What it is to be a Domestic Dominant?!

Sex Tips & Talk
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I seem to have dragged a turn of phrase out of the murky quagmire of my brain.

I don’t know if it’s just my advance years or just sheer dumb luck but with no real entries on this forum. It gives us all the perfect opportunity to define the condition, role and nature of being a Domestic Dominant

I have an idea of it I believe there are a lot of them about but don’t want to bias the thought process.

Seeing as @Tenshadesandme questioned me about it, I hope she will be one of the first to respond to the what is?

And please, everyone have a go at shaping this into something more concrete.

Here’s my original post

Here is “Me’s” response

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Good sir, you tag me in a post and of course I appear just as soon as I possibly can.

Just what is a domestic dominant? Only you could turn my own question back against me! :joy:

First, I feel it would be only right and proper (and natural!) to share with you my first thoughts:

“There’s only a small step between domestic and domestic-ated, which a Dominant would become in my harem” :smirk: :crazy_face:

But also I think “domestic” and “domesticated” implies a sense of being, you know, tamed, which I’m quite sure no Dominant wants to be! So then, how do we define it?

Well then, as I said, the nearest thing that I could find on Google is domestic violence, and given I also said that the pivotal difference between domestic violence and BDSM is consent, we know it’s not about that. So then, is it perhaps simply domestic violence with consent? That also gets a clear and resounding “no”, for what I hope would be all too obvious reasons!

So then, if it’s not one, and it’s not the other, just what is a domestic dominant?

To me, a “domestic dominant” is one who is a natural leader in their home, but are perhaps also respected as natural leaders outside of it. It’s not simply a role they choose for themselves nor is it something they pretend to be, it’s something they are, naturally, and partners and people are naturally drawn towards them and their calming sense of knowledge and authority.

I hope this gives it some definition, sir :slight_smile:

I hope this post is of use as well. In it, I’ve sort of alluded to being a natural leader myself, but having chosen to hand over the reins to someone else: it’s not to say that I can’t lead in relationships, but that I choose not to, because I don’t have the desire to lead :slight_smile:

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Submissive here… hello :wave:
The phrase domestic dominant to me off the top of my head would be the leader in a home setting. Someone that probably lives exclusively with their sub, maybe even married to them, so is involved with the day to day running of the home, family and kids. Mucks in when needs be, doing lunchboxes, helping with dinner and running a hoover round etc but also has rules, protocols and rituals that they expect from their sub. It strikes me a term used in parallel to a more conventinal relationship with kink mixed in.
I personally dont succumb to ‘titles’ per se, as we just wouldnt be able to. Im a ‘middle’ with a little brat chucked in occasionally. I will sometimes be a service sub if homelife allows and a sex slave as and when we can and if i have the head space. He is a Daddy dom, with pleasure dom chucked in. If we go by how i see your term of domestic dom, he would be that as well as we both work full time and is impractical and unfair to think i can do all chores and homemaking along side working 4 days a week.
We just do whats right for us and ignore the titles.

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Thank you for your insight, I like your explanation.

It sounds like you have a good balance of Dom/sum kink and everyday life.

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My feeling is that my wife is a domestic dominant.

We started with a Female Led Male Chastity relationship which has morphed into one where I am still in chastity but her sexual dominance has increased greatly. Penetrative sex is always her in me. Impact play is now a large part of our relationship. I have become much more feminised and essentially our roles are now completely reversed.
She is also dominant in our domestic lives and I now do all the domestic chores, cleaning, shopping and cooking.

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Your story which is well documented and legendary in the forum seems to fit well in to the growing definition of a domestic dominant

Thank you for adding to the topic.

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@Tenshadesandme after the short time this has been open to debate do you think you’ve got your answer of what a Domestic Dominant is?

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As the man who coined the term, tell me, does the definition sound right to you?

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So what is a domestic dominant? I think the above does a well rounded explanation of it from different angles, thank you to those of you who responded and moved the conversation forward.

To me a domestic dominant is exactly what it sounds like. A person who is by nature a more dominant character in their day to day life, both sexually and non sexually. Not paid or professionally a Dominant by career, job or employment, although they can be so outside of the job once they’ve taken their leathers or pvc off.

They are a natural born leader, both able to support and guide when required, nurture the best from those around them in any given situation. To lead from the back or out in front but ready to let those that desire the experience of leading to do so and take second fiddle.

I feel there’s a sociological or psychological dissertation paper that can be written on this. So let’s keep the conversation going and work to define its meaning.

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I probably have something wlse ro contribute somewhere in the archive :blush: