Hello, for some time now I have been unable to get an erection during my solo play. I can cum but my penis remains soft. Any ideas would be greatly welcome please, thanks.
I'm afraid I don't know much about this, but do you still get erections at other times (morning wood, for instance)? If you do then I think it's more psychological than physical. I think there's a test you can do while you're asleep to check if you're getting any in the night (something to do with a loop of tissue or a strip of postage stamps wrapped around it that'll break if you get hard? You might want to google it).
If you don't have any at all then I'd suggest having a chat with your GP if it's gone on for some time.
Hopefully someone else has more info. 🙂
Thanks for your advice Ian. I googled it, but I don’t think I can take any type of medication, the side effects can interfere with my eyes. I suffer with a hereditary genetic incurable eye condition, I’m currently under the care of an eye clinic (for the last three years), I had three laser operations on my eyes, & I have to take regular eye medication.
I meant google the nighttime erection test if you want more details of that. 🙂
Could the eye meds be affecting you in any way?
Thanks, I just googled the nighttime test, I’ll have to investigate that further. During and after my eye ops, I was having to take twenty eight types of eye meds, but for the past year I only take two types, multiple times a day. To be honest I don’t know for definite if they are affecting me, I’ve had some side effects over the years, nothing serious, but according to google they may aggravate things.
Sorry to hear it. Don’t know what you’ve tried so far, so apologies if all of this misses the mark: Have you tried a vacuum pump? If meds are out, manually increasing blood flow thru suction may be an alternative route. If you can get engorged, cock rings can help maintain things for you. Might be a useful 2nd step.
Knight, I sympathise as my hubby can’t get an erection due to the medication he has to take for his heart failure. It might be worth a chat to the Dr. I didn’t think there would be anything hubby could take to encourage an erection, but I was wrong. It hasn’t worked yet for him/us but there is hope. It all depends how the drugs work.
Is your eye condition needing your blood pressure low?
Thanks Louise, I really hope your husband’s drugs will eventually come through for you both. I’m not sure about my eye conditions causing/aggravating low blood pressure, the meds I take cover the multiple conditions, prescribed by the clinic, the last checkup was just before Christmas.
Thanks Knottydevil, I might have to try the vacuum pump. I had solo play this morning and I just couldn’t get hard at all.
Seek medical advice there could be an option youve not tried or heard about and speak about pumps etc as more damage could be done if threres underlying issues and i hope you both find a sollution
Thanks Deve&Debe, I might try talking to a Pharmacist.
If you are getting erections in the morning or during the night it could well be that you'll need to take a completely different approach.
Maybe a sex therapist could help? I have heard of men who have had help from experts who have recovered their mojo.
I hope you find it whatever approach you take.
Thanks VR. I’ve rarely woken up with an erection or in the night. I have never spoken to anyone in my life about personal issues, I wouldn’t know where to start. However I googled and found a couple of local therapists, but they’re expensive and I’m currently out of work at the moment.
I’ve seen a sex therapist in the past, was referred through the NHS, but I can’t honestly remember if it was through the GP or psychological services, but definitely didn’t have to pay. Bizarrely enough, currently looking for work is a good time to see if you can get in to see such people, who, like a lot of GUM type services, still seem to work office hours Mon-Fri, which might be even more tricky to fit in as and when you find work.
Best of luck mate, you deserve it. Has always sounded like you give so much of yourself and ask/ expect so little in return.
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Gosig, thanks very much for your kind words.
Hi Justthe2ofus2007, thanks very much, very kind.
Hi Knight,
I‘ve also had nothing but positive experiences of NHS services for both physical and psychological help and support. Totally recommend this route too as your first step. The more honest and up front you are, just as you're being with us now, the more helpful the medical professionals can be, in my experience.
If you're needing friendly ears to bend in confidence, for support or to compare your experiences, you know how to find us.
Wishing you all the best.
Hi Knottydevil, thanks very much, very kind.
well join my world because i know how you feel.ive tried all i could to get life back in the little guy but i think hes almost thru. if you find something thats works let me know take care the from tiny turtle
I also had a referral from GP to psychosexual therapist in my local GUM clinic. In male cases I think they'll do blood tests first to make sure there isn't something physical causing problems.
The difference between a well-trained psychosexual counsellor and a bog-standard CBT therapist is HUGE. No offence to any CBT therapists here, but I've gone through at least 6 before hitting gold with my wonderful psychosexual therapist. They're worth the wait and will give you the amount of sessions you need, not just the usual 6 and you're out.
Psychosexual issues are normally very, very deep and can go back a long time. My wonderful therapist gained my trust slowly with no judgement, a bit like peeling onion layers.
All I can say Knight and Tiny is NEVER give up hope. I'm still seeing my therapist, though not as regularly as I was, and have finally made headway with issues that go back decades to my teens.