dontav1 wrote:
I think it's because unlike penises a womans vagina can/does change over time like too much penetrative phallic (penis) shaped toys or fingers will "ruin" things... Whereas at least in sex you can scream at your OH for all the damages lol.... I would suggest she get something like a bullet or lelo nea/lelo siri or something of the clitoral massage type if she's really worried about something like that.
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But this just isn't the case and has no science to back it up.
The fear of being 'stretched out' by too much sex is bandied around in our culture because we sure do love to scare women out of enjoying sex. It's a key part of 'slut shaming.'
A vagina is a muscle. Strong, equipped with kegels and every time you use it, every time an orgasm sends spasms through those muscles: it gets stronger. Child birth can change things but proper kegel exercises after birth has given many women a level of 'tightness' that they had before birth.
When you work up to larger toys it is not indicative or how tight you are. It's indicative of lube, practice and relaxation.
Your quip about screaming at an OH for the 'damages he has done to you has really disturbed me. Kinks and safe words aside, sex isn't meant to hurt. And if it does, people stop and talk about it because sex should be pleasurable for both genders. They don't shout and consider it normal.
A lot of women in our society are still told that enjoying sex, solo and otherwise, is dirty and not what 'ladies' do. We can't base all our theories on how much women masturbate on the women we know, there's usually a bias that's influenced by common factors of culture, upbringing yadda yadda yadda.
What we can say is that everyone is different. Some men masturbate a lot, some men don't. It's the same with women and everyone has different technique. Women, theoretically, should masturbate more because we are less influenced by a 'recovery time.' It's easier for a woman to spend all day pleasuring herself than man.
Keep in mind that women who report a lack of interest says as much about our society as it does a woman's sex drive.