So… really interested in a givers pleasure perspective on this… my partner and I were enjoying some porn together. We were watching an amateur couple on Lustery, the scene included a lot of deepthroating and gagging… which is something I know my partner does not like.
We ended up having a slightly heated discussion about gagging and deepthroating. I don’t enjoy anything in our sex life that is performative or not a turn on for both of us… and I wouldn’t find the video a turn off unless I felt the gagging was coerced. I do understand the turn on of power play … but my partner thinks I’m naïve and that women do not enjoy gagging or pushing themselves to that reflex point.
I certainly know that normalising this in mainstream porn is problematic as it without doubt leads to young women feeling pressure … is playing with gag reflex … is deepthroating a cock ever fun… but like so many things in sex … a little problematic and needs adult discussion? Or as my partner says … would men not think that if the roles were reversed and is it just problematic?..
Whilst I agree that porn can make people of all genders feel like what is shown on screen is what sex is supposed to be like, that doesn’t mean that no-one enjoys giving the acts depicted. I actually think being overly dismissive of what is shown in porn can be as damaging as allowing people to think what happens in porn is what everyone does in their bedroom. Ultimately what is needed is better education around porn rather than focusing on the rights and wrongs of the actual content.
However, back to what you actually asked. Deep throating to the point of gagging won’t be something everyone enjoys doing (and that’s fair enough), but I quite like giving a sloppy, deep, all consuming kind of blow job, taking as much of my partner inside me as I can. It may not give me any physical pleasure, but it does mentally arouse me.
There are lots of reasons why people can and do enjoy it though.
Deepthroating the dildo before she pegs me with it (and after when we’ve cleaned up) is something I’m practicing to achieve but at the moment I certainly don’t enjoy doing it to the point of gagging.
While I do have sub tendencies, personally don’t enjoy deepthroating to gagging or pain levels, I actually find it triggering (as I do with choking) due to previous assaults.
But I know some blow-job-givers do enjoy it, so it’s not a catch all.
I think the problem is with some videos like that the gagging and subsequent flem appearance, (sorry didn’t now how else to put it) is what they think viewers want, it’s the old horses for courses and you watch what turns you on, there will always be things you disagree on in your sexlife, just accept those and enjoy what you both like.
Oh and it is possible to deep throat without the gagging, my OH decided, and I must stress with no pressure from myself, to train her gag reflex and breathing so she could give deep throat without gagging, she did this without my knowledge so it was an amazing surprise when she first did it on my. She can hold me full in her mouth and touching her throat for at least a minute. There is no gagging,
My point is the gagging on these videos is there for “entertainment” because that’s what some people like to watch and there will always be people who don’t like it as with everything.
Every time I perform oral on him I would deepthroat him and make myself gag. I love to deepthroat him and get myself to that stage of gagging.
Deepthroating him often, I have learned to train my gag reflexes, and how to breathe with having pretty much all of him in my mouth.
Though not something I’d enjoy (as my partner once accidentally deep throated me to the point of almost gagging whilst I was restrained and it really sent me into a panic), I can get why some would like it. For me it’s a no, as is chocking, but my partner enjoys me chocking him occasionally. As others have said, you can train your gag reflex and some people have a very mild or no gag reflex, so really down to individuals. Like everything, they probably play it up in porn as it’s a specific subset so they want to draw people to their videos.
From a gay male perspective I’d say the pressure is very much the same in ways as many guys think unless your gagging on a big cock then anything less means your dick isn’t big enough and it can hurt their confidence…
Porn widely focuses on normalising the extreme practices for the purpose of targeting our primitive hormones and addictive mindset to want and indulge in more mainly to get us to eventually pay for viewing the full stuff on sites when the free clips no longer give us the rush fix we crave.
A side effect to this though of course is it gives people an unhealthy expectation of how sex should be.
The gagging you see in porn is a big turn off for me. However, an old girlfriend used to be able to deepthroat me and it was the best blow job I’ve ever had to this day. She teased me for ages that she could do it before proving it, it literally blew me away!
Deep-throating, gagging and yes, even vomiting (emetophilia) can be a sexual turn-on for some people. These are things I personally can only understand on a philosophical level, but don’t relate to from my own experience.
My wife really loves the idea of deep-throating, and has offered it a few times. But she’s also very concerned by gagging, vomiting, or causing herself an injury, so it’s a bit of an extreme rarity for us. Like the turn on of deep-throating is balanced against the downsides for her, and the downsides usually win.
I am still learning how to take the dildo in my mouth before she pegs me with it. I can get it to touch the back of my throat but I can’t seem to open my throat further to let it in.
When the first met my current gf years ago, she could barely take in two or three Inches before gagging. I don’t like watch a as woman gagging on my fatty so during blowjobs I barely ever move my hips. But when she came back into the area she found me again and we just started to get acquainted again. I was dating someone else when a year went by aged we went out. I was surprised that she took fat inch down her throat. She said she bought fatter and fatter dildos to try and deepthroat them. She also talked to some of her gay male friends for advice. She’s the only one ever that can deep throat my fatty. One other gal took enough that I could see her throat bulge out. That was a n incredible feeling
I try to take as much as I can but I have a terrible gag reflex and have to stop and use my hand for a minute or two to recover. If I gag too much I will be sick, hell I have thrown up just by my toothbrush going too far back and ended up losing my breakfast. When he does get a decentish erection I have to stop as it’s too much. My husband does not want to cause me any discomfort and sex is supposed to be about enjoyment and pleasure on both sides after all.
