Using toys on a partner?

I only started using toys during lockdown but I have become a big fan of them in the the few months! They have been for my own use so far and my boyfriend hasn’t really seen them but I would love for him to use my dildo on me and am wondering if this is OK? Should I just ask? I’m hoping he won’t be offended at all or think it’s weird but it’s something I would really like to do.

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I doubt he will be offended, it is all about communication, possibly discuss it first about what you like and the fact that you wish to introduce toys into your love making.

I am not sure about the line that men see them as a threat, replacement or a statement that they aren’t good at what they are doing, unless they are very insecure.

Introduced in the correct way I am sure that you will both have fun

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Speaking as a guy who loves doing this. I very much doubt he’ll be offended. More likely you won’t be able to react quick enough to him throwing you to the bed!

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I love using toys on my wife and she loves using them on me. Since I’m caged full time almost all of our sexual activities involve the use of toys on ourselves or on each other.

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I just bought another vibrator to use on my wife. I’ve used toys on her for years and love it. It’s a huge turn on for me. Tell him how much you want him to do it. I’m sure he’ll love it

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Being male I can say it would be a great turn on if my wife as.ked me to assist her. Bring it on

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It’s definitely a thing. :slightly_smiling_face: Did you buy him the Fleshlight in the end? If you did you can use that on him too. :+1:

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We use toys on each other all the time, definitely not weird. When I’m the sub I’m not released until I’ve had at least one orgasm which for us requires toys.

I love the surprise of a new toy being introduced. Good luck.

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As long as you don’t just whip it out and say “Fancy a go?” I’m sure it will be fine. (Although that works sometimes.)

Seriously though, I’d just bring it up as a casual conversation. Ask him how he feels about sex toys, maybe he already owns some of his own.
If he’s open to the idea then it can lead to some pretty sexy foreplay if you are both into the idea. Sexy messages etc.

Most important thing though is the communication. No-one likes being suprised in the bedroom with something they may not be into so just float the idea out and see what he says.

I’m sure you’ll be pleasantly pleased with the answer. :slight_smile:

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I love my hubby using toys on me and he loves doing it

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We did look at Fleshlights together a couple of months ago and he ordered one. He says he’s been using it now and again but has to be discreet cleaning it up.

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Why? This sounds like he’s ashamed of you knowing that he’s used it. Having privacy for “me time” is one thing, and fair enough; feeling he needs to hide the fact from you is not good - IMHO this is an inhibition the two of you need to work together to break down.

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Yeah, I find with those the clean up can often take longer than the wank. :slightly_smiling_face: They do feel good though. Do you think he’d like the idea of you using it together? If you’re a little hesitant to ask him about using your sex toys on you, asking to use his on him may be easier? There are also lots of vibrators you can use as a couple (eg. LH Mini Wand), which can be a lot of fun. :+1:

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I think he lives with his parents. :+1:

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Guy here - I don’t think you should worry too much. If you just bring up toys in general, and from there mention you’d like to try having him use some on you then I can’t see how that could go wrong. From personal experience using toys on a significant other has been one of my favourite things to do!

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There’s also a LH guide on How to Introduce Sex Toys into a Relationship with a few tips in. :+1:

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Yeah using toys on a female is a right turn on. I love the wife sucking me while she has a dildo in her and plays with herself. I’m sure he won’t be offended. Just don’t spring it on him, talk about toys and how he feels about them.

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Hey @newbiejen - welcome to the world of sex toys. Glad you’re having fun! It is absolutely okay to want that and to bring it up with your partner, and sharing fantasies can often lead to lots of pleasure!

Introducing sex toys with a partner can be really tricky though, and their response usually varies depending on how they view sex toys and any prior experience. However, I would definitely recommend introducing them as it opens up a world of possibilities and pleasure. The overwhelming response on here is always going to be “go for it!” as people on here obviously have experience of using toys, but it’s important to be aware that unfortunately not everyone will have this mindset, and I guess just being mindful of that in how you approach the subject so it doesn’t get shut down straight away!

I put some suggestions in this thread about how to broach conversations - the focus here was more on kinks however most are still relevant :blush:

As another suggestion, do you ever do mutual masturbation together? This could be a good way of showing him how much you enjoy using your toy (and will also show him how you like it to be used). If he seems into it then you can always ask him to take over the actions :blush:

Good luck!

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Good communication is the first and best step @newbiejen :+1:

We use toys a lot and I enjoy using them on my OH, gives me a rest for a bit or an added play