Sooo, after a wonderful 5 month relationship with the bloke I reconned was in for the long haul I've been dumped. This was the first relationship were i felt truly comfortable and truly enjoyed my sex life, which was quite a relief after three years of singledom and beginning to wonder if i was normal or not, thankfully it would seem I am and fully capable of being a part of a healthy, sexual and emotional relationship.
However, contrary to a single friends comment "being single is freat, you don't know what you're missing" i do, that is the precise problem, i know full well what single life for me is, lonely, and thanks to this wonderful relationship I know exactly what i miss about being part of a couple.
The lovehoney shopping spree has been done and the goods happily sampled, however, I'm still horny as hell and missing having someone else in my life and in my bed.
What i guess i'm asking is whether anyone has any words of wisdom as I start out looking for someone new? Whilst a one night stand would sort out part of the problem, i have no idea how to initiate one and the idea frankly terrifies me. I've joined a swing dance class and go ceilidhing (if that's even a word!?) and remain hopeful that i'll fine someone new soon, I guess I'm just royally fed up with being back to square one at someone elses behest and wish there was quicker way.
eek, i apologise, looking at that i guess that was much more of a rant than any form of question. sorry
Ok the biggest advice I can give is don't go for a one night stand.
Very rarely is the sex ever good. You can often do a better job with a vibe or your hand.
If you want some really mind blowing decent sex and you can't wait to meet for someone new, go for a reputable male escort. Safe, Hot and you're guaranteed quality !!!
Well I'd say perk yourself up first! Pamper yourself and get into a place where you feel really pleased to be you. After that just socialise and enjoy meeting different people. Getting all dolled up helps you feel good just as much as it attracts other people.
Personally I'm not the biggest fan of one night stands although they do give you a huge adrenaline rush. I think that you can allow yourself to get put in situations that are out of your control, especially after a few drinks.
First off, welcome! Sorry it's under such blargh circumstances though. *hugs*
Secondly, the worst thing you can do is let yourself be that desperate that you're seeking someone to fill a void, rather than picking someone on their own merit. I've made waaaay too many bad choices in the guy stakes because I was that determined to find "someone" that I ended up with "anyone". Like the saying "no one will love you until you love yourself", you have to become comfortable with being single (not necessarilly happy, but at least not so vehement about getting a relationship at all costs) before you'll be able to look at someone and decide if you want to be with them or not based on your standards and their merits, rather than desperation and loneliness.
And thirdly, one night stands are not the way to beat loneliness. The companionship that you're looking for - what your toys can't give you - is not going to come with some drunken yahoo who cares nothing about you or your needs or interests or ideas. They're only good if you're not being satisfied sexually, and even then it's rather hit and miss, which doesn't seem to be the issue, really.
Lady H, I think u r doing the right thing by going out & socialising and I'm sure u'll find a nice man soon enough. The main thing is not to give up and to learn to enjoy these activities for their own sake. 1 night stands (I'm not talking 'bout 1-offs with friends) are out for me as well since I'm unable to invest myself sexually without emotional involvement.
This probly sounds bit "meh" and deep and stuff but heyho, (And trust me i know how you feel!) sexual satisfaction aside i think what most people crave when single is love and affection, try pampering yourself, give yourself lots of compliments so when you do go out, you'll feel, and therefore look confident which (i believe) men find attractive, and if you don't pull, you'll still feel good about yourself, one night stands are not the answer. Did that recently and it was shocking. I ended up feeling quite cheap. Take the time you have single to focus on yourself, the horniness does ease a bit after a while and then hopefully you'll find some one lovely and you'll be ready for him
Don't look, you'll never find what you are looking for when you are actively looking. If a casual fling comes along then play safe and enjoy it. If a relationship is ment to be then it will happen.
Some very good points and i guess they confirm what i was already thinking really: what i want is another proper relationship which is going to take time to find, i guess i'm just loath to be back at square one again, especially given that last time it took a grand 3 years!
but yeah, a dolling up style shopping spree is in order methinks. that and getting plenty of use out of "the box" in the mean time.
Yeah, I'd say that my "success" with relationships has only come at precisely the point where I was happy to be single!
But you're free to socialise and flirt and work out what you want from a man and from your life, so use the opportunity to research your options - don't just turn it into one big trawl for "the one".
Good luck, and remember we're here if you need us!
From a bloke who's been single for quite a while (Mostly by choice and so I can be self centred and do stuff I want without feeling held back) - enjoy it! Do stuff that one day when you're in a relationship you'll think "I wish I did that". It doesn't have to be sex related - Hell, I got a new job, moved counties (sideways and upwards in both respects!), have many excellent memories of holidays with my friends that I probably wouldn't have done if I was seeing someone.
Single is a status, and isn't the be all and end all. There's times when I come home from a long day in the saddle and want to cuddle up in bed next to someone - but for the most part i'm happy. Be single and enjoy it while you can :->.
Some very good points and i guess they confirm what i was already thinking really: what i want is another proper relationship which is going to take time to find, i guess i'm just loath to be back at square one again, especially given that last time it took a grand 3 years!
but yeah, a dolling up style shopping spree is in order methinks. that and getting plenty of use out of "the box" in the mean time.
Well, you don't know how long it would take - it might surprise you just around the corner tomorrow! You never know! ;) (said by someone who met a guy 9 years ago with expectations of nothing more than a hanging out for a while and now is expecting a baby in less than 2 months with the same guy ;) )
I took the opportunity of being single by going to travel/live/work abroad and discover myself. I moved back to the UK a much happier person and definetly more confient within which I feel has led to a increase in my sexual confidence.
Nothing on the romance scene (Bar a proposal from a homeless man sat in a piss soaked stairwell who promised "I'd never have an unhappy day in my life"!??)
However, I'm no longer furious with the ex and dont miss him (apart from inoppertune horny moments).
I am just truly fed up of being on my own all the time and having to get myself off when the mood takes me, something made far worse by having had a fabulous sex life with the ex in that i now have very specific cravings which i cannot always fulfill. grrr (on that note, did anyone else see the sex toy attatchment that is designed to simulate someone licking/sucking nipples? sounded good, shame its so pricey though!)
All in all i need to get out more and probably look happier than I am.
However, festival season is on its way and i have a couple booked, cant wait! :)
Sorry to hear that things havent picked up on the romance front, but at least you're over the ex! I have recently split with my fiance of 4 years (we had an amazing sex life and she was one hell of a kinky girl who loved trying everything and anything!) and im still struggling to make it past that point.
I guess partly its what you say, being used to good sex makes it so much more difficult to go back to just masturbation which can't replace a horny partner (maybe i can find something on lovehoney though to spice things up for myself!).
A one night stand would sort these short term urges, but really its a long-term partner that I'm looking for. However having posted on here recently, a lot of the members on here had plenty of good advice to just take things steady and get back to doing things you enjoy. Hopefully once im back up and running and not focusing on the lack of love in my life, that special someone may just appear.
I have to hope at least! :D
Enjoy the festivals, they always seem to be a great place for meeting people!
