New member here to forums but been using lovehoney for few years :). Love this site so much!
A bit about our situation. We're late twenties, been married for 6yrs together for 10yrs. Have two children (3yo & 7 month old). Im all healed from the birth etc, no medical boundries.
I have quite a high libido compared to him so have been used to taking care of myself for a while, however, when ever we have sex.... its ALWAYS missionary. He's ALWAYS on top.... its great sex, but lacking a change. We have tried doggy, me on top but he just goes straight to missionary now. Ive lost a lot of weight since birth of second child so body in best shape ive been in for all my 20's - he's interested in me and rubs his hands up and down, then he goes off to play ps4 :(. He doesn't let him wank him for long, doesnt let me blow him hardly ever.
I feel so adventurous, yet stuck!!
Ive just ordered the Monogomy game from LH so will give that a go to see if he can change his view. Any other ladies/gents been in this position? Any advice?
a guy who doesnt let you blow him,that has to be a first. its not the thing that some guys get where the view their partner as a mum to the kids and get a bit put off is it? have heard it before,they find it harder to see their wife as a sexual person after they had kids. was it the same after first child or before you had any?
Cuddle and seduce him.In readiness wear some sexy lingerie under your every day clothes so he diesn't suspect anything . Then by kissing attack his erogenous zones and slowly peel his clothes off and then you follow exposing your sexy lingerie. Take you time though and do it over an entire evening You will leave him breathless if done right and for making love keep in control by doing the Cowgirl position. Slap his hands and say "Naughty" if he tries to get you into the. Missionary position. Keep in control.
He's always been like it :/. Maybe do 1 BJ every year or two. God it sounds awful writing it down! He's very dominant "he's the guy, he does the foreplay, on top for sex etc". Ive not successfully managed to change his mind set that id like to pleasure him too. He worships my body during foreplay, which turns him on, but i can barely touch him before he's in top for sex. Although my mind is horney as hell, im quite shy and reserved with taking over (been knocked back by him few times when i tried to go on top).
Kids are not such an issue now as 7mo is kind of getting a sleep routine.
It was only last time we had sex, he actually put the lights on dim, its usually pitch black! Xx
Ohhh i like that idea Mysteron! Ive got plenty of sexy underwear, just stuffed to back of the cupboard as i also go knocked back wearing it years ago - ill try again though ;). Like the idea of slapping his hand away! :) xx
must be hard for you. we are so lucky that we are both happy to do what the other wants. how about asking as a treat for you? is a very tricky thing when sexual desires and needs are different. very hard to stay happy
I would find out what it is that arouses him. What he would like to experiment with. His fantasies etc. Make it clear though that this is very important to you. Don't expect too much though, if his sex drive is lower then yours there isn't a lot either of you can do to change the fact that you will need relief more then he will. I think monogamy is a really good idea. He obviously likes games if he's always on his ps4. This one would be good too http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=31426 x
Could he not just be tired or stressed maybe with work etc?
We have a 5 year old and 10 month old, hubby will always smack my bum and make comments several times a day but we only actually have sex a couple of times a week, and that's dependant on little one.
Baby is still in our room due to an upcoming house move, and he doesn't like doing things with baby in the room. (so if we do it tends to be spooning when we have sex in our room) Also, our little one doesn't sleep well and hubby is a light sleeper so he's always tired plus stressed from running his own business. Whereas since having baby, my sex drive has gone through the roof.(even more than it was before)
It could just be a combination of things. Have you tried just asking him? It may be that he wants to, but he just physically is exhausted or has things on his mind.
Thanks for your responses ((hugs)). So nice to talk this out without stirring it up in my head.
I would love to know more about this fantasies and sexual desires, but he's like a clam. I can never get info out of him, if i try he just wont talk or worse; walk away. The only thing ive found over the 10 years is that he likes me digging my nails into him (when doing the deed) and swearing passionately during sex. Apart from that im pretty clueless. Will pop them cards on wish list ready for next LH order (thanks vanilla_kink!).
Jessicaleo - yeh my sex drive has also gone through the roof! Lol. Our 7m old went into his own room at 2.5m old - however his sleep has been painfully awful till about a week ago. I feel your pain when it comes to dealing with babies etc. I just dont want it to hinder our love life more than it is. He has been quite stressful with work (got big promotion etc) - i thought he was over that though as it was bout 4 months ago.
Ive ordered a lace halter neck bra type lingerie to go with monogamy so will see if that will turn him on! Xx
Thanks for your responses ((hugs)). So nice to talk this out without stirring it up in my head.
I would love to know more about this fantasies and sexual desires, but he's like a clam. I can never get info out of him, if i try he just wont talk or worse; walk away. The only thing ive found over the 10 years is that he likes me digging my nails into him (when doing the deed) and swearing passionately during sex. Apart from that im pretty clueless. Will pop them cards on wish list ready for next LH order (thanks vanilla_kink!).
Jessicaleo - yeh my sex drive has also gone through the roof! Lol. Our 7m old went into his own room at 2.5m old - however his sleep has been painfully awful till about a week ago. I feel your pain when it comes to dealing with babies etc. I just dont want it to hinder our love life more than it is. He has been quite stressful with work (got big promotion etc) - i thought he was over that though as it was bout 4 months ago.
Ive ordered a lace halter neck bra type lingerie to go with monogamy so will see if that will turn him on! Xx
Monogamy is a great game .I did a review for this around June last year. Just make sure that you have enough nibbles and props handy and try and set aside a full evening. By far the best adult game Imo .
You will have fun and both be naked in no time .
I would recommend that both of you go through all the cards and discard any that you don't want to do or can't do. For example mowing the lawn naked. We don't have a lawn !
But you will both have fun if you enter into the spirit of the game and don't take it seriously. You may also wish to cut back in the drinking side as well as you both could end up drunk quite quickly as thee are a lot of drinking squares !
You're all so sweet. Cant thank you enough for the help :).
I had a nice pampering bath y'day afternoon and put on my nicest lingerie and some sexy black holds up, covered it up in a Japanese floral dress. He commented how nice i looked then we had about 2h of flirting as kids were up running riot. By the time they went to bed, we were both gagging to touch each other! I sat on the bed and got him undressed, he tried to lean forward onto me but i pushed him back so he was still standing an i gave him a long overdue BJ!
We did end up missionary, but before hand i was straddling him etc - guess getting 50/50 is better than him being total dominant.
Amazing how much power some sexy lingerie can give you ;) xx
You're all so sweet. Cant thank you enough for the help :).
I had a nice pampering bath y'day afternoon and put on my nicest lingerie and some sexy black holds up, covered it up in a Japanese floral dress. He commented how nice i looked then we had about 2h of flirting as kids were up running riot. By the time they went to bed, we were both gagging to touch each other! I sat on the bed and got him undressed, he tried to lean forward onto me but i pushed him back so he was still standing an i gave him a long overdue BJ!
We did end up missionary, but before hand i was straddling him etc - guess getting 50/50 is better than him being total dominant.
Amazing how much power some sexy lingerie can give you ;) xx
Eventually he may want yiu to become. More dominant. Deep down many guys like it and that's perhaps the only one small flaw of my Mrs is that she isn't dominant enough and prefers the submissive role.
Mysteon - Oh i do hope so! He enjoyed the BJ so im hoping its a start to him relaxing letting me take over some of the time. He's a muscular guy while im smallish framed so its very difficult to stop him from flipping me or pinning me down, guess that's another issue i have to work on xx
Mysteon - Oh i do hope so! He enjoyed the BJ so im hoping its a start to him relaxing letting me take over some of the time. He's a muscular guy while im smallish framed so its very difficult to stop him from flipping me or pinning me down, guess that's another issue i have to work on xx
You could try and introduce some restraints. The fluffy handcuffs look innocent enough and will stop him from flipping you over and keeping you in control.
You will need some form of restraints for Monogamy . If you have to improvise try using one of his old ties or a belt from a bath gown.or even a scarf .
Restraints will give you more fun and help to keep you in control.