Hi! I have a question about strokers. I recently discovered Lovehoney and have been having a ton of fun getting stuff for myself and for both of us. I felt a little guilty about getting a second vibe for myself (why should I have all the fun) and wanted to get something for the man that I could also use on him, so I got a Tracey Cox Supersex Stroker, the pink jelly one. He liked the feel of it, but I haven't really figured out how it works yet.
My man isn't cut, and it seems like this is a problem when using the stroker. He's the only partner I've ever had (and vice versa), so we've worked out what works for each other pretty darn well. It's frustrating to be clumsy and even though it made us laugh, I just wanted to give him a nice time! However, this is something new and the instructions were quite vague. It wouldn't stay on, even though it and he were well-lubed, and I couldn't keep his foreskin back while handling the stroker as well. It might just have slipped and shot a foot or two to the other side of the bed... I was using Liquid Silk, which works fine for my Kegel toner and my own solo sessions, but it seemed like it dried right up this time. No good! There is also some leftover room at the end since it's quite long. Am I suppose to fold it back so it's as long as he is?
On the bright side, he loves the Lovehoney pocket vibe, and I've never seen him move around so much as he did when I stroked him with one hand and held the vibe at the base of the shaft with the other. Who'd have thought such a little thing would be so great for both of us? And what else should I try? Anal stuff isn't really interesting to either of us and neighter of us are really dying to try it, so that's out.
I bought the same toy for myself last week and its a great sensation thou there is a knack to using them, would imagine its even harder if you trying to use it on your partner. The main problem is too much lube, cock either wont slide in or it keeps sliding out. I have found what works best is just a little lube inside the toy before using it none on the penis. If you have a toy thats open at the top can always use a little more once cock is inside. Good luck!!
I am not 100% sure I understand what is causing the problem, but maybe I can help by explaining from the perspective of a woman who uses quite a lot of these strokers on my guy:
I don't own the Tracey Cox stroker, so I just went and watched the video on it and some things jump out at me. This stroker is quite thin and extremely flexible. Now here is the first "problem" that I think you are having; inserting the penis. If you can imagine inserting his penis into a stroker like the Fleshlights, you can imagine that you will have very little problem. The reason why is because the material is thicker and the stroker is encased in a solid plastic tube, so the sleeve doesn't flop all about the place. Now, trying to insert a penis into a thinner, very flexible stroker is going to be much tougher. The sides of the stroker will fold, collapse and be pushed and pulled as he tries to slide in and so you have a lot less control over insertion.
Ideally you would choose a thicker stroker, or one made from firmer material, to make insertion easier and as a person with quite a lot of experience with strokers, I took one look at the Tracey Cox stroker and realised that it must be one of the hardest strokers to get inserted into. It is one of the thinnest and most stretchy. It won't be impossible, but I can imagine it will be more difficult to insert into in a 'normal' way (eg sliding it straight on to the penis) Instead, I recommend using fingers on both hands to pull apart the opening (fiddly with lube) and then pulling it on his penis like you would pull on a hat. Alternatively, you can roll back the stroker so that you turn half of it inside out. This will 'thicken' the stroker, making it less flexible. Insert just the very tip of his penis and then roll the sleeve onto his penis (similar to putting on a condom)
I also recommend if this really bothers you, to check out the Lovehoney strokers. These are slightly firmer and thicker and you can insert the penis much easier. Example:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22078
I can understand the difficulty in holding back his foreskin and putting this stroker on. As I desribed, this particular stroker is not the kind that you can slide the penis into easily (without stretching or manipulating the entrance while you slide him in) so it will be quite difficult to put this stroker on with one hand, while using the other to pull his skin back. The only thing I can suggest here is A) not pulling his skin back and just allowing the material to move his skin back during use. B) Asking him to hold his skin back while you use both hands to apply the sleeve to his penis or C) Buy a thicker, less flexible stroker.
Moving onto use. Once the stroker is on the penis, you never let go of it. Instead you use it to masturbate him. (Imagine masturbating him normally, the up-down motion of your hand. You want to recreate that movement by wrapping your hand around the stroker and sliding it up and down his penis.) If you let go, it is likely to pop off (Not all strokers will ping off, but remember this one is thin and flexible and lightweight) So you just want to hold it and slide it up and down. It can take a little bit of practise to get used to doing this with a stroker in place.
It is entirely up to you whether you let some of the remaining sleeve dangle from the end of his penis, or pull it all on, so that it kinda bunches up. If you do it the first way, the floppy end will wiggle and jiggle about during masturbation, which can either be a non issue, or it can put you off your rhythm. The second way (bunching it up) might require you to hold it with two hands instead of one, because it might be too thick to grasp in one hand and you might struggle to control it.
With flexible (non cased) strokers, they can be more difficult to control, but they also have advantages like being able to squeeze and add pressure to certain areas of the penis during use. I recommend experimenting using one hand, both hands and trying the bunching up technique. When this sleeve is on, you are probably going to have to hold onto it the whole time, as it is likely to slide or ping off if you don't. Once you master the up-down movement, you can even begin to try different movements, like 'screwing' it around his penis (instead of up-down, twisting the sleeve so it circles round his penis) Take it slower at first until you get used to holding it, because at first, they can feel a little clumsy and make you feel like you cannot control it, but with practice, you eventually learn the best ways to grip it and how to move it.
One tip: Continue to use lube (it will be uncomfortable without, for him) but keep a towel handy to wipe away any lube on your hands before you grip the outside of the sleeve. You need to maintain some level of friction, so that you can have a firm grip on the outside of the sleeve. If you try to use this will lubey hands, it will be very difficult indeed. So try to avoid getting lube on the outside, or on your hands.
All the best.
Thank you! It seems so clear now. I think next time I will try folding it over a bit, and will definitely wipe off my hands. I think all our lubes are water-based at the moment; our favorite is Sliquid Organics because it doesn't dry out immediately. We've tried a bunch of special-effect lubes with varying degrees of success.
I know plenty of people like Fleshlights and that it's entirely a personal hangup of mine, but I feel kind of weirded out by them. I wanted to give hubby a similar experience, though, since it's something he's never tried, and this one was satisfactorily 'abstract'. Even for myself, I don't find realistic vibes all that attractive- hubby's package is really the only one I have any interest in seeing! I'm also anticipating that two-hand will be necessary anyway; he's well-enough endowed that my hand doesn't entirely wrap around him anyway. He does fit inside the stroker, but it seemed well stretched when I got it on him.
I think next time will also require more of a team effort- I was trying to give him some special attention today because I'm out of commission, so to speak. He certainly doesn't seem to mind that time of the month so much, because my drive is just as high as normal and I'm usually more focused on giving him as much as I can. Today was a bit of a dud at first, but I immediately got on here afterwards because I want next time to be better.