As a postmenopausal woman of 59, i suffer with vaginal dryness despite using hrt pessaries. Also i dont have any natural lubrication despite being very turned on with my new man, which i put down to a side effect of many years on anti depressants! So i have to use lube but this makes things feel looser and he keeps slipping out, ive tried to use the smallest amount possible, but if i dont reuse any and we continue, i have terrible soreness and irritation the next day. Im worried as ive had 3 children and am overweight that i already feel loose and hes not satisfied, i do my pelvic floor exercises ( when i remember!!).
Any ideas to help?
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Read your post and the last few lines were concerning in how you sees yourself, never mind the sex element.
You need to go easy on yourself and learn to admire yourself for what you have achieved bring three souls into this world.
I am sure that your partner loves you and would horrified the way you are talking about yourself.
Perhaps discuss how you are feeling with a medical professional and see what advice they can offer to deal with the dryness.
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Have you tried vagisan cream for vaginal dryness?
I suffered the same and i had to use lube.. I also suffered with micro tears inside which causes me to bleed very slightly (vaginal atrophy) I would also get very sore and uncomfortable. I now use a red light device in the downstairs department, which has worked wonders for me no more soreness and if used right it tightens you up and you produce more of your own natural lube. I still use some lube now just to make sure. I am 65 never used hrt and have a great sex life (well not at the moment as recovering from cataract surgery). 
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Thanks for your reply, what is a red light device? Sounds like could be just what i need!
Hi,and thanks for your reply. I have tried it but didnt find that helpful but maybe didnt give long enough. I use YES VM Which helps a bit. I think i need to discuss increasing the dose of estradiol pessaries im using as i was led to believe that on its own should help.
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Thank-you and your reply really resonated with me beause i have a terrible body image. Worried about belly etc, yet no disrespect to my man hes no greek god lol and i would be horrified if he spoke about himself in the same way. Im convinced hes going to find some slimmer model!im hard on myself in general not just in this respect.
I really hope nobody misinteprets my post as “body shaming” because i definitely am not!! And can see beauty in all different shapes and sizes. Im just talking about how i personally feel and i feel better slimmer but seems very hard to achieve atm!
Its called joy-lux and you can find it online. I hope that is ok to name it. It is expensive (cost ÂŁ249) and you have to use it pretty much ever other day for about 12 weeks but i found i felt a difference after about 3 weeks. I still use it twice a week.just to keep things good. Remember when using it you have to tighten up, clench the device and release each session takes between 6 to 10 minutes depending at what stage of the treatment you are doing. It has the red light technology, vibration and heat treatment. It can feel hot but its ok.
My partner is going through the menopause and she has to be either very turned on or we use lube and I can be painful for her. That is another reason why it doesn’t happen very often!!
Yeah defo worth having a look into and seeing if upping the dosage will have any impact. The trickiest part is that everyone is all different so can be fiddly discovering what best works for one person…