Well here I am on a forum for sex toys ect, because am going on about why my life sex life is shite ect ect. But I think the old and young have key things that we understand and frown about when it comes to sexual behaviour. Being young, yes we may be tight in the right places and be able to make pretend noices till the sun comes up. But I do feel no matter the generation, as women are sexuality is always deemed as wrong or to much, and I feel right now I am tackling between the two. "right I am attracted to him I must act like this is the best sex ever" and all your mates saw you grinding him into the pillar in the centre of the designated dancing area. Which means you must shag him not for your sexual satisfaction but to bow to his needs and to follow the cultural lead of being taken away. With no conversation or context for the situation being discussed between friends or pillar victim. But equally you have a lad who has got you flowers kisses your hand and treated you like such and angel (even though in a fight it would be you to throw the top punch). Yet still we must swoon and act that every precious touch is a gift from the gods and that our skin turns to gold just because he was kind and we cum frwhis very glance. But like many of my fellow clit born victims I feel like a wanker, I have been in love with a someone, but, I had no sexual satisfaction, although I was in love. But equally I have had one night stands from the shy glance telling all you need to know (E.G they said they will pay for food/uber, wahay) to something you didn't expect. I feel we are meant to be caught up in the passion of let's face it whatever the hell is going on... But honestly am just trying to pretend that am enjoying it equally to how much he is (slapping?/mowning) about it all. . As a women how do we explore are sexuality? with wanting an intermediate connection but equally not wanting to be used. If you have endured reading this hats of to you, but how do we as bi/gay/stg (sorry if I missed anything out add to the comments or message me will make an edit, apologies for ignorance) . Ahem sorry was finishing that last tad of hot chocolate because am swag like that. But the point remains I don't think that women are the problem am not writing this to come up with a solution but would be great to hear what you guys reakon. This isn't a slant against men (at this stage it's pretty tragic if you don't get that) but more of an observation of what men and women feel about this sort of experience. As a love honey community it would be great to hear some views and have some good chats. Honestly the reason I have been here for so long is that I have been a member for some time and the forum seems very sweet and supportive. Fucking hell good on you for reading to the end.
I'm not sure exactly what the question is (it's early for me), but I can see what you're getting at.
I think you're right that society puts a lot of pressure on women to behave a certain way sexually. The trick to a good sex life is to ignore all that social pressure, if you can.
You never owe anyone sexual contact, no matter what they do or what your friends expect of you. Just have sex with the people you really want to, the people you're attracted to or have a connection with.Finally, don't fake pleasure for the benefit of someone else's ego. I know it can be tricky, but in the long run you won't be doing them any favors by pretending something they do works for you when it really doesn't. To be honest, sex with someone new is usually mediocre for me, it's only when I've communicated what feels good, and taken control / responsibility for my own orgasm that the sex gets better. It took me a while to be able to build up the confidence to do that (I wrote a blog post about this if you'd be interested).
Anyways, I hope this is somewhat helpful and that you enjoyed your hot chocolate :)Well put Jezabell It's an age old problem. And it takes some self knowledge and confidence to be able to behave as we feel, not as we're expected to behave. I agree too that the first time with someone new isn't usually the best. It takes time to grow into one another, and honesty with ourselves and them about what's good, what feels right. It took me a long time to be able to say that I rarely orgasm. I get higher and higher, and can go on for hours, but orgasms mostly elude me. But faking orgasms is no fun. That kind of deceit just puts a barrier between me and my lover. And it's a life long battle, with society, with the expectations of friends and partners, for women to behave as we feel. And no doubt it will go on for many more generations. It's a political act for us to be true to who we are sexually. And it's a journey of self discovery. And (and this is the reward) men find us so much more interesting when we stick to who we are and are true to our feelings. Keep exploring yourself Jade. Keep finding the inner strength to be who you are, not who you're expected to be. If we fulfil peoples expectations, nothing will change.
Hopefully you don't mind a man getting involved in this conversation.
As has been said, the first time you have sex with someone isn't always going to be the best and sometimes it takes practice, taling and getting to know each other better before things get better.
However I would be kind of unhappy if I thought that I wasn't pleasing the woman I was with and would prefer her to be truthful with me rather than pretending to be happy. If I am not doing something right tell me.
Hopefully I haven't misunderstood the post and made a fool of myself! 