Virgin and has never cum, would like some hint and tips.

Sex Tips & Talk
1

Hello I am a virgin and only in the last year have i started to try and being my self pleasuer. I am 23 and had yet to cum in my life. Sadly my one really boyfreind was not that good at getting the job done, and i seem to be just as bad getting my self there.

I have played with only two toys a bullet, which was cheap and broke with in a week, and a rabbit whcih lasted about the same time before breaking.

I was hoping that someone could mayb give me to tips into getting my self there, i seem to get to a point then over think it and loss it fast before getting there. well it is here or my orgaisum is not as great as people say they are *shurg*

as a student i dont have a lot of money, so can not get the more costly toys. so some ideas for cheap ones would be nice, for when i get some free money to buy them for my self.

As for what I like, clitoral stimulation is the main one i have tried and i really like it. right now i am froced to use a vibrating teethbrush as my other toys broke to try and get the job done but it dose not work so well :P. Penetration is nice to, but i dont really have anything to use for it, as my rabbit was not very good for that side of it, it hurt beacuse of a bit which was on it i beilieve it was a g spot thing, but all it did was annoy me more then anything. as for anal play i have only gone very little just my finguer in the shower or when i am playing with my self, but i seem to enjoy it and am looking to try more in that area,

so if anyone could give me any hints, tips of advise that would be a big help.

2

Firstly, relax! Don't over think, don't set out to achieve the orgasm, don't pressure yourself. Secondly, get to know yourself by hand first.
Next time you're in the bath or shower, explore yourself and see what feels good. Don't neglect other areas, try teasing/rolling your nipples or playing with your breasts as this can boost your arousal. You can use a warm flannel to rub against your clit as the material is better at stimulating than just your fingers.
The next best time to try is when you're in bed. Forget trying it on your back - flip onto your front, insert two fingers (I use the fingers between pointer and pinky) and once inside curve them slightly until you feel the flat smooth area inside (your g spot) and this will position you palm on your clit. Then just grind away. Your welcome 😋

Once you've got that down, you can start looking at toys!

3

I start off nice and relaxed when i try, but when i feel it building i start over thinking and wishing for it to come nothing i do stops my mind from working hehe :P

and i have tried the thing with my fingers on my g spot but it never seems to work, i try it a few ways but it ether hurts or i can not feel anything when i try. I also can not seem to both rub the g spot (or where i think it is) and use my palm on my clit as well i may be doing it wrong :P

4

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http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15120ww.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726

Hi and welcome...Have a look at these, I've no idea what your price range is, but you won't go far wrong with any of these. Relaxing is really where it's at to blow! Just let it go!

I've added two wands, I'm very into wands for clit stimulation, I have the big blue and it's been worth every penny spent honestly. That and a g spot of anal for myself! But there's a dill there also! You're bound to get a huge response on this at some point. I hope it helps x

5

Thanks i added them all to my wish list, so i can find them later when i have money :) my price range all changes it is all on how much i get paid from student fincese in april which is when i get paid for uni.

and relaxing seems to be my hard point or at less, it is half way throw i can not seem to stay rexlaed which seems to not help hehe :P

6

If you can't hit the g and clit at the same time, don't worry about it, just work the clit. I used to find that sometimes I needed complete oblivion - very dark room and silence - so that I could concentrate solely on the sensations. If you find yourself thinking on it, shift your focus to the sensations, block everything else out. As Ozz says, you just have to let it go. It's really not uncommon for women to struggle to orgasm, but mostly the problem is in our heads of not giving ourselves over to our bodies.

7

Over thinking is always normal. So it's not just you, so please remember that!. I've heard it all too often that we feel like we're going to pee if we let go! It's a similar feeling I guess!

But you just have to let go in the moment. What if you if you're alone or not! touch yourself on your breasts of just your skin in general! Sometimes diverting the mind to another sensual part can distract us enough and build more pleasure. I don't know what you do when masturbating and that's your business huni. But ty to look at it as an all over body experience, and just relax as much as you can. x Have fun!

8

Violetwolf - I am normally in the dark and it seems to work better when i have my eyes closed, if they are open i get side tracked by something. I am very easy to side track it is linked in with the fact I am dysicxes, and my mind moves at a fast pace, and never stops. but I can see what you are saying and I will give it a try :)

Ozz- hehe i over think everything, to tell you the truth the way it goes for me, is i get to this point where it all builds up and then i gasp and proof it is done nothing so joy no pleauser just gasp and done. so I an not sure if I have cum but i just dont feel a lot when I do but for a catch in bretah or if i am just not able to push my self past this point if you get what I mean

9

Okay...so have you felt down there for a dribble/gush/leakage/Sometimes we don't always orgasm that shows too....Does it feel like a release at all, I know you're descibing it as a " gasp" but I think you may be stopping at that point! I could be wrong, but when you orgasm it feels like everything that's pent up, go!I've never had a orgasm that quick but it's very probable too! but you would feel pleasure of that I'm very sure of, you would feel a release of pure pleasure no matter how small the orgasm.

I do get what you mean yes, I think you're losing it and are not able to regain it because I think you are thinking too much about it ha ha.

Try what I've suggested with all over pleasure, good lube might help too. We might be able to moist up darling but some extra never hurts! x

10

I sometime get a little wet but not always, but no i dont feel pleasuer more like my bretah is stealen and then i am abit breathles panting for a bit. I have like pluseing/throbing o i can not think of the word down there but that is it no pleasuer nothing :(

i have thought i was lossing it before i got there, but some people on another site have said i am just one of them woman who done have good climates which give pleasuer, and i have to deal with it.

and I will and yes i have some lube, one which "says" it is tingling lube not that it seems to work as it should i dont feel no tingling but it is still a ok lube.

11

When you rub on your clit, rub around the area. It sounds like you can get the sensation, just not the end point. Some weird tips I can give that work for me are to spread your legs as wide as possible, and try to keep them like that throughout. Consciously try to keep your lady muscles relaxed and also weirdly what works for me a lot is to kind of push your vagina out, like push the muscles out (what I would imagine to be in a "pushing to give birth" type way). If you're struggling to hold this and to keep focussed on sensations, a sexy way (if your fantasies are related to D/S in anyway ) of overcoming it is to close your eyes and imagine someone telling you must hold that position. It keeps your mind focussed on the task whilst also turning you on :)

12

Don't use that crap for now! You just need standadr silk lube! Regardless of what's happening, the good thing is you are in ontrol and know what buttons to push by the sounds of it, so that's brill. Throbbing can mean a lot of things ha ha. You could well be orgasming! It's something to uild on though, it all comes with experince to some degree too.

You're doing great. Talking is good too lol...

Sounds like you might be in for some fun times exploring!

13

popk1n - lol I am into d/s but never really done it my self, but i have had some daydreams about it and hell some of the books i dead would make a nun faint lol :P i find my self sometimes thinking of a male vioce telling me off for not doing as i am told when i play with my self, it works for a bit but i can never keep it going as i start paying to much attention on the feeling and forget to think about the vioce :P

and ya i do find keeping my leg wide helps and oddrly lifting much hips up in an angle which hurts after a bit but it seems to add to it all :)

ozz - hmm shoot that is all the lube i have, and i have no money right now to buy any more not been paid yet i will have to look into buying some when i get paid :)

and ya i am very open :P i roleplay a lot online so doing all the sex bits in the roleplay as made it easier for me to talk about my self, for other then trying it all my self, is the best way to learn and find ways to help talking to people who know more and have been there :)

and ya i am planning on getting a few funs things to try and help me get over that point, i find ti all great fun even with my toothbrush which is my replacement for my bullet which broke hehe lucky i had just bought it and read somewhere on like that it could work and throw hell why not :P

14

Without a doubt we'd say go for Cupid's Smoothie Vibrating Love Egg!!! We're also students so we know the drill; this is a fiver if you get it now and our first one lasted just over a year.

It's one speed, wired and super powerful, we only use this on the clit during sex or even just by itself and it never fails. We've had a more expensive egg and other toys but this is so much more powerful and is probably our most used toy now.

Since we first got this we've never used our bullet since as it doesn't come close in terms of power. My girlfriend has no problem orgasming from penetration during sex or 'hand work' but never has from doing so with toys, only when she uses them on her clit so mainly this and beign so basic it free's your hands to try other things while its going.

15

instead of lifting ylour hips, you could try putting a load of cushions underneath your bum so you;re not doing all the work?

16

FirstTimeLovers: thanks I will look into it and see about getting it and giving it a try :)
have never had sex i have no idea if i would cum from it or not, i have done very little with a guy or girl for that matter :P

Popk1n - o that is a good idea, i will give that a try thanks :D

17

Hello,

I used to have the same problem, but I realized recently that I did have few orgasms before joining LH, just did not know that was it, as they were really weak, so I did not realized that was it. However over time I got more orgasms, and they are now very easy to get.

My personal advice is the following:

1 Relax, do not focus on the orgasm. Just on the pleasure. Also part of the journey is being mentally aroused for me, so often I help myself either by reading an erotic book or at least having a fantasy, which really turns me on.

2 Take your time when playing. For me, it really helped having rechargeable vibrator, because I did not have to worry so much about constantly trying to buy batteries.

This one is now on sale for 10 pounds and seems to have good reviews. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30215

3 When buying from LH, do not worry about getting a toy, which you are not sure that it would do it for you. They offer great standard policy, you can return the toy if you really do not get along with it. And if it does break after a week, then they will really sort you out. Trust me.

4 Try kegal exercises. I know it may sound weird, but using kebal balls regularly, I found out that I can orgasm more easily and now can even have vaginal orgasms, not just clitoral. The kegal balls made me more aware of my female parts and possibly inside bit more sensitive. It may be just me, but it did work for me.

Try not to worry too much about it. It may be a long process but I am sure that you will manage to get there. Just enjoy and do not focus on your goal and you will see.

18

Hi,

Just an addition to what Laveila said. Please ensure that you are in the mood for pleasure and set the environment (or your room) nice with candles as an example. You could add, if you are ok with it, by putting your favourite porn or music on.

Short but I hope it helps.

19

Always keep an eye out on the deal of the day I bought a LH silencer 2.0 for about £8 first use medium speed at most and I gushed without even trying and I've gushed quite a few times using the basic dildo. I was also gifted a beautiful bit of glass from the sales and that's made me gush both times using it. I found it much harder to relax and let go without a toy. Clit stimulation always leads me to orgasm but you can also put vibes on there to get you going I've just purchased a mini wand as its only £10 and so many people swear by the wand collection so here's hoping it works wonders for me too

20

My first tip would be to put down the toys and get to know yourself better with your hands. Toys are great but I have found that knowing what I like helps guide how I use my toys to suit me best and helps me choose the best toys for my anatomy.

Explore your body. Treat masturbation as exploration rather than focusing on orgasm. The clit is the obvious place to start but there are many ways to touch it. Try anything and everything you can think of. Next up is the whole of vulva (including the labia). You'll probably find some points and ways of touching that feel good and that you haven't noticed before. Then there is internal stimulation. I'm a big fan of using fingers internally. You'll be able to stimulate your gspot and, with a bit of contortion and reasonably long fingers, you might be able to reach your A spot. Personally these are my favourite places but everyone is different so spend some time working out what you like. Once you know, you'll have a better idea of what to buy. If you love g spot stimulation, get a g spot toy. If you love a spot stimulation get a dildo with a slight curve or bulbous head. If you like stimulating the whole of the vulva, get a vibe that can cover a wider area like a wand.

The vulva and vagina aren't the only pleasurable areas. Breasts, and especially nipples, are the obvious one but you might have other areas that are sensitive so include your whole body.

I haven't read it but this book is on my Wishlist and might be helpful http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=34290