Hi guys, just wanting to see what folks thoughts on the following are.
My wife Jane and I have been married 22 years and a few times over the years I’ve suggested that she get some professional Boudoir or Glamour type photos taken but she’s never really seemed that keen on the idea as she’s quite curvy and says she does not consider herself the typical sexy glamour model type.
I’d all but given up on the idea when about a week ago, out of the blue, she announced her friend Laura had pretty much talked her into doing a test shoot at a studio doing that sort of glamour stuff and that as long as I was ok with it after talking to Laura about it she was just going to “go for it” and see what happened as it might be fun and she might also make some cash if she was selected for more work. So apparently the test shoot consists of posing in 2 outfits and she will only be required to strip as far as topless.
Laura has apparently been posing for this place for a while now and makes a bit of extra cash doing it. Laura assures us that there is no sex or men involved and that we will get a set of the photos taken. After that if Jane is selected to model she would be paid, but expected to remove her panties and pose completely naked. While I’m excited about the prospect of having some sexy photos of Jane taken by a professional, I think now it might actually happen I’m wondering how I’ll feel after she’s done it and if she did want to do full nude stuff for others to look at. Also it kind of seems sudden and out of character. What would you guys thoughts be if it was your partner ?
If you’re not 100% happy with this then you need to say so. Maybe originally you thought it sounded like it was something you’d love to happen even though you knew it probably wouldn’t. Now reality is happening you’re having second thoughts. This is common in a fantasy.
Talk about it…sounds like you need to express your feelings before it happens.
Great advice above.
I think one of my concerns would be where these photos would be posted etc.
In my (and Mr John’s) line of work it could cause no end of problems.
If she did decide to go further read the small print carefully, bare in mind once those pictures are out there they are forever.
Pics just for you both to enjoy is a great idea, full nude for public viewing, different road to go down all together.
I suppose that’s a major part of my reservations. I wouldn’t have any real problem with her posing topless, as she says, it’s no different to being seen topless by a pool or on a beach but nude, for me anyway, is a much bigger step. Neither of us is in a job where it would have any real effect other than it might cause some mild shock !
Not sure about this, i have read about “dodgy” photographic modelling deals, not just the ones you’re talking about. But ones promising modelling careers for people, it ends up costing them, and no modelling jobs are got.
If she’s so keen why not find a proper boudoir photographer and have a set for yourselves rather than something that to me sounds dodgy.
I’m guessing you have misgivings as your asking for our thoughts?
If i was you, i’d do a bit more research into it.
Personally I would love this to happen in my relationship and would be very comfortable with other people viewing the pictures, I however understand that this is not for everyone so if you feel uncomfortable with it talk to your wife and tell her.
It sounds good initially, if the photo’s were for you and the wife and would probably increase her confidence. However you really need to be sure you are both confident about going into anything further, what will friends/family think, how will they react, effect on work/employment for you both. Where will the photos end up? So many questions that need answering first and its not something to rush into.
Yes this is sort of what’s in the back of my mind. Her friend who has been posing for over a year now says it’s fun and an easy way to make some extra money. She swears it’s just lingerie and sexy outfits with no sex and no men involved but as you say, you can’t help wonder if there may be more going on behind the scenes, so to speak. Laura is a lot more confident and a lot less naive than Jane so I’m not sure how Jane would react if they did try to get her to “push the boundaries” during a shoot.
If she’s found the confidence to go for it then I’d say support her and cheer on for wanting to try something new
But word of wisdom, as I work in the fashion industry and deal with photographers on a professional daily basis, I’d make sure the photographer your using has a proper contract for your wife to sign stating everything in how the photos will be used and what rights she will have to them as least to say I’ve come across some well dodgy camera people in my time that have taken advantage be it male or female.
Also I’d make sure she has a hair and makeup artist on set too.
Lots of good advice already. I’d agree with what’s already been said.
If you aren’t 100% comfortable with it then you need to talk about it and make your feelings known. She might be thinking that it’s something that you really want and that she would be making you happy. Once the photos are taken then they are “out there” for others to see so you both need to be confident that it’s what you want.
Maybe suggest that she does a private boudoir shoot first - just photos for the two of you and then think about professional ones later?
If she does go ahead with it - make sure you read the contract carefully, I’m not familiar with how these things work but I’d be looking to see who has the rights to decide what photos are published, where and when. What happens if your wife changes her mind after the photos are taken or doesn’t like a particular shot? Can she say no to them being published at that stage or do they then belong to the photographer / studio? Lots of things to look into first.
Is this friend a long term friend who is trustworthy or a friend that your wife has met recently? I’m a very cynical person but I wondered if her friend is trying to push her into it.
@AJSTAR From what we have been told so far there is a Hair and makeup woman and a photographers assistant, all female. I will make sure to ask about contracts as I’d never even considered that till it was mentioned here.
Ok, think you all know what I do for work, I web cam and there is a lot of content with me available.
Please please please make sure this is what you both want, and once it’s out there, believe me it’s not that easy to remove it.
I was sold my job that I’d be paid to sit in a bra! I was very wrong, so before she signs up to anything, check out the company, where these pictures are going, and the small print.
Your marriage is the most valuable thing, if your unsure, don’t do it. You cannot put a price on your happiness, since your in the industry it’s incredibly difficult to leave.
Thanks for your comment. Can I ask what was different from what you were initially told as opposed to what you were actually required to do ?
Thanks for the comment. I had suggested similar but from what her friend had told her the photographer is really good and it’s a nice studio with a “fun” all female environment, which I think my wife thinks would make her more comfortable. They have been friends for a long time so I’d have said she’s pretty trustworthy.
As to contracts, that’s certainly something we need to consider as it wasn’t something we’d thought about.
I was told by my admin that we delay nudity, so we stay clothed as long as possible, basically waiting out till there money runs out.
I learnt very quickly, but these guys cam 24 hours a day, they are not interested in me, all they want is the quickest, cheapest happy ending.
As soon as I wouldn’t get naked in 10 seconds flat, they’d go. I learnt I had to weigh up what I wanted, to make money, or not.
The pushes these guys do, wanting more and more quicker and quicker.
I learnt the hard way, I learnt my marriage was more important. It put a massive strain that is honestly not worth it.
I’m stuck here as I earn £500-700 a week, but I’ve lost friends, family and my husband in the process.
Please be sure, because once you get a taste of the money, it’s hard to be without it. X
If its something she would like to do, I’d be happy for her. It may boost her image confidence
@Craig1234 I do want to encourage her but also I don’t want her getting into anything she ends up regretting. I think it would prove to her how sexy she is as long as it’s all positive.
Follow both of your thoughts, if her friends going at the same time, they could bounce confidence off each other
@Craig1234 I’m not sure if they would be going together or separately. If it was together that would certainly make me feel a lot better and probably Jane too.