I have a boyfriend of a few months although I am still a virgin and have wanted to wait for the right time to lose it. I was 18 a few months ago and would like to to try a dildo or vibrator although I don't know if I should wait to have sex first before doing this. Is it OK to start using one before and could anyone recommend anything suitable?
Hi and welcome! First of all there is no reason why, as a virgin, you can't use a vibrator or dildo. I was a virgin when I started using toys (still am). Have you used any toys or masturbated at all before? You might want to start out with an external clitoral vibrator and then move on to a slimline internal vibrator. You are probably aware you might bleed a little when you first have something internal (although I didn't). Use lubes, make sure you relaxed and aroused and just explore. Be aware that the majority of ladies find it hard to orgasm from penetration alone and it takes some time to learn techniques and the spots that feel good so it might not actually do much for you to start with. I recommend I some kind of clitoral stimulation along with it either from a vibrator or fingers. Most importantly have fun!
Hello and welcome 🙂
Lovehoney have lots of guides and information about choosing and using all of their different toys but I thought you may find this one particularly useful -
https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/buyers-guide/how-to-choose-your-first-sex-toy/
I hope this helps. 🙂
Hello and welcome to you 'sammy-jo'! 😊
Lovely to meet you.
Some top-notch advice from 'AmyA', in fact I can't rate it enough!
Amy is correct in everything she says, I wouldn't change anything about that piece of advice! If it were me I'd follow exactly what she says with regards to feeling relaxed, aroused and having fun exploring too.
I would agree the most important thing is to use plenty of lube and also, ensure you are comfortable and have total privacy when you are practicing.
I'm not sure what other members on here think?...
I quite enjoyed the fact (although messy) that I bled a little on my first time as the guy knew I was a virgin when we had sex. It also made me feel that I was then a proper grown woman losing my virginity - even with the blood.
I think I always thought of a penis as being slightly softer than a sex-toy (dildo), even when erect. I was also concerned putting something inside me, before my first time, would be very painful?
Just some food for thought, it will be interesting to see what others' thoughts and/or experiences are with this.
Good luck to you 'sammy-jo', and ensure you are 100% sure and safe when you decide to have sex for the first time. It is important that it will be an enjoyable experience for you!
Best wishes,
Emerald. x
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AmyA wrote:
Hi and welcome! First of all there is no reason why, as a virgin, you can't use a vibrator or dildo. I was a virgin when I started using toys (still am). Have you used any toys or masturbated at all before? You might want to start out with an external clitoral vibrator and then move on to a slimline internal vibrator.
So thanks for the info. I have been masturbating for a while now and quite regularly so that was my reason for wanting a toy. I would like something for inside along with a vibrator for outside.
Hi Sammy-jo , if it's external and internal stimulation you want then I would highly reccomend a rabbit vibrator. You get the best of both worlds and i'm sure you won't be disappointed.
Hey sammy, I think as others have said you need to relax to start with and really have a look at what you really want. As a first toy I would always suggest a bullet or some type of clitoral vibe, just because this is less intimidating and a dildo doesn’t feel like a penis so can make sex seem a bit daunting as toys are generally harder and in most cases bigger. Using a dildo isn’t going to take your virginity and it really depends how you see the term, if you feel anything going In your vagina voids your virginity then a dildo will do this but personally I would say virginity is with you until you have an experience with another person. If I was to give you a great example of a first to E toy I would go for the following: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37282 I know it states it’s a slimline anal toy but smaller is better to start and work your way up, this is great for vaginal use too and with lube it will be more comfortable than one of the thicker toys.
Hey Sammy.
Everyone here has already given some pretty solid advice, so there isn't much more I can add other than, I was a virgin when I used my first vibrator. I obviously didn't push it all the way in due to being a virgin but you can enjoy lots of play... clit play for instance. That has nothing to do with your virginity with being on the outside of your body and most people, including me, can experience a full orgasm with this alone.
Good luck x