Just looking for a bit of advice really, ever since hubby started WFH (Working From Home) at the start of lockdown, sex and masturbation seems but a distant memory. Okay, so it’s not quite that bad and we do still have sex (on average once a week), but I do have the higher sex drive and I do masturbate probably 2-3 a week on top. When I’ve got purple ovaries, I’m cranky, unproductive and generally not fun to be around. My getting things done tends to depend on my getting off first
Before lockdowns and WFH, I used to start my day off with an orgasm, if I wanted one. Now that hubby WFH too and works from our bedroom, I can’t really be getting off on the daily while he’s trying to work. We live in a small one bedroom flat, so that leaves me with the living room - where the dog sleeps/is - or the bathroom, which is small, cold and uncomfortable. I’ve used the bathroom once or twice in a “needs must” situation, but it’s not somewhere anyone would routinely want to make love to themselves, it also tends to make it quite hard.
Evenings tend not to work: The dog sees me as pack leader and will harass hubby if I’m not around, which means I have to sit out and play mediator to keep the peace. I can’t really abandon hubby during our TV time because I want to get off, and it’s unfair to badger him if he’s not interested.
Hubby is a workaholic, as much as I wish he wouldn’t. We’ve been stepping up the intimacy lately with more date nights/cuddles, which I hope will improve things, but I need to fix my own problem, too.
I’m slowly going insane with repeated frustration and it is affecting my marriage - we need a solution, and fast. I’d welcome your thoughts. Thanks all
Are you looking for suggestions on increasing sex, or locations for masturbating?
If the latter then can I suggest going ‘for a walk’ to (insert excuse eg clear your head / get fresh air etc) and find somewhere private to do it? Obviously I have no idea where to you live to determine how feasible this may or may not be
Moreso the latter. I think the increased sex may happen with increased intimacy, maybe.
There is a woods near me but it backs onto a school and a community centre. Kinky though I may be, I’ve ruled out ever doing anything there for presumably all too obvious reasons. Other than that, I’m sure nobody wants me sorting myself out on their driveway
Do you have a car? Go for a drive, find somewhere quiet and go for it.
Alternatively, inform your husband that you need to sort yourself out in the morning and so there are no Teams calls before 11:00am.
Or a third option would ne to call his boss, inform him or her that you feel that in the case of your husband, a hybrid working model would be more productive. At least that would give you a couple of days a week.
Trouble is he has a schedule too so he can’t be away too long as he has to get back for lunch (literal lunch, not a euphemism ).
It’s an ongoing problem, but yeah, today is one day of the days of this problem (“I swear we haven’t had sex in like, ever [it’s literally been a week ]”). To make it worse, I have to put up with the England VS Netherlands game and his Dad tonight, who I invited over to collect some tropical fish from me. Whoever i did wrong, I’m really sorry
I don’t drive, I’m prone to dizzy spells so I don’t have a licence on health grounds.
The no Teams calls would be one idea but I don’t think he gets to schedule them, they’re more “this is when they are, be there”, at least as far as I understand.
The hybrid working would be another idea but I can’t see him agreeing to it. Pretty sure that in a battle of wills, his lay-ins would win over my orgasms, annoyingly.
Poor you! I have a similar situation with my husband working from home all the time. I’ve managed to convince him to go in to the office a bit more often but it’s a bit difficult if he doesn’t want to. Might he be able to work in a coffee shop or take his laptop outside somewhere?! It wouldn’t work for me but lots of people work from my local coffee shop so it clearly works for some people!
You know in the moments of insanity is when pure genius is born?
is sounding like a damn good idea!
Off-topic here, but it reminds me of when we scattered my father’s ashes at sea and it was windy. I joked that we could lower his urn from his fishing rod into the ocean, rather than risk any, erm, blowback, and my mother and brother actually thought it was a genius idea. Sometimes the crazy minds are the best minds
I’m sorry to hear about your situation though, I have a similar problem with my poly partner. 200 miles can feel like a considerable distance when we both want to do unspeakable things to one another
Hmm, that’s definitely an idea. Thankyou for sharing
The irony is he used to joke about writers like me working from cafés - “important blogger people” he calls us, because we like to go to the café and “pretend” to do “important blogger stuff”. So it feels like a bit of sweet karma to send him to the café so I can have my orgasms back!
Another random thought - is your living room usable if the dog was out? If so, could you afford a dog walker once or twice a week? I think there’s even a free version of this called borrowmydoggy.com or something like that, it’s a site where dog lovers who can’t have a dog borrow a dog from busy people who need a dog sitter.
