So I have several questions about my anatomy, but the only one I can explain easily is this one:
Be me, with water based lubricant and a vibrating egg (calexotics rigged g), 3.5” (9 cm) by 1” (2.5 cm) according to internet. I can put that in my vagina easily, just I can’t push it any further because of something I’d rather draw a scheme to explain, if I could draw that, but that’s not the point (well, maybe it is one problem, but not the one I’m talking about in this topic); when fully inserted it slowly gets out, faster if I push with my muscles, still not the problem. It doesn’t do much to me, even with vibration and sliding it in and out, I’m just feeling it’s there but it doesn’t do any good, I’d rather do the washing up because that at least would be productive, you know.
Then be me, bought a very classic cheap dildo, never grown to like it, is taking dust. Don’t even remember the brand.
Though I got a IUD (the placement was painful, the speculum was placed wrong and the gynecologist didn’t believe me, said I shouldn’t squeeze my ass (they weren’t, they were relaxed but she didn’t believe it either), my next gynecologist said my body was normal, my OH who has had 4 partners before hasn’t tried penetration with me (with them yes) but they said my body looked pretty normal. So I don’t think it’d be vaginismus. And I’m not very eager to see yet another gynecologist after that first one. I’m thinking of buying one of those “sex enhancing” products like arousing gels and stuff but I doubt that’s the problem.
The gynaecologist telling you that you are normal, has exasperated by your frustration. While you have only shared one of your concerns, are the others linked together and making things worse. Is your OH understanding your situation and being supportive, is this a new relationship (no penetration), do you have anxiety interfering with your relaxation and wellness.
My OH has not been successful in achieving when she has used an egg, just discomfort, as with all toys, they don’t work for everyone.
I would recommend this as a possible help…
I would also try to have penetration from your OH, and / or play together with no expectations, let the mood and enjoyment lead…, if this isn’t successful it will give another discussion with the gynaecologist/doctor towards an acceptable solution.
I hope you find a solution soon.
My gynecologist hasn’t seen my frustration. My OH is currently “maybe temporarily ace” so I can only explore that alone, I have never been penetrated by anything else than my fingers, the first toy I’m mentioning and that cursed speculum (in order). My other problems will be dealt later I hope. The items you’re listing are damn expensive and I don’t know about that, point is small sex toy goes in, new sex toy is blocked, what I expect from that set is that some will go in without any trouble and the bigger ones will block [edit: no, the thickest one is just as thick as my damn egg, so there’s literally no point in not using the egg to “get used to the penetration”] , but won’t fix anything. Might as well keep using the toy I already have.
Hi @Cuberdon. I hate gynaecologists and examinations by doctors, it felt like a violation of my body. They all said i was perfectly normal but to me it felt like i was hitting a wall when inserting things. I didn’t even believe that i had a vagina at one point. I now see a physiotherapist who specialises in pelvic floor conditions, she is helping me to overcome my issues but doesn’t force me to have examinations etc. The problem turned out to be a combination of vaginismus caused by pelvic floor tightness (apparently some people hold their stress and tension in their pelvic floor muscles in the same way that others get stiff shoulders / neck), and a nerve condition also caused by the tight pelvic floor muscles pressing on the pudendal nerve which causes a sensation of a blockage or lump in the vagina. My progress is sporadic due to the issues mentioned in my other thread but the stretches, relaxation and massage has helped a lot, even when i’m unable to insert anything. I would suggest looking for a women’s health physiotherapist (there are some on the NHS but mainly private unfortunately) (also ironically and annoyingly named considering my other thread about gender issues- i imagine from your profile that you probably feel the same way). I explained on day one that i am very uncomfortable with discussions around being a woman, pregnancy, babies etc and the physio was very understanding. If you wanted to keep experimenting with toys then i’d suggest something slim and short but with a curve to hit your g-spot in the hope that you get more from it than you do with your egg. I’m out at the moment so i can link to the toy i’m thinking of when i get home
I would strongly urge you to think again about the dilator set. I lost my sex drive for more than 10 years and when it came back I found I could no longer get anything with a girth of more than 3 inches in. I got a dilator set that is now out of stock, that only had the two largest sizes, and worked with them. Among other things, I slept with the dilator in overnight for several nights, first the smaller of the two, then the larger of the two. After that I started working with the larger one to loosen this tight ring of muscles at my vagina entrance. This meant moving to around in circles and forward and back, and side to side. You can’t do either of those things with the egg because once it’s in it is no longer in contact with that ring of muscles, which are the big problem. By now (after close to a month) I can get in items with a girth of 4.5 inches, after just a few minutes of loosening with the large dilator, and am ready to start working on 5 inches. If you want more detail about what I did, I wrote long descriptions in the when did you last masturbate thread.
The toy that i liked when i was in the might mindset was this one. I also found a small inflatable dildo helpful. This one is tiny but inflates to a decent size. You could try using something like that before attempting to use your new toy? (Yes, it’s not the prettiest toy in the world but it works well. It’s made of latex so if you’re sensitive you might need to use a condom over the top)
the first one you mention, I have something like that but with the harness for the same price in another store in my wishist. I thought “maybe I’ll never use it on my current partner, but who knows and it’s very cheap”. Now for the inflatable, I’m not comfortable at all with the idea of an inflatable toy.
I don’t know much about your vagina or the problems you’re experiencing but I would say Fun Factory toys are way harder (in my experience) to get in than ANY others I’ve used. The silicone is incredibly grippy and while most of my vibes I don’t need any lube at all my Fun Factory Stronic Thrusting Vibe (though a different one to yours) needs soooo much lube and constant reapplying!!! I think you would probably be fine with a lot of other similar sized toys if the egg goes in without a problem.
it’s not a matter of lube I think, I applied plenty and it felt like the skin there was stretched at its max. I did stimulate myself beforehand with the doxy so unless I’m missing something (like what is “stimulated enough”? I came (which is already a whole battle), shouldn’t that be a good indicator?), I should be ready to go. That said, I’ll probably go for a glass and/or steel toy next time, I got a silicone based lube for free that I still had no occasion to try.
My point was simply that Fun Factory toys are probably the hardest to insert of any silicone toys as any friction will make everything feel a lot tighter so just because you struggle with this one doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or that you would struggle with something different. You’ve just jumped in at the deep end in terms of toys.
I bought a whole set of kegel balls that look similar to these ones , except it also has a one ball support, but I can’t get past the same area as for the stronic. In the same order I got myself a 3 inch circumference dildo (so that’s pretty much like a dilator) and it has no problem going all the way in and I can keep it in during my whole night. But it doesn’t seem to do anything to make that area loose.
