Ok so its a long title but you will soon get the picture.
My partner of 25 years was brought up by parents who always dodged talking about sex and even if they did talk it was always very very vanilla and was only to be used to make babies.
I have over the years tried talking with my OH to find out exactly what she liked. Most of the things she had never tried and I think over the years we have tried many many things yet she still has a hang up when voicing how she feels about things.
One example is giving oral. She said it was not something she enjoyed and just did not want to do it. Fair enough I know it’s not for everyone and although I missed it I was happy we did other stuff. However she did at the start slowly working her way downwards(I am talking a number of years here). I remember the first BJ like it was yesterday and I was more than happy to say it was great. I did tell her and told her how amazing it felt. Again over a couple more years she did it more and more to the point that now she when she does start playing her body language changes, she acts a lot more sexy, gets very wet and usually wants a vibrator using on her while she is busy seeing to me. She usually will not stop until she has cum.
The second thing is anal. This was such a dirty thing to her that she would not even entertain the thought of it. Until she fell pregnant with our second child. Again I remember the night very well we were just laying there spooning and she had me in her hand, I was pleasuring her with a rabbit vibe and she moved me in between her cheeks. Slowly she started pushing backwards until I entered her and kept pushing and pushing until i had fully entered her.
A couple of days later it happened again and again. Yet she still thought it was dirty and not to be talked about. Even to this day she still says the same yet when I ask if she wants anal she always says no but if we start getting it on and I reach for the lube there is never anything done to stop it. I usually lube her up and then she will grab hold of my manhood and start rubbing it on her bum then start pushing backwards slowly until I am fully inside. Again I love the way she acts when she does this.
I believe that my OH still has the “sex is dirty” lectures still in here head (We are both in our 50’s btw) but when she lets go its amazing! My question to you is What do you think your OH doesn’t quite tell the truth about sexually? or what do you not quite tell your OH about sexually?
Penetrative sex (me in her) has all but disappeared from our relationship and although it has been replaced by a huge variety of other sexual acts which we both enjoy immensely I am going to have to tell her, in the very near future, that I miss the intimacy of anal sex.
At the moment I am still pretending that I don’t miss it but in truth I really do.
I have seen many many of your posts and although you seem to be very active and enjoying yourselves. You are a better person than me as I could not go without PIV/PIA. As you said its the intimacy that you so not always get from other acts.
Not so much a case of my Mrs not telling the truth about things related to sex, but what I do tend to find is more of a reluctance to ever talk about it outside the bedroom. When I bring it up casually or asking about preferences, it’s kind of met with her brushing it off and changing the subject quickly. We have a reasonable sex life which I have gradually brought a few new toys and ideas into, but it’s kind of brushed off as if it didn’t even happen 5 mins after. Been together 12 years and it was quite rampant (as many relationships are) in the early stages. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s fantastic when we are getting down to it. As much as conversations about it have to potential to be awkward, I am still keen to learn, explore and chat about what could make it go for good to awesome…
very similar to what kind of thing I was trying to say. The conversations if they happen say one thing but the actions and mood say something entirely different if you know what I mean.
My wife grew up in a very strict catholic household and sex was never ever brought up, but she is the total opposite.
She was a virgin when we started going out but was very interested in having a sexual relationship after we started going out. When first giving bjs she would not swallow, more because she wanted to watch me cum, and like to see my cock shoot. Then she started swallowing soon after. She initiated anal, cum sharing, me cleaning her up and after 20 years of marriage pegging. With family and in public she is very conservative and innocent looking, but in the bedroom she has always known what she has wanted and not shy about asking for it. I think her upbringing made her want sex more than her feelings guilty about sex.
I’m pretty sure my GF doesn’t admit to anything near what her partner count actually is. Not that I want to know or need to know…her business. The way she talks, you’d think it was just a very few. But knowing her libido and how attractive she is to other girls, I would suspect it is way higher. Hundreds, quite possibly.
I think that could also go both ways, my last partner thought I had been with loads of women because the way I talked, but infact before her it was only one other person. It’s just we were very active and always thinking of things to do and we were open to each others suggestions.
My OH had a lot of secrets that she didn’t tell her ex, and that made her life hell. First thing we did when we got together was tell each other everything that we had done in our lives. Makes your life so much easier having the trust in each other.
Partner counts are/could be a relationship ender. I had a 3 year relationship end because I had slept with 2 more people than my at the time partner. Once that happened I always made sure of 2 things and made them clear when entering a relationship. 1) The past is the past and that is where it stays. 2) I will never marry you.
I have been with my current partner for almost 25 years now and stuck to these 2 rules lol.
@TinyTom I can’t imagine ending a relationship that’s going well over a partner count. But, I definitely agree it is better for the past to remain in the past. I suspect that’s mostly up to me in my relationship, simply choosing not to investigate or ask questions she’d feel obligated to answer (or lie about). Actually, there’s a lot about her past I don’t ask about, I just have the basic understanding that she’s been through some REALLY dark stuff. We’ve never had a conversation about any of this, just something understood and unsaid.
I was clear, however…that when she got me, she got me for life. I don’t do temporary, so there’s no getting rid of this pest
