If I’m honest I love the fantasy of it, but don’t think I could ever do it.
And
But I can always just use a suction cup dildo with her to simulate the real deal.
Not to be rude just trying to understand the relationship but what boundaries are there when she can have sex with him?
And how do you explain to your child that mum is off with another bloke for the day/night or sleeping over.? Or is the child too young to understand but also if the boyfriend did carry on then when the child gets older then how do you explain that?
Good questions to be fair……. Personally I don’t think the offspring would need to know anything……
Who’s to say mum can’t go out with her friends whenever even if it’s overnight etc? 
why can’t dad have a lads night alone with his boys or spend some quality time with his daughter?
Why would our sex life have anything to do with the rest of any of our family? 
For me it would be she’s off with her mates on a night out. If we had someone over they would be up and on the sofa by the morning to avoid questions
But our kids are grown up and have flown the nest so things would be a lot easier 
and so what if they saw her out with another guy?
What would you say if the kids saw her with another guy ? Like I say not being rude just trying to understand the whole open relationship thing
I don’t know exactly what to be honest but I’m pretty sure if they saw her out with someone they wouldn’t be humping in the streets or over a table in a restaurant you wouldn’t need to think to much about it as unless they were snogging and groping in public then it’s just a passing comment I guess “Brad from work took her out to say thanks for helping with a project”…… “Jared needs to get some clothes for work do”… etc
Almost 100% of things could be explained innocently as long as panic didn’t set in
To alleviate the worry you could set boundaries that have to be stuck too…… no holding hands or kissing in public, as I said before if they stay overnight it’s not in your room, only date in a different town etc.
If you think about it it’s not really that hard to explain things to kids, friends or family as long as you both on the same page and it’s easy to brush things off if you both know what your doing where your going and if you did get seen why you’re there.
It’s just a case of talking about everything …. Communication would be the key 
.
Lots of great advice from @G_and_S on this which I hope helps @Happilymarriedman84 if you decide to go through with it. Good luck
No I couldn’t ever go through with it I’m just very interested in the mind set of it all. And how it works. I just couldn’t let my wife go with another bloke and be ok with it.
I’m really having trouble with this:
There’s no jealousy on my part at all. Yes, there’s a turn on either seeing my OH with others if I’m taking a back seat and just watching for a while but usually I’ll then join in as it gives her double the attention.
OK, I can see where there might be an appeal here but later on you have spoken about your plans to have another guy in your relationship who your wife can go off with and do whatever they want. You won’t know what they are doing and you won’t be able to see what they are doing, or have the opportunity to join in. Also, and no offence is intended to your friend, you have no idea what he is doing. Is he going bear back? Has he drugged your wife? Has he hurt her or worse?
He declined. Not because he wasn’t attracted to or interested in my OH but because he only met people 1-2-1 and wouldn’t be comfortable with me being involved at all, which I totally respected as many in the scene will say what they want you to hear just to get access to women.
This would be a red flag to me as it does not fit your plan We discussed a while back the idea to find a regular ‘boyfriend’ for both her to meet alone (once we’re all comfortable and of course after much chat, socialising and initial meets together) with the idea being we’d all also play together at times as well as just her and him separately away from home. You want to be involved and this guy is saying he’s not interested if you are there. Why is that? Why does he not want you there? Why does he want your wife that you love and loves you all to himself? Sounds like he either want’s an unattached woman or a woman that he can try to seduce.
So we talked more, established what everyone would be comfortable with and they’ve now had a couple of social meets and are planning more to make sure they’re both 100% comfortable before anything gets physical.
How do you know it has not already got physical? It’s not like you have been there to see what they have been doing and it is very possible that they have decided not to tell you. I know you say that trust is central to this but once your wife has left the house she could be doing anything.
Its been a steep learning curve for the three of us as its a completely new dynamic for us all. But if it works out, then she will have a ‘part time boyfriend’ to spend time both socially and sexually with away from me and we’ll continue our club experiences and still look for that extra for threesome regular meets.
Why would she want a ‘Part time Boyfriend’ when she already has a ‘Full time Husband’ by using the term Boyfriend you are implying a relationship which is closer than friendship, more a relationship that is based on love. If love does develop you might get into the situation where she loves both of you equally. You have already said that he is not interested in a three way relationship so it is possible that you end up in a situation where part of the week, your wife lives with you and the rest of the week she lives with him. It may even end up with her living with him full time.
They key thing is trust. 110% trust. Whenever you do anything with someone else you need comfort and security but when you move to a position where your wife, the most important person in your life, will be meeting another man alone for both sex and just hanging out, drinks and regular social activities, I have one piece of advice.
If you can’t trust them both, have total confidence that everyone knows the dynamic, will abide by set boundaries and no lines will be blurred or crossed then forget it. It’s a recipe for disaster. You’ll find yourself sat dwelling on what’s happening, what’s being said and worrying about safety.
You have referred to your wife as ‘The most important person in your life’, if this is true why would you give her to someone else? Sharing her (as in you being there at the time) is one thing as it is something that physically and sexually you are both involved in. Giving her to the other guy cuts you out completely. You can’t seriously tell me that you can sit at home and get off on the fact that they might be having sex, having a romantic meal, gone shopping at the supermarket, gone to the tip or been involved in a car crash.
You have also mentioned that you have to trust them both 110%. Can you really be sure that you can trust a guy who goes to clubs with the sole purpose of trying to separate a woman from her partner and have ‘consequence free’ sex with her?
The guy we’ve found is a saint and a gent. He treats my wife no differently than I do, respects hers and my wishes, understands that he’s becoming part of an established couple who have a child, work commitments, time constraints and a ‘normal’ life to balance with anything new. He’s not rushing anything, not looking for a quick thrill and is hoping (as we do) that this will be a long term thing.
So he treats your wife the same way you do. Sounds like he might have fallen for her already.
There’s no guarantee it will work as well as we hope. But fingers crossed, because the way we’ve approached it has benefits for us all, we all get on fantastically and we’re open to discussion on any wobbles, worries or concerns from anyone at all times.
I can guarantee that it will not work as you hope as you have already had to change what you want to accommodate him. You need to remember that essentially you are becoming the spare part in the relationship here. You are letting this other guy have your wife and you are having to give up what you want for the privilege.
I don’t know the exact details of what the three of you get up to but this seems like it has moved from a swinger relationship to a cuckold relationship.
Please look after your wife, but more importantly look after yourself and your relationship.
I’m sorry if this has come across as a personal attack but it is not intended that way. Reading through your post started ringing all sorts of alarm bells and I would feel terrible if I didn’t say anything and things went badly for you.
I wish you and your wife all of the best and I hope that whatever you decide goes well for you both as a couple and individually.
LPX
Yeah I don’t get the comment about trusting your wife. In what way? Surely trusting your wife in a normal relationship is when they go out on a night out with friends that she won’t get up to anything. Or txt anyone else. I’m not sure what there is to trust about it all when you know she will be having sex with him and other stuff. What boundaries are there? Surely there can’t be if she can have a boyfriend.
What would the wife say if you wanted a part time girlfriend?
You know, it’s ok if you don’t get it.
Different strokes for different folks.
What you’re asking has already been answered in this chat. 
Nothing wrong with not understanding how others can think so differently to you. 
The thing with Ethical Non-Monogamy in its many forms is that you either get it or you don’t. Hell, some people in one type of ENM relationships can’t always wrap their heads around another type. But ultimately, it’s part of an individual’s sexuality. Sometimes it’s fixed for life, sometimes it is more fluid. Outside of those involved, no-one else needs to get it though.
@LPX - I really don’t see the red flags you are. However, you seem massively distrusting. I understand that @Rob36’s situation might not be for you but that doesn’t mean he’s heading for disaster. It seems they’ve vetted the guy as much as they can, and not everyone is in to threesomes or having a partner watch as it can really alter the sex but it doesn’t mean the bf is a bad guy. If their relationship heads from open to poly, then that’s what happens. Sexual thrill will become compersion. Equally, it could just fizzle out.
@Happilymarriedman84 boundaries and trust extend beyond PiV sex.
Good for you enjoy your time
Not with another man and she wouldn’t do that even if I was there but I have seen her take another cock but it belonged to our trans friend that was when I fucked her bi friend and she also had sex with her also while our trans friend fucked me
My biggest fantasy is watching my wife have fun, and then making love to her afterwards.
Myself and my OH have been swingers for a while, but I’m definitely a cuck. I love watching her getting taken by other guys. We have such a good relationship with each other and it’s all about good communication with each other. If she sees someone on a night out that she likes the look of, then she will contact me to see if she can bring him home. Lately she has been working with a couple of African guys. We had been chatting to each other about what she was wanting to do with them, but she didn’t think that they would like to come round to our house to let me watch. One night I got a video call from her when she was on a break, she was going down on one of the guys in the car before being given a good seeing too from him.
Never seen OH with another man nor do I wish to but I have seen her take our trans friends cock
She and I on occasions will have one of her friends over and often they will stay the night… everyone has a great time and after we will talk about what just happened and what was it that we each enjoyed the most etc. …now she wants a mmf and so the search is on . He has to make all her dreams and desires come true and she will the center of attention… it’s her dream and I will make it happen for her…
That’d always been one of my fantasy. When me and wife fuck, I would imagine another guy with her sucking his cock or in her pussy. We would spitroast her good
This sounds more like hotwife and stag fantasy, rather than cuckold.
He WANTS to see his beautiful wife enjoy herself with another guy. If it’s consensual and she’s up for it, amazing!
A cuck doesn’t specifically enjoy what’s happening. They don’t have the choice of what happens.
I’ve been wanting to watch my wife with another man and she said she could be into it! Was it awkward afterwards? Also I’m curious what does your husband’s friend say to him when you two are getting it on? The way you brought it up sounds hot 