Hi.
I'm in a relatively new relationship but we have discovered very quickly that we both like an extra spicey sex life!
However my partner has told me he has a vibrating butt plug plus a few other toys and these really turn him on.
So my question is.... HOW do I use these on him?
I've never had a partner who liked toys used on him before.
He also likes anal stimulation and rimming etc. I've never done these before (always been the receiver but never given oops 😱). So doing this with him for the first time was a little bit of guess work (and tips taken from here... thanks folks!), so I wondered about when the 'right' time is to try popping a finger inside him.... during oral?
Advice gratefully received!
My short answer is going to be - ask him.
It would appear you are both open to communication and he obviously knows what he likes so what could be easier.
Or perhaps you could make it part of your play - you will only do something if he has asked/told you to first.
Have fun xxx
Katie79 wrote:
Hi.
I'm in a relatively new relationship but we have discovered very quickly that we both like an extra spicey sex life!
However my partner has told me he has a vibrating butt plug plus a few other toys and these really turn him on.
So my question is.... HOW do I use these on him?
I've never had a partner who liked toys used on him before.
He also likes anal stimulation and rimming etc. I've never done these before (always been the receiver but never given oops 😱). So doing this with him for the first time was a little bit of guess work (and tips taken from here... thanks folks!), so I wondered about when the 'right' time is to try popping a finger inside him.... during oral?
Advice gratefully received!
As he is already into anal play you cantdo anything wrong. we guys love it when you inisiate . may I suggest you look into prostate stimulation its the ultimate male orgasm.
I think that your partner has said he already enjoys butt plugs the best thing is to ask him how he would like you to start and when how it feels to him so you both get enjoyment out of the session.
If you're sitting in front of him, say giving oral, just slide a lubed finger up his bum watching his face , try saying "Do you/You like that don't you? Want more? Want me to use your toys on you? you could also add, you could use them on me if you like,,,) I'm prety sure he will say yes, and go from there, I'm a solo butt plug player and its taken 20 years of being together to ask my wife to push her hand in me.
Thanks for all the tips folks, I was kinda thinking during oral/rimming might be the moment to try a finger! And yes move onto toys from there.
We've spoken about it by txt (sexting lol!) and I think we are both clear on what is acceptable to both of us.
We also kind of discussed the use of a 'safe word'. He said he would have to be in agony before using it, do you guys have/use a safe word? I had thought about using one not so much if thing were painful but more if things went further than you were happy with?
Green Giant, I have read up on prostate stimulation/orgasm and would LOVE to do this for him.
Is it easy to achieve? Better with fingers or toys? If toys which ones?
Katie79 wrote:
Green Giant, I have read up on prostate stimulation/orgasm and would LOVE to do this for him.
Is it easy to achieve? Better with fingers or toys? If toys which ones?
With your fingers looking him in the eyes, have a safe word, but push it more than you think
Get him on all fours, blindfolded....and surprise him with a good sized strapon...He'll be doing the washing up for months no questions asked!
If he is used to toys already there is very little you can do wrong, in fact when the prostate is involved the rougher the better. I find toys being used on me (pushed in and out strongly) more intense than fingers on my prostate. In fact I find toys, depending on the size and shape of the toy and ferocity of the person controlling it, more intense than having a penis inside me.
So be bold and be rough. let us know if you have any more questions about prostate orgasms.
As an update it turns out this guy was a bit of a lying time waster (not in the bedroom but out) so sadly I never did get to try any of this.
However I'm going to say his loss.... he did tell me that in over 20yrs of having sex he had yet to find a partner who would do these things with him. So REALLY his loss.
😔😢
So sorry I just been reading this thread and was really excited that someone was getting so much good advice on this subject and then got to the last post yours and we'll sorry to hear it didn't go well hope he realises what he's lost 😉
I'm sorry to see your update.
For anyone else
Good question. imo- Comminication is key, i say set boundaries and experiment
Thanks guys, I think I'm more upset at the loss of a great sexual partner rather than anything else.
Is it anyone else's experience that 'compatable' sexual partners don't appear very often?
A vanilla sex guy just doesn't do it for me and I find it a struggle to build a relationship with such a person.
Well maybe they are only vanilla because they haven't met someone like you. Why not try talk with the next one try new things expecting and you never know you could make them friskier and kinkier than you worth a shot I'd love to meet someone to experience different things with but I'm enjoying my time for now after a long relationship breakup. But anyway let us know if you do and I hope things turn out for the better 😉
Yes you're right of course GJ. *sigh* back on the market then. I hate the whole 'new dating' thing!!
Hi Katie79. I met someone for a very casual thing towards the end of 2015 and it all started out very vanilla and sedate. However, as time went on I realised that we could communicate incredibly well (even though we're not technically partners or anything) and before I knew it we were communicating some pretty wild fantasies and role plays with each other - it has to be said mostly using a messaging app which I found quite liberating. So, I suppose my point follows on from what Gentleman Jack says above, that open communication has opened up something totally unexpected for me which I'm enjoying very much. Hope another interesting opportunity opens itself up to you pretty soon too :-)
Don't here that often (your right of course) 😉 Yeah it's not good I split from a long term relationship met someone else but just wasn't to be it can feel a chore sometimes but I guess it's all helping towards the right one eventually just mini adventures along the way 😏
Yeah, I guess no experience is wasted experience? 
Mini adventures along the way...! I like that way of thinking!!!