so my last topic was about how i could help my wife feel sexier. as it turns out i was the problem and me that turned her off. it very unfortunately took another guy to make her feel sexy again. she has said it was primarily an emotional connection but the sexual attraction was there and he is the complete opposite everything to me. even though once i found out and after a few issues she ended it, i know she is still thinking about him in that way. i am tempted to offer her the opportunity to fulfill her fantasy and sleep with him but it would have to be during a threesome or more with me involved. im hoping this will kick start her freak mode and be the start of many an adventure. i work away for a living and i would also after the first few times let them have time together while im away as long as it was within certain rules as its a real turn on for me if i was to see a video of her with another guy while im away knowing i would give her a better time and more orgasms when im home. the problem is i dont think she would be able to keep it strictly physical with him and the emotions would soon take over. im struggling with what to do as i would love to give her the opportunity to let her freak out knowing our sex life would go through the roof or not bring it up and stay in a mundane repetitive and almost sexless marriage and hope she stays faithful and completely un adventurous. very sorry for the very long text and massive thanks if you read it all.
It is a difficult one and you could be standing on the precipice, as you mention this might move from physical to emotional and you could lose everything.
Is there no way that your partner could travel with you sometimes, it might be loneliness that is driving this.
Good luck.
Adding in a fantasy isnât always the answer. Sometimes hard work on relationships is much more beneficial for everyone.
Maybe some time away together with work like mentioned above or something like a spa will work.
I would have paranoia about the extra man while it was away, so wouldnât work for me but best of luck with it all.
Do you know what it is about you that has âturned her offâ?
If so is it repairable?
I think that if i were in your situation i would be working on sirting out the relationship rather than introducing a (very) wild card.
I hate to be the one to say and I do hope you get through this âŚâŚ but before you try this âthreesomeâ or âhotwifeâ fantasy you need to work on the relationship!
To be a part of that lifestyle you both have to be in a very strong position with 100% trust. You need to be completely open and happy with each other or there is a very high chance it would go the wrong way.
It seems, and correct me if Iâm wrong, that she has allready broken the trust with what she has done.
What if the sex she has is actually mind blowing and then he treats her to all the emotional things you canât when youâre away with work?
Be very careful and work on the relationship first, be there for her as well as her for you!
Donât jump into the lifestyle without the trust as it probably wonât work out and you will end up getting hurt more!
Sorry to say that and I hope it work out well for you both, I could be completely wrong and others will disagree but what you fantasise about is not a quick fix
Oh this sounds like a very slippy slope. Youâve said that it was primarily an emotional connection, so thats already there, youâre not going to stop that from developing unless she cuts him out completely. If youâre open to a poly relationship, then it could work, but it doesnât sound like thats what youâre wanting.
I honestly think you need to work on the problems in your own relationship before adding anyone else to it. Discuss exactly why you turn her off, get down to the specifics to see whether its repairable or if its something youâre doing to try and connect with her because its what you thought she wanted.
For me once the trust is gone, its gone and theres no getting it back. I hope youâre both able to come out of this happy and healthy, whether thats together or not.
Edited for spelling.
Can I just add that you can trust someone again but it does have to be earned and takes a long time âŚâŚâŚ Iâve been through it 
I have to say there seems to be an elephant in the room here: you apparently being turned on by the idea of your wife with another man, and being a second man in a bi threesome. After chatting to other guys on another chat forum, I discovered this sort of cuckold fantasy is incredibly common (among both heterosexual and bisexual men), and when it happens in practice (instead of just being fantasy) it involves the cuckolded man enjoying the humiliation, and being at pains to point out his inferiority. But it also leads to great sex between the couple, when the lady returns. Your case seems to have all the hallmarks of these cuckold fantasies/relationships, so I am wondering how much of it is you both actually wanting this kind of diversion. But it is also clear, from talking to guys who like to be cuckolded, that it only works as an addition to a good sex life, not as a would-be solution to a bad one. You probably need to sit down and assess where you really are in the relationship, and be honest about how much you both want there to be a third party.
Did she actually say to you that you was the reason she turned off?
I think something like this is at a crossroads where you need to really talk and be as open as you can with her on all this and express your worries.
You can, I canât
I should have said âsometimesâ you can trust again sorry I meant no offence 
You didnât offend me 
itâs all gravy
I really wish I was saying this to you instead of through a forum because I honestly feel for you.
I think your reading it all wrong and turning it into a fantasy to somehow get your wifeâs attention and love back. You might love the thought of threesomes but thatâs not whatâs going to happen if you allow this man into your already on the rocks relationships. You are going to end up getting pushed away and left out. Itâs also not going to bring the spark back it will do the complete opposite. Three way relationships only work if everyone involved is honest and committed to each other.
Try and fix your marriage, I can tell you want to but you two need to do it together. If she has no attraction to you then your going to have to walk away from it and accept itâs not working.
Your a better person then I am
I apologize if I am being provocative but I was reading your post and was wondering if your wife wrote the same thing on this forum, would you see the situation differently? I concur with the previous respondents that your relationship may be in trouble and having others involved may not help in the way you hope.
I have changed it below to make it from her perspective.
so my last topic was about how i could help my husband feel sexier. as it turns out i was the problem and me that turned him off. it very unfortunately took another woman to make him feel sexy again. He has said it was primarily an emotional connection but the sexual attraction was there and she is the complete opposite everything to me. even though once i found out and after a few issues he ended it, i know he is still thinking about her in that way. i am tempted to offer him the opportunity to fulfill his fantasy and sleep with her but it would have to be during a threesome or more with me involved. im hoping this will kick start his freak mode and be the start of many an adventure. i work away for a living and i would also after the first few times let them have time together while im away as long as it was within certain rules as its a real turn on for me if i was to see a video of him with another woman while im away knowing i would give him a better time and more orgasms when im home. the problem is i dont think he would be able to keep it strictly physical with her and the emotions would soon take over. im struggling with what to do as i would love to give him the opportunity to let him freak out knowing our sex life would go through the roof or not bring it up and stay in a mundane repetitive and almost sexless marriage and hope he stays faithful and completely un adventurous. very sorry for the very long text and massive thanks if you read it all.