approaching him with this. During the week, I was thinking to make a joke of it, so we could laugh about it but then things aren't great on the communication at the moment so i just let this honeypot drive me bit insane for a bit.
But i feel normal now, thank you for your open mind and honesty.
Don't worry about it. Its just a different release for him.
Talking about it is the best thing you can do, make sure you still don't feel threatened and let him feel he has nothing to be ashamed of. You never know, you might soon have him at your mercy while he gives you some oral and you relaxingly use his honeypot on him! Watching a partner masturbate or fuck something desperate to use yourself is HOT!
Definitely, think it's hot too.... Thanks :))
He's probably shy about it is all and worried it might upset you! I have some crystal clear perspective on this matter and the best course as others have suggested is just to bring it up in a sensitive and non confrontational (even sexy) way and see what he says, how he reacts.
My other half is pleased because she doesn't have to bother any more since I had my shopping spree! That wasn't what I intended at all but you live and learn!
My girlfriend recently bought me a Lupe Fuentes Mini Lotus Fleshlight which is more or less a honeypot. I can tell you as good as it feels due to the varied texture inside and different feel to sex it is by no means a replacement.
As it's already been said by AdnaW the toy won't ever be warm, self lubing or make noises like yourself but it is better than a normal masturbation session. What's even better however is when you use it together and suck and lick his balls during it's use.
Interesting... Thanks for the comments. :))
tronic wrote:
He's probably shy about it is all and worried it might upset you! I have some crystal clear perspective on this matter and the best course as others have suggested is just to bring it up in a sensitive and non confrontational (even sexy) way and see what he says, how he reacts.
My other half is pleased because she doesn't have to bother any more since I had my shopping spree! That wasn't what I intended at all but you live and learn!
Could you provide me with a scenario , a plan. As I mentioned we are not on th best terms at the moment and the last thing , i want is another argument.
tronic wrote:
He's probably shy about it is all and worried it might upset you! I have some crystal clear perspective on this matter and the best course as others have suggested is just to bring it up in a sensitive and non confrontational (even sexy) way and see what he says, how he reacts.
My other half is pleased because she doesn't have to bother any more since I had my shopping spree! That wasn't what I intended at all but you live and learn!
Could you provide me with a scenario , a plan. As I mentioned we are not on th best terms at the moment and the last thing , i want is another argument.
Angel29 wrote:
tronic wrote:
He's probably shy about it is all and worried it might upset you! I have some crystal clear perspective on this matter and the best course as others have suggested is just to bring it up in a sensitive and non confrontational (even sexy) way and see what he says, how he reacts.
My other half is pleased because she doesn't have to bother any more since I had my shopping spree! That wasn't what I intended at all but you live and learn!
Could you provide me with a scenario , a plan. As I mentioned we are not on th best terms at the moment and the last thing , i want is another argument.
do you think that might be why he didnt tell you about it? cos he didnt want to have another argument?
Angel29 wrote:
tronic wrote:
He's probably shy about it is all and worried it might upset you! I have some crystal clear perspective on this matter and the best course as others have suggested is just to bring it up in a sensitive and non confrontational (even sexy) way and see what he says, how he reacts.
My other half is pleased because she doesn't have to bother any more since I had my shopping spree! That wasn't what I intended at all but you live and learn!
Could you provide me with a scenario , a plan. As I mentioned we are not on th best terms at the moment and the last thing , i want is another argument.
Maybe you could look on here at some of the lubes they do & buy him some nice lube to go with it?
Say to him "I bought this to go with your new toy; I thought we could play together"
It would show that you're not offended by his toy use and that you want him to get the best from it.
good idea :) Thank you
Hi,
Where can someone tell me the best lubes for the honeypot.
Well you'll want a water based lubricant as oil and silicon based lubricants may be damaging to your sex toy. The ID Glide lubricant is water based and so sex toy safe while giving you a lot for your money. It's great value and a quality lubricant.
Angel29 wrote:
Hi,
Where can someone tell me the best lubes for the honeypot.
I'd suggest a water based lube... be careful with other types such as oil or silicone, it can 'melt' some toys.
I suggest a forum search or reading some reviews.External Media
Depending how much you have to spend I think the Tenga lubes will work great with most make toys. I have them from my Tenga Flip but they are a bit expensive for what you get.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17725
Hope you have fun!