Hello folks and thanks for all the information already posted on here... very helpful!
I have beads and plugs which I enjoy solo, but now I'd like to incorporate it into my sessions with Hubby. I was thinking of wearing my beads during vaginal sex so we get used to them being a part of the act, as he thinks they look scary! No intention of whipping them out with the big O but just wearing them to add another dimension, as I do when playing with a toy solo.
My question is will he feel them whilst inside me? And if so is it likely to be enjoyable (I hope so) or will this put him off?
Also, can you 'wear' beads? By that I mean is it safe to wander about the house for a couple of hours whilst wearing them???
Hmm, I guess it's different for everyone, but I love it! But if I plan to use both, I start with the beads/plug first and then insert whatever toy vaginally. It does feel tight/full, but for me, that's part of the pleasure. Of course, be sure to use plenty of lube.
If you're unsure, maybe start with a couple of your slimest toys, ie a slim plug and a slim vibrator? I don't always use both (just when I'm super horny!) so maybe it helps if you're really relaxed/gagging for it???
If you use beads (may be better to start with, rather than a plug in my opinion), you can insert them one at a time and take it slowly, so you don't push your comfort threshold? You can have a few moments between inserting each bead and let your body adjust before the next one. In no time, you'll be at the end of the line!
You may find it more comfortable experimenting with a partner, but for me, as much as I love and trust my Husband, it was 'useful' to play around solo to see what felt good/how much I could take before sharing this act with my better half as for me a bit of awkwardness can greatly kill the mood!
I would always start with inserting the toy first before your guy penetrates you. He will be able to feel it, my ex loved the different sensations. If you try doggie style, he can move the beads in and out, which feels great for both of you and looks great to him. You could even let him have a go with the beads so he knows how great they feel. It was my ex that introduced me to beads because he loved them x
If you try doggie style, he can move the beads in and out, which feels great for both of you and looks great to him. You could even let him have a go with the beads so he knows how great they feel.
Unfortunately, despite many attempts to convince him to have a go, he insists it will not feel good and it's not for him... I have to respect that, but I think he's really missing out!
This is why I figured if he could feel them whilst inside me, and enjoys the feeling, he may realise they're not scary! I live in hope!
One thing you could do to encourage him is whilst going down on him, rub a lived finger over his ass but without penetrating, it's a very sensitive area so it should feel good. Or u could get him to bend over in the shower and let the water tease him. If you don't mind rimming, that will also let him enjoy the sensations without the fear of penetration. One thing usually leads to another.... Just a couple of ideas x
One thing you could do to encourage him is whilst going down on him, rub a lived finger over his ass but without penetrating, it's a very sensitive area so it should feel good. Or u could get him to bend over in the shower and let the water tease him. If you don't mind rimming, that will also let him enjoy the sensations without the fear of penetration. One thing usually leads to another.... Just a couple of ideas x
One thing you could do to encourage him is whilst going down on him, rub a lived finger over his ass but without penetrating, it's a very sensitive area so it should feel good. Or u could get him to bend over in the shower and let the water tease him. If you don't mind rimming, that will also let him enjoy the sensations without the fear of penetration. One thing usually leads to another.... Just a couple of ideas x
Wizzie, I do all that! And he doesn't mind me doing any of that! I think it's just a mental issue of 'boys don't do that unless they're gay' or something, which we all know isn't true. I've slid my finger in there on a couple of occassions (usually when he's a little bit tipsy or too horny to care) whilst giving a blow job or hand job and he's enjoyed it, but he still protests that it's not for him and I don't want to force the issue. He knows I adore his sweet cheeks and I could just kiss them all day, and I never press the issue of penetration.
He teases me with his bum which makes me think he's tempted and maybe he'd be okay if he could just try it that once, but it's a case of getting over that first hurdle... I kind of feel like he'd be okay with it if I just did it and it wasn't him asking, if that makes sense, but I'd hate to misjudge the situation and pressure him if he's not interested.
I know everyone will say just talk to him, but when I do, he protests, but his body language says otherwise.
My plan is that if I can worm anal play (for me) into everyday sex, rather than something I do solo, or when he's tispy or whatever, then it might become 'normal' (eek, hate that word) and he might be tempted or better, jealous of all the fun I'm having!
Thanks MrsP. I was thinking more about using sex toys anyways as I dont get much sex these days. I like that idea of using beads, but I dont have any small ones.. Time to look on LH! heh.
The Whale of a Sale has just started! Treat yourself and have fun!!! Happy Christmas!
He knows I own anal toys, but he just thinks its a bit of a joke! Hehe.
It's only been in the past 6 months or so that I've bought the toys for myself and he loves to hear that I've used them and it's not a secret, we chose them together etc. As for him, well, he's known from day one that I have a thing about ass and he knows that I worship his. I spoke to him some months back and explained that I'd like to make some acts (not penetration) more of a part of foreplay and I just got "I'm not into that". I know some of his friends have experienced it because he'll tell me that so-and-so said that his girlfriend did XYZ and that it was fantastic and that every bloke should try it, but then I get "But I'm not interested".
We give each other shows on a regular basis, infact probably more regular than intercourse, but I must admit, never with an anal toy as I've feared it'll put him off, as he says he's not even thought about anal sex with me.
He does however tease me by flashing his ass and spreading his cheeks etc and will say things like "You can have a bit of ass if you've been good" so he know's it's a 'thing' with me, but I just never actually get it!!! Argh!!!
This is why I posted the original question as I hope that if I am able to show that it's acceptable, or even mind-blowingly fantastic, he might relax a bit more. After 5 years, I'd hoped these sorts of things wouldn't be taboo in a marriage... Just a bit frustrated with the mixed messages...
My man is very insecure about anything being near his ass aswell. But I'm not seeking to get him involved..
Just to be clear, I wouldn't be trying to get him involved if I thought he absolutely didn't want to do it. I know you're not suggesting that I am trying to get him to do something against his will, but I just wanted to mention it for the benefit of anyone reading.
My frustration and desire to get him involved is based on the fact that I believe from years of experience with him that it is something that he's interested in, but that he just wont take that leap and try it and admitt it.
If he does take that step and then says for sure it's not for him, then fair enough, but to hint at it and enjoy what I do there, but then to dismiss it after, is confusing and I can only assume he's uncomfortable about admitting he enjoys it - I want to take the worry away and show there's nothing to be embarrassed about if he enjoys it.
You seem to have a good handle on things and as you say if he sees you enjoying it enough and can get over the 'gay men' complex, then maybe he'll give it a go in the future. If nothing else he will always get the pleasure of watching you play x
Hubs has since actually given me the green light to tease his bum on regular occasions and recently, I came out of the bath to find he'd created a kind of bondage boutique in the bedroom, he tied me up and near enough sat on my face begging for some rimming, so I am one happy bunny! I found it so hot that he was forcing me to do it and I think we've turned a corner now in the sense that he feels he can ask for it and he knows I don't think it's crazy! It always gets super hot and sexy when he offers his bum to me, so it's a win-win situation!
