My Dad did whatever he could to provide for his family, food on the table, roof over our heads, clothes on our backs.
He taught me how to ride a bike, read a map, everything i know about cars, computers and DIY. He helped financially where possible but never as a hand out, he taught me financial responsibility, work ethic, how to treat people.
Growing up we did everything together, trekking, cycling, camping, car maintenance.
Made me laugh and smile. Loved his family above all.
I grew up, moved out, got married, started my own family. Work and life got in the way of most of the things we did together but he was always there for me.
Now day by day, week by week, month by month he’s fading away and we as a family are bracing ourselves to lose him to alzheimers and dementia. It’s like a pain that grows everyday, takes its toll on everyone as we have no option but to be almost helpless knowing each good day could be as good as it’s going to be. Knowing the good days will become fewer and further apart. Terrified when the day comes that may be the last day he even knows who we are.
Whilst he is no longer the Dad i grew up with nothing can take away or taint the memories we created together. We all have different experiences and sadly mine isn’t going to end with him enjoying retirement telling stories to his grandkids.
My father was an alcoholic and a wife beater. I have far too many memories that no person should ever have but if i try and look at a positive, i suppose he taught me how not to act. He died when i was 24 and to be honest there was just an overwhelming sense of closure.
My dad was not a man to look up to. Given to fits of temper, shouting and verbal intimidation. No actual physical violence but emotionally a roller coaster. I was glad to move away when I went to university.
He did teach me how to maintain cars and motorcycles though.
I had a great relationship with my dad. He was a very masculine alpha male type, but I was lucky as was an accident baby and my siblings were well older than I. So I got him when he had mellowed with age and he spent a lot of time with me, talking to me and teaching. He shared all the things he knew and all the things he did right, but also all the things he did wrong. He was very athletic and into sports which we shared that love. We spent a lot of time watching football and basketball together and was my biggest fan when I participated always encouraging me. My sibling would always joke with me that I got a different dad than they knew, but they loved him and cherished him as much as I, they just had a different relationship. I did not have to share him, I was the only one home and I guess just had that extra time and bond. Next week will be nine years since he passed and I think of him every day. He was a great dad and grandfather as he loved my kids very much and spoiled them crazy, they also loved him very much and were devastated when he passed.