fairehlights wrote:
Bri, what a dick'ead. Ignore them, these people are usually so insecure about something themselves, they just bully others.
I don't have any horror stories really, just that I'll be chatting to girls and getting on really well, and then they'll just stop replying.
There was also one girl who seemed really interested, we met up and I stopped over at hers, and then she never spoke to me again... I was kinda like ''wtf?!''
Not just guys that notch the bedpost.
Pretty much my entire experience on them has been a joke. I had somebody who profiled as FAT BASTARD harass me for a bit.
Yep I turned my profile to women only most of the time as I was sick of sex requests dirty or obscene messages being sent from blokes.
I am consistently amazed by the "it's only the internet, it's not real" response. Well, you might be playing a pretend troll online, but other people are real, with real feelings. If you wouldn't say it to my face, why is it ok to type it?
Sorry to all that have had bad experiences. I'm really scared of putting myself out there. I don't think my confidence could take it. :(
Caliente wrote:
I am consistently amazed by the "it's only the internet, it's not real" response. Well, you might be playing a pretend troll online, but other people are real, with real feelings. If you wouldn't say it to my face, why is it ok to type it?
Sorry to all that have had bad experiences. I'm really scared of putting myself out there. I don't think my confidence could take it. :(
I wouldn't want to put you off trying it all together. To be honest, the it's very easy to spot a douche bag from thier weird message and the best tatic is to just not reply to them.
The other side of this is there are plenty of genuine and nice people on these sites too. When I was on OKcupid I went on dates with absolute strangers (2 men and 2 women), and every single one of them was absolutely lovely. Although there wasn't a sexual or romantic spark there sometimes, everyone was nice and I had a really great time chatting to them, and the final person I met is now my financee. Incedently, we were 99% matched on Okcupid's matching system, which I didn't believe in at first.
My advise to anyone starting online dating is to be nice to people, don't respond to assholes (or take to heart anything they say), and treat every date as if you're going to meet a good friend for a chat. That way there's no pressure, and if it doesn't work out, just move on.
Also, from talking to friends, I think you get way more assholes and time wasters on Tinder than on other sites. I've heard of people who are in monogomous relationships "playing" on tinder for the ego boost of people saying yes to them, when they have no intention of ever dating anyone. This doesn't happen so much on dating sites like Okcupid and plenty of fish. I was on both of these sites and OKCupid appealed to me more, I think you have more laid back alternative and left leaning people on there, whereas POF seemed to have more corperate bussiness type people on it, who I didn't have much in common with. That could have just been my area though....
fairehlights wrote:
Bri, what a dick'ead. Ignore them, these people are usually so insecure about something themselves, they just bully others.
I don't have any horror stories really, just that I'll be chatting to girls and getting on really well, and then they'll just stop replying.
There was also one girl who seemed really interested, we met up and I stopped over at hers, and then she never spoke to me again... I was kinda like ''wtf?!''
Yeah seem to get a lot of that on POF and even Match.com, quite frustrating as they seem interested!
Haven't had much luck with Tinder, so haven't had any nightmares ha ha.
I've not even had a single message reply on POF. Only had 1 message on Tinder but went nowhere. :( I check it often and swipe a lot too.
Not Tinder or POF, but a swinging site. I decided to meet up with a guy I'd been messaging, thought I was in luck pulling a hunky guy.
Got to his place, completely different man, about 20 years older than the pic. He immediately confessed to stealing somebody elses pic, as he knew he'd not get much interest.
Oh god, what did you do? He obviously hadn't thought through the long term consequences of that....Purring-Pussy wrote:
Not Tinder or POF, but a swinging site. I decided to meet up with a guy I'd been messaging, thought I was in luck pulling a hunky guy.
Got to his place, completely different man, about 20 years older than the pic. He immediately confessed to stealing somebody elses pic, as he knew he'd not get much interest.
I found my previous partner on a dating site, it didn't last as seems the only way he could express feelings and emotions was via the internet, whereas in real life he had no emotions at all. it was like 2 completely different people. Also he still seemed to think that it was fine to chat and look on dating sites whilst we were together because it made him feel good. I think someone people can only live in a virtual world.
Just wondering how on these sites that you detect say someone just looking to have an affair?Before any one adds 2 +2 to get 5 , I am not looking for an inroad to have an affair! I am happy as i am .
But I would imagine this could be a not so pleasant experience thinking someone was single when they arn't.
mysteron wrote:
Just wondering how on these sites that you detect say someone just looking to have an affair?Before any one adds 2 +2 to get 5 , I am not looking for an inroad to have an affair! I am happy as i am .
But I would imagine this could be a not so pleasant experience thinking someone was single when they arn't.
That's true, I'm sure that happens, but I'd hope people looking for that would go to somewhere like Ashley Madison now and be transparent about it.
I think a bigger problem on these sites are people in relationships who have no intention of dating anyone else but who enjoy the ego boost of having people contact them or swipe right.
Jezebella wrote:
mysteron wrote:
Just wondering how on these sites that you detect say someone just looking to have an affair?Before any one adds 2 +2 to get 5 , I am not looking for an inroad to have an affair! I am happy as i am .
But I would imagine this could be a not so pleasant experience thinking someone was single when they arn't.
That's true, I'm sure that happens, but I'd hope people looking for that would go to somewhere like Ashley Madison now and be transparent about it.
I think a bigger problem on these sites are people in relationships who have no intention of dating anyone else but who enjoy the ego boost of having people contact them or swipe right.
Whilst not right , I can understand the old Ego boost situation. I get an ego boost myself when I get chatted up at weekends in the pubs but I tend to tell that in the early stages that I am taken so as to not to waste their time .My Mrs takes a very much different view !
Other than few than few out there rude messages, people just wanting a fuck and time wasters. These people are easily spotted.
I found my experance enjoyable i met my current bf on POF we met in march.
I don’t have any myself but one of my friends from work met a guy from POF. They had a nice little coffee date at Costa. Just coffee, no coke and we all joked that he didn’t even offer to pay for hers. I know I know, equality and all that but still ;)
Well she said it was awkward throughout and definitely wasn’t a spark except the next day the guy started messaging her asking her to be his girlfriend and that he was in love with her. She declined.
Still messaged on and off. Last year he told her that he got through to X Factor Six Chair Challenge for the boys category. She told us all about it so a load of us were all there patiently waiting to see him on there. We never did. After it had aired he text her to say he had been kicked off before he managed to compete in it but couldn’t find a way to tell her. Apologising for disappointing her and that he’s going to walk away from her life.
Interesting chap.
She’s also had a guy she was messaging on POF come into where we work (clothing store) and Just mingled around the area for a long time. I walked over and she told me about him so I just watched him as he continued walking around one stand for several minutes until I think he got the hint and left.
She knows how to pick ‘em.
I met G on POF but consider myself lucky. Had some odd experiences including meeting one guy for a casual coffee to be told I wasn’t single anymore. Bit of an assumption! Another smacked my arse on way into a pub. Few weird messages too “I’ll leave you looking like a painters radio” erm no thank you 😂
I've never been on a proper dating site, but met MrSpider in a Freeserve chatroom, 18 years ago! I don' t recall there being any dating sites back then, I think plenty of hookups occurred from chatrooms though.
We'd both been 'in recovery' from bad relationship breakups and neither was on the look out for a new partner, we both just wanted to chat and make like-mindedfriends.... we chatted for 6 months then met up in real life...the rest is history!
So I think these sites can work really well... it was great to build a new relationship by just talking for so long - we lived over 400 miles apart so meeting wasn't a easy thing, so we talked about everything and got to know each other on a very deep level before the pressure of a physical relationship, which neither of us were ready for...I won't lie to you, we soon migrated from chatrooms to MSN private messaging and often the chat turned dirty - I mean, really dirty lol. But it worked well for us.
Asked one girl once how her weekend was going as an opener.
Her response, had 1 guy Friday night, 1 Saturday night fancy making it a hat trick 😂😂
Had been chatting with someone on OkCupid for maybe 20 minutes when they asked how long I had been single, then told me they hadn't slept with anyone for x number of years, apart from their social worker and escorts of course! I don't judge but after such a brief chat that didn't exactly put me at ease! I'm just not suited to online dating!