I guess I should be flatterd that in her words I'm enough for her and my length and girdth is enough to satisfy her most of the time. She said she doesnt like things that vibrate in her or on her. It doesnt take an awfull lot to bring her to orgasm through oral and deffinatley always with penatration.
But I would like us to use some toys during sex .
Have you ever thought about experimenting with some bondage type toys- restraints, paddles etc? :) x
What about a glass dildo? It sounds incredibly daunting, but it really isn't. It's all about sensation rather than size or any fancy vibrations.
I have four different ones now, but my first one was this and I fell in love.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20055
If you have a read of the reviews, others seem to strongly agree too. You can heat or cool the glass, but I already think it's cool enough just when it's been sitting at room temperature.
I've never used it solo, it's used just occasionally as a part of foreplay. It's a great feeling, and if your OH feels opened minded enough to try it, I'm sure she'll love it.
Have a look through some of what LH has to offer, and read the reviews and see what you think.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/glass-dildos/
I hope you eventually find something you'll both enjoy.
I know how you feel. My wife won't let me go down on her, swallow, let me cum on her, try bondage, wear lingerie, masturbate in front of me and let's not even mention anal.
All these things are stuff I would like to do/try just to see if it worked for her/us but she isn't into it. I've tried the discussion route and made it clear that I want to try it for my satisfaction but the truth is, if you've discussed it with her and she isn't into it don't push her. It isn't going to do any good.
Does she ever introduce new ideas to your sexlife?
McGlovin, have you ever bought her some erotic fiction? It might make her more open to the idea of it. I know when I read Fifty Shades, it was a big boost for me. I had put off reading it for a couple of years because of all the hype, but it's really good.
MrsMcX wrote:
McGlovin, have you ever bought her some erotic fiction? It might make her more open to the idea of it. I know when I read Fifty Shades, it was a big boost for me. I had put off reading it for a couple of years because of all the hype, but it's really good.
+1 - I thoroughly enjoyed these books too - erotica is a very good idea :) xx
Haha, don't want to hijack pete's post. I have given up on new things.
Done the 50 shades plus another book from the LH site. She read 50 shades (1 & 2) but the other is just in a box under bed, along with lingerie.
Some of it I put sown to her low sex drive she is how I would describe as once a week woman where as I'm 2/3 times. She's read the 50 shades books. We've sat and watched porn together and she is far from a prude with sex. McGlovin I understand where your comming from as my wife wont do oral on me either but I acept her reasons although it doesnt stop me from jokingly asking her.
Ouch, feel for ya bud. I don't think low sex drive is my missus issue. Rarely been refused she just doesn't have the confidence to try new and admittedly more extreme things. Sex is still great but you always want more eh?
Have you watched porn with partners using toys on each other. There's some really good homemade stuff which shows how gentle and sensual it can be.
i csn totally relate to your wife!
I second MrsMcX! if you want to try other penetrative options then a glass dildo is the way too go.
I was given a vibrator as a gift recently, and I love the shape of it, but found it most satifying with out the batteries.
I have been called a very demanding insatiable lady many times, so it's not sex drive... Its just some people who usually have no problem having orgasms can find a vibro, over the top and quite off putting, maybe distracting or really just senseless, especially when the real thing is so much better!
I actually never understood why one would want to simulate sex with something that is unnatural.
I bought my glass dildo just last week, because, Iam no longer married and I really don't want the fuss of finding a FK buddy. so iM MEGA FRUSTRATED.... and thought of, now its time in my life to buy toys to replace what im missing...
I would never of thought to have a vibro, when I had my OH, or even when I was younger and single as i would always find some fun somewhere with another person..
perhaps you OH has this opinion of herself also.
Have you thought about other kinds of toys... that mayb she could use on you... perhaps she would like to experiment in that way?
I say this as I have used many different types of toys on men and women who do and don't like vibros... there is a whole range of different things...
Perhpas ask yourself, why you want her to enjoy these toys? she may be wondering the motives behind your suggestions... this can also put people off...
also sometimes we ask of others what deep down we wish to receive... and if she knows that this is a possibility , she may be awaiting you to have a go too...?
just throwing out ideas...
But just be reassured, if I was bothered to go out more and not feeling so much apathy, I would be going out , newly single finding playmates and would have the Glass dildo back in the post office!
However I'm awaitng the tracy cox, glass dido duo to come back into stock. I juts bought the lilac lovehoney wave Gspot Glass dildo... and boy does it replace what i have recently lost...
Kind of dangerous really... as I'll probably just need this for the rest of my sexual life now.....
MrsMcX wrote:
What about a glass dildo? It sounds incredibly daunting, but it really isn't. It's all about sensation rather than size or any fancy vibrations.
I have four different ones now, but my first one was this and I fell in love.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20055
If you have a read of the reviews, others seem to strongly agree too. You can heat or cool the glass, but I already think it's cool enough just when it's been sitting at room temperature.
I've never used it solo, it's used just occasionally as a part of foreplay. It's a great feeling, and if your OH feels opened minded enough to try it, I'm sure she'll love it.
Have a look through some of what LH has to offer, and read the reviews and see what you think.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/dildos/glass-dildos/
I hope you eventually find something you'll both enjoy.
Glass gets my vote but this is my favourite forr sure http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=24235 followed by this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12036
I used go hate vibrators as I had only experienced rabbit or the old basic torpedo shaped ones. Then I got an amazing bullet and g spot vibarator and they completely changed my mind about vibrating toys. However I will always choose a dildo over a vibrator anyway.
I love my glass dildo because you can cook it down. I also love to be tied up etc.... Maybe suggest some blind folding or light bondage.
If she doesn't like vibrstors world she be open to the idea of a butt plug or anal beads?
blonde vixen13 wrote:
I used go hate vibrators as I had only experienced rabbit or the old basic torpedo shaped ones. Then I got an amazing bullet and g spot vibarator and they completely changed my mind about vibrating toys. However I will always choose a dildo over a vibrator anyway.
I love my glass dildo because you can cook it down. I also love to be tied up etc.... Maybe suggest some blind folding or light bondage.
If she doesn't like vibrstors world she be open to the idea of a butt plug or anal beads?
I was thinking this too. I had so many issues with my first vibrator i thought it was so weird and couldn't understand why people liked them.
Then I spent some money on one with more power, and it stopped being so buzzy and irritating and more rumbly. Turns out that was all I needed.
Another thing i thought of was playing one of the games together. We enjoyed monogamy?
Anything anal insertion wise is out. She suffers a bit from colitis but we do enjoy me kissing and masturbating on to her bum. Maybe now with the christmas brak all over and ttenage kids and youngest going back to schoool uni and collage we may find ourselves with a quiet afternoon.
I'm not to sure on the glass dildos for her but maybe show her some of the toys to gauge an opinion.
we've bought and discarded lots of toys, we've also had toys that were tried and put to the bottom of the toy store......some of those have resurfaced to become 'temporary' favourites. Point is that for some people mood/moment changes the perception of the type of play.
You havent made it clear whether your wifes aversion is physical or mental......maybe like InnerG above she really is too sensitive to an angry bee? or maybe its a mental thing.....
arousal manifests itself in many different ways, there's plenty of times when Mrs H says something like ' i have no idea what you were doing but it was good'....point being that sometimes one an get lost in pleasure to the degree that mental reservations become irrelevant.
How would she perhaps react if you were using fingers for internal stimulation with a bullet for external? or is it worth trying 1-2 toys again when she is in a different mood, or rather when you have put her in a different mood?
Finally - why do you feel the urge for toys? for me i'd rather use the real thing, but i'm a realist and there's no way that i can last a cple of hours ( i wish)...so the toys become a cheats way of maintaining/improving her 'high' . But i'm sure that some folks are satisfied with a shorter pleasure playtime, feeling fully satisfied and not feeling that they've missed out....maybe that's your OH's perception?
communication and trial would seem to be the way forward, given that you've mentioned that she's far from a prude .......
I would just like it for toys to be in use in our fun in bed. She will often bring or play with herself while I pleasure myself infront of her.
As I said I will just see what happens over time and maybe with the house about to be quiet again during the day things may be differant.
What about nipple toys, like clamps or suckers? Also there are plenty of G-spotting dildos like the Pure Wand that could give her a completely new sensation.
pete_perv wrote:
As I said I will just see what happens over time and maybe with the house about to be quiet again during the day things may be differant.
Could it be the sound more than the vibration then? And not wanting the kids to hear?
Have a look at some of the silicone g-spot dildos. IMO they're easier to start with than glass.
Lelo's Ella is simple, with clean, elegant lines. The feel of it is lovely. If your wife enjoys some manual g-spot stimulation, then you could suggest this as a more comfortable alternative to your finger. Shapewise, it's basically a longer, more ergonomic finger without the complication of neighbours. :-) Great packaging too, so it feels high end without a hefty price.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14702
LH has two others which also get great reviews.
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22767
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22769
Or maybe kegel eggs? They're more for improving muscle tone, but knowing she's wearing them will probably get your mind racing. :-) They can also be good to clench around during oral. They'd be passive (rather than something you used on her), but might be a place to start?
If it is about vibrations, do you know what sorts of things she doesn't like?
It doesnt take an awfull lot to bring her to orgasm through oral and deffinatley always with penatration.
If she's especially sensitive, then she might do better with a different sort of vibe. Maybe rumblier, or weaker. The weaker ones are less popular, so they tend to come up on the deals and clearances sales quite often. Some people get lucky with finding ones they like right away, but most of us have to experiment a bit.
Just some thoughts....
I dont like dildos or vibrators they just dont do anything for me - however i do love my bullets! I'm really open minded about sex but some things just dont do it for me.
but maybe she just isnt into these things and is happy with your sex life as it is? I'm with a lovely bloke who isnt into any sort of sex toys (apart from my bullet), bondage etc and we have a great sex life -