My wife and I are giving serious consideration to trying a threesome. We’ve spoken about it so many times, usually during sex and are now in a position to give it a go. I’ve had a fantasy for a long time about watching my wife with another girl and then joining in myself. Other than going to a swingers club what other ways would you recommend to find a willing participant? We live in the Middlesbrough area.
Why not swingers' clubs? Were in a similar position to you and think clubs are the safest way to go. With social meets, you have the risk of no shows...bait and switch....couples that turn out to be a single bloke....at least with a club, you know everyone is there pretty much for the same thing....if you're looking for a single girl to complete your FFM....good luck, it's not for nothing that they're known as 'unicorns ' in swinging circles!
Yes, a club is the best place to start. If you invite someone to your hoime for your very first 3some and don't like it, you might have trouble getting the person to leave. In a club you don't have that problem.
Agree finding a singoe female is difficult (impossible?) until you are into the swinger scene. Start off with a 4some, like we did, and play 3somes while one person watches.
I’ve always wanted to experiment with mmf and ffm threesomes but never had the opportunity, I’m very keen to visit the sex club on the a1 in Lutterworth and have some new experiences
Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:
We’ve also talked about this, my hubby doesn’t want to PIV with another woman, just me, but we don’t want a friend to join us, as we don’t want to ruin a friendship.
Completely agree about NOT inviting a friend. We did that once early on and lost the friend. Not everyone is as relaxed as we are about swinging!
Depends upon the club, the one we got to haa dress dow policy for the playrooms and hot tub, you have to be in lingerie, towel or naked. If you want to be in any of those in the main club, that's fine, otherwidse smart casuals for the bar lounge area and dancefloor. Don't worry about the club being too close to home, it's highly unlikely you'll meet anyone you know and, if you do...they will want to be discreet just as you do....telling your work mates who you saw t the swingers' club kind of gives away thatyou were there too.....You don't have to play with anyone you don't want to.....get talking to folks, be open and be polite, just because the female of a couple plays with you, doesn't mean the male has to....we are similar to you although it's me that doesn't want to play with other women, and we have established boundaries as to what's ok and what's not for Mrs D...go to a club, but go with the intention of not playing with anyone else, it's a very 'freeing' experience to engage in sex in front of a room full of people, pretty much none of whom actually give a damn about what you are doing...we were having full sex with a couple just laid on the beds next to us, just chatting and there was a stream of conversation coming from the hot tub that had nothing to do with sex at all!!! I think it's something that you should do at least once....just to say 'been there, done that'
Me and wifey had our first threesome by creating profiles on adult 'dating' sites, I am fairly lucky in that she is only interested in girls (guess I'm all the man she can take, huh..lol) which suits me perfectly as a hot blooded hetro man. We created our profiles quite carefully with the aim of appealing to the unicorns way of thinking, rather than describing what our desires were alone we tried to imagine what the girl was looking for and create it in our profile. Excellent pictures helped too, it's worth looking into a few basic photography techniques if this is something you do, even with a basic camera on a phone you can achieve good results with controlled lighting and certain alluring body positions. There are lots of idiots, however, but after messaging lots of girls we started to get some interest once they realised that what we had in mind was actually very hot and appealing to them. Also it probably helped that we conducted ourselves carefully and with respect, with the amount of eager/rude people on these sites you need to ensure you can stand out from the crowd quite clearly.
We have still never been to any swinger parties, it is something we have discussed but we both have particular tastes so I'm not sure the pot luck approach of meeting whoever might turn up that night appeals to us. We are not true swingers anyway, as she is only interested in being with and seeing me with girls. We feel this may be another hurdle in such an environment, but of course this could be our lack of knowledge about such events and I think we need to find out more before we rule this idea out.
One way I have heard curious couples enacting their fantasy scenario is by using 'professional' services, this way you can really control your first experience as the girl would be seeking to make you happy during your time with her and you could literally direct her to fit the scenarios you may have discussed during sex. It would be easy to organise, you could 'shop' for a girl online that fits both of your fantasies and if it caused any problems between you (jealousy, etc) it would be much easier to walk away from and dust off your hands to the whole thing. You could also visit them so you are away from your own home and any complications that may arise in being there.
Also, we have had surprising results simply by going out to clubs and bars and actively 'flirting' with girls together. Many girls seem to figure out what we are up to and come to talk to us. We both flirt with her and make her feel good, so she already sees that we are generous with our affection, and the drinks help to lubricate their confidence to try something new.
While they do refer to these girls as unicorns, they are far more common than this name suggests. It is a fairly common fantasy, the trouble is that it seems far more common for horny couples looking for single girls, hence unicorn. So in order to attract such a girl, I think you need to use techniques to either make yourself more appealing to them or to work like a hunter and be actively looking to 'intercept' them as you may encounter them, before some other couple may tempt them away. I think it helps to spend a good while imagining what they are really looking for so that you can fill this gap for them (pun unintended but let's stick with it).
From the single female side of things, sometimes it is difficult to understand a couple who don't put themselves across properly. I've met couples who come across badly or too overwhelming because it is their first time and some parties get overexcited and too forward. As a single female in a threesome, comfort and attraction is soooooo important! I do not go to swingers clubs because it's sometimes very overwhelming to walk in alone, you suddenly get a mass of eyes on you regardless of what you look like and it can be a little uncomfortable like you're some sort of prey. This is coming from someone experienced and confident too! I love having attention on me in a sexual manner but that can just be too much and take away your sexual feeling. Definitely ensure you have your boundaries set, and make sure the girl involved is aware of these as not to ruin the experience for you! I am very no holds barred so for me, I need to know that something I'm doing is in line with their needs or desires and not going to upset the night. Fully agree on it not being someone you know. Keep your personal life and your sex life separate!!
Don't feel like that in terms of ruining someone else's night! There are 100% women out there who are experienced but would also make your experience worthwhile, the choice in woman for you guys will be very important, you'll need someone who is considerate of you especially and works with your comfort zone and builds up your confidence in that scenario. Don't lose hope if it is genuinely something you'd like to do.Justthe2ofus2007 wrote:
Thanks for the info, I don’t think it’s something we will rush into, I’m not experienced with sex with woman either, so I don’t want to ruin someone else’s night either. X
Definitely going the right way about it & not just diving in. When it comes to it, don't be upset if it is something you don't enjoy because it isn't for everyone. Though I'll keep my fingers crossed you have a pleasant & enjoyable experience when the time comes xJustthe2ofus2007 wrote:
Thanks miss terror xit’s a long way off yet, I have lots of work to do on myself first, but I’m curious, and my hubby supports this x
I guess we are unusual then, as all our experiences with threesomes and watching sex are with people we know, and we haven't lost a friend yet. We must be doing something right!
We've never flat out asked someone, just talked about the subject and decided collectively (over time) to give it a go. We now have a regular female friend that joins us when she is in the area, and we have parties where we watch friends shag (and shag for them).
I've always wanted to do the same thing have you dont it yet?
I’ve really got the urge to try it with another man. It’s something my wife and I talk about, perhaps we will someday. For now we use the fake cum style lubes for some fantasy fun, inside an ejaculating dildo.
Any thoughts on places Scotland for beginner couple ?