Valentine's Day poems with a subversive twist?

Sex Tips & Talk
1

The hubby recently wrote me a "romantic" poem, supposed to be for Valentine's Day, but he finished early... insert own smutty humour here! ;-) It was meant half-jokingly, but I loved it, and posted it on our blog with some suitably saucy photos. But, it highlighted to me that I've got no interest in the typical sickly-sweet verses you find in highstreet Valentine's Day cards, and I really like the way he's written something that's sort of a romantic poem, but it's also got a bit of a subversive twist, and of course the spanking references were always bound to go down well with me!

Anyway, the point of my question here - does anyone else enjoy writing Valentine's Day poems for their other half, and would you like to share one? Or, feel like taking up the challenge of giving it a try? ;-) Here's ours to start the topic off...

"Don't Give Me Roses"

================

It's that time of the year when lovers decide,

To send gifts and cards so their love's verified.

But flowers and chocolates won't do it for me,

I'm a girl who is sassy and bratty, you see.

Bend me over your knee - I'm glad to obey,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

--

If you must give a gift to your Valentine crush,

Please let me suggest a flat wooden hairbrush.

Invite me to bend for the long wooden spoon,

You can play on my bottom a brisk drumming tune.

My cheeks will be pink as a pretty bouquet,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

--

You can decide if you're hanky or panky,

Provided you give me a jolly good spanky.

Pull down my panties and toss them aside,

Paddle or ruler? That's yours to decide.

A warm stinging bot is my favourite foreplay,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

--

I can dress up for you - I'll give it a whirl,

A nurse, or a maid, or a naughty schoolgirl.

I might like to pout, but I won't contradict,

If you are the teacher, delightfully strict.

I'll lay on your lap while you're spanking away,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

--

Excitement will swell as my spanking commences,

My bottom is bared, I've let down my defences.

Impacts send shudders through each bottom cheek,

You turn up the heat with erotic technique.

And upon my behind I feel your palm play,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

--

Then when it's all over you'll cuddle me tight,

My body awash with a tingling delight.

I hope you have shared in my sensual pleasures,

Kinky fulfilment beyond normal measures.

Yet already I'm longing for more time to play,

So don't give me roses on Valentine's day.

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Haha I like that! Can't imagine it'd be on a card in a regular shop though!

It takes all sorts though so I'm sure there are people who would prefer something other than the usual stuff or would rather write their own. I don't know what I'd have as it would depend upon the recipient but I'd write my own as it'd be fun and a lot more personal.

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Thank you SteamyBedtime.... if my wife sees that poem she will want to know why I don't write her poetry ![](upload://f8zGclFeQx35HwZLqJ7J1rFzQ0n.gif) - it's a good read though ![](upload://h7LJ67OOrR57VDYrj5ZEwwHAfLG.gif)

So here's a limmerick, basically because i'm too lazy to put pen to paper in such a lengthy and commited fashion:

There was a young lady called Slater,

Who was a very avid masturbater.

She went shopping with Lovehoney,

And spent lots of money,

And told her man "see you later!".

4

The best one I ever heard was

Shall I compare the to a summers day

or shall I whop it us you straight away.

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Great poem well done.

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Thank-you all for the feedback. I personally liked it, but I guess it might not be quite what the highstreet mainstream card shops are looking for, yet!

And thanks for the couple of suggestions... you can't beat a good dirty limerick! ;-) I'm reminded of this one:

--

There was a young girl called Bianca,
Who slept while her ship lay at anchor.
She awoke with dismay,
When she heard the mate say:
‘Hi! Hoist up the top sheet and spanker!’