A recent post referenced a person’s dad and it made me think about all the influences my father had on me. He was a Canadian military colonel and taught me all the etiquette and proper manners… to help entertain the other officers. He afforded me tons of experiences from travelling through Europe in the 70’s to high mountain skiing in the 80’s. Early 90’s I flew into interior Maine, USA with a canoe tied to the bottom of the pontoon plane and paddled to the ocean. It was a strict and structured household but he never missed giving me world experiences. To this day, I have never met another that has ever raced trained bears on go-karts in Germany. Can’t do that shit anymore. LOL I thank my dad for teaching me what fork to use when and to come up with some great adventure trips.
It’s lovely to read about your experiences with your Dad.
Mine was, what can I say? He was a wise old oak, my best friend, my ride or die and my partner in crime. Dad and I used to wind one another up constantly, but there was so much love behind it.
Dad gave me my love for psychology: Dad was a social worker, so I learned a lof of ways of “dealing” with people through him. Unfortunately for him, his ploys eventually stopped working, so when Dad asked if we had a problem I would just smile and say “I don’t know, do we?”. I got warned a few times for trying my luck lol. His last gift for me was a Harley Quinn t-shirt with “Daddy’s Little Monster” on it. I knew what he was getting at.
Dad was also a beekeeper; we had 7 hives on a site here in Bristol, and 2 in the back garden. I kid you not, bees are some of the friendliest bugs you can meet. We used to go down the garden eating sweets and they’d only approach us because they wanted to try and get a taste too. I used to help with the honey extraction and the candle-making - hence my knowledge of why beeswax is not suitable for wax play, as mentioned here. I used to go with Dad to do the deliveries too, hence my affinity for carrot cake - I always got a slice for free from our retailer lol.
I’ll leave you with this, this is a poem I wrote after my Dad’s passing. Enjoy 
You Tell Me
As I sit here beside the pond,
And listen to the birds.
It’s almost as though you’re here with me,
And I can hear your words.
You tell me not to worry,
You tell me everything’s alright.
You tell me that you’re here with me,
Although you’re not in sight.
You tell me to keep going,
At least as best as I could.
You tell me that you love me,
Just as any father would.
You tell me that you’re proud of me,
And not to worry about my mistakes.
You tell me that you’ll be here with me,
No matter what it takes.
You tell me to look up and see,
You’re in the sunny skies.
And when I see my reflection, remember,
“You’ve got your father’s eyes.”
Oh my… my wife is a phycology major and we have heated but good natured arguments. Sorry… but I don’t really respect the profession and get my wife going big time because of it. My viewpoint is that the larger your head the more you can remember and the brain works like a hard drive. One needs to forget some stuff to remember new stuff. Hard drive is full. I know, I know, the brain doesn’t work that way but man, does it ever get my wife worked up which is kind of fun actually. LOL Might be another fun off topic chat… what do you and your OH argue about? How silly can we get?
Go for it, but be prepared to be amazed. You were warned lol.
Alao as an aside, hubby has a great way of dealing with me if I try to wind him up, he’ll just go “mmhmm”. Even a bad reaction is worse than no reaction lol.
Great comment. I know exactly what you mean.
It doesn’t take much effort to become a father…but to BE a real DAD does.
Mine is a very gifted man indeed…but should never have fathered children.
I owe him nothing he owes me big time.
Oh wow @CurvyJilly There is a story behind that but I won’t ask. Sorry if I prompted bad memories. When I posted the original topic I was only really thinking about good dad stories because that was my experience.
Sadly my father passed away when i was 12 so nearly 50 years later my memories of him are very few , but others have said i have inherited his work hard ethics off him , my ability to treat everyone the same and the love of the underdog and for these little things he drummed into me he will always be my hero
Similar story to my wife actually. Her father was the principal at her elementary school but passed after a heart attack on site. Her mom was awesome raising 5 kids on her own.
Lovely to see all these lovely Dads. Shame mine doesn’t number amongst them. He wasn’t there much. Wasn’t interested when he was. Gave me very little.
I know everyone’s experiences are different but we could just as easily start a mom thread cuz there are some pretty special ones out there.
My dad fixed things.
He mended his fridge when it broke.
He had a spread sheet for everything. He plumped up my pillows, left the little light on and bought me tea in bed after a night out
He said his generation never had it so good and my generation was paying for it. But he always helped
He was intimidatingly intelligent.
He slid cardboard quietly under my car when I pulled up on his driveway and checked my tax disc was in date.
He helped me buy my first house.
He genuinely made me laugh.
He knew EVERYTHING.
I lost him in February. Out the blue. Just grateful I held his hand until the very end.
Why the cardboard under the car? Oil leak?
Yep
Beautiful post! 
I love to see the positive comments about what your dad gave you. I must admit I am on the other side of things as it was more what I learned while growing up rather than what I was given.
My dad was one of those who liked to use his fists and belt rather than talk and support. His money was his and my mother was expected to do all the housework and use her money to provide for us. He was also a racist and homophobic.
What did he give me? Black eyes and scars from the belt.
What did I learn?
I learned that everyone should be judged individually.
Hitting your kids just makes them hate you.
Your partner deserves as much support as you expect yourself.
You can enjoy your life without needing to be top dog.
Happiness is more important than material things.
Never expect others to do things you are not prepared to do yourself.
The list goes on and on …
In essence I am who I am today because of how my dad acted and I chose from the age of 15 (when I left home) that I would be the opposite of my dad.
Mmm there are are, and then there are not. Mine has improved but I still have a hard time forgiving the past.
I’m so sorry for your experiences. Your father sounds a lot like my grandfather, a man I only really knew as “Grandad Grouch” (parents gave him that name). He was a heavy drinker, chain smoker and a chronic overeater, thought he was king of the castle and he lived like one. He died NYE 1997 of a massive heart attack. Ironically, like you, his father was the reason my father was inspired to become like the exact opposite of his Dad, and my father was the inspiration for why I aspire to be the exact opposite of my Mum.
We all have different experiences and make different choices. My dad chose to be like his dad and I chose the opposite. I am glad I did as I am in a 25 year + relationship with 3 grown kids who talk to me and even now ask for my opinion on things before making decisions. I always look for positives in all situations and will often put other peoples needs before my own.
PS. do not be sorry it is what it is and because of what happened I am who I am now and for that I am very happy
My dad was car mad and it is now something that i have inherited in a big way. He was fanatical about keeping his car clean and i am just the same. I could spend hours cleaning the car and leaving it immaculately clean just rhe way he would have.