I work at weekends in a small cream teas caffe near where i live and there is a man who come every sunday by him self for a pot of tea and a toasted tea cake (nothing unusal about that)
resently he has started to keep leaving us his busness card (apparently he is a photographer)
what i find strange is how he did this:
i came to clear his tray away and he started talking to me asking me how often i worke there, am i at school or coledge, what my name is? i didnt find this too strange as he was on his own and it isnt uncommon for people to be friendly and talk to me as i potter around their tables but he then says "this is who i am" and put his busness card into my hand. it felt a bit like he was trying to chat me up concidering the questions he asked and how he put his card into my hand.
i showed the other girls at work his card going "look i found out who the tea cake guy is" after all he is a regular and and we have wondered what his story is for a while. they said he had given them his card before too.
the next day he came he left his card again. on the tray this time.
recently he seems to be coming in more and today he kept smiling at me (in a "oh we talked the other day didnt we" sort of way) of course i smiled back polightly, he said "i really like those tea cakes. i could have eaten 5!" we only put them in the toaster and you can most likely get 5 for £1! so it felt a bit like he was trying to explain his being there and for some reason i felt slightly uncomfortable around him.
i told my mum about this guy and she said that it did sound a bit strange and to be carefull
after all, a middle aged guy on his own who keeps giving young girls his busness card (especaly after asking them questions about themselves) who starts coming more often after talking to one could come across as if he is after something.
of cours this could all be nothing and he might just be trying to be friendly or something. i wouldnt want to get him in trouble for that and its not like anything he has done is overly strange or unexplaiable. Itis only when you put everything together that it seem at all odd.
i'd be a bit wary.He could be harmless but you never quite know these days.Be upfront and simply tell him you are feeling a bit uncomfortable and would like it if he stopped.
so its not only me. i dont want to be upfront as i never like being rude to customers and its not like i can pin point things that in themself are weard or unexplainable.
funguy1234 wrote:
think he is just trying to chat up young women, if you dont like it tell him to stop or say "yes my boyfriend is a photographer"
i see what your getting at here but if he's genuin it might lead to lots of questions about what sort of photography my boyfriend is into etc.
I'd be wary. It might be worth looking at the card and trying to track him down online to see if he has a genuine business, though I certainly wouldn't phone him.
It sounds like to me he likes to take photographs of women. He may possibly waiting for 'you' to ask him to take some shots of you rag doll. He's fed you some line and is waiting for you/somebody to bite!
Deffo be wary of him though. If you were my daughter I'd want to just sit in your shop to get a look at him. Just keep him at arms length.
It sounds like to me he likes to take photographs of women. He may possibly waiting for 'you' to ask him to take some shots of you rag doll. He's fed you some line and is waiting for you/somebody to bite!
Deffo be wary of him though. If you were my daughter I'd want to just sit in your shop to get a look at him. Just keep him at arms length.
SG
from the picture on his card it looked like he takes mabey political or cultral shots but you could be right. after all it wasnt landscapes and it's not like you would put picturs of young girls on your card if thats what you wanted.
funguy1234 wrote:
be wary but dont scare him, smile and just be normal, he may tip you big :P
now you mention it, i dont think he does tip. if he did perhaps i would put up with it more :)
Cat Lady wrote:
I'd be wary. It might be worth looking at the card and trying to track him down online to see if he has a genuine business, though I certainly wouldn't phone him.
this does sound like va good idea. unfortunately i didnt keep the card as i wasnt at all interested in his photography or contacting him. if he leaves one again i shall do some digging dont worry.
He's obviously after something. It's naive to think he's not. He keeps handing you his business card for crying out loud. Why would he do that if he didn't want you to contact him outside of your work?
And yes it would make me uncomfortable, but I assume he will eventually get the hint and stop pestering.
I had this several times in my job. We are nice and friendly to our customers and always talk to them. Unfortunately there are always a few that then get the wrong idea from that. From people who stay and expect you to chat with them for ages and then start treating you like their best friend (lonely people who dont have anyone else) to those who do want a date or more and keep pushing things further asking more and more personal questions each time.
Its hard, I've had some really awkward customers, most are put off by the mention of a boyfriend but there are others that wont be (those that just want a friendship mainly). I keep thinking I should just go in and do my job whilst remaining polite "oh thats nice, sorry but my boss just asked me to go and do something so I can't chat" but I've been doing the job years now and being chatty is a hard habit to break, besides that most of the customers love how we are more personal rather than "hi, thanks, bye".
very interesting ork. that is what i thought mostly as i've had people talking to me befoe etc. and i wouldnt want to scare anyone away. sometimes things give you an unexplainable weard feeling though.
i've decieded that if he does it again ill keep the card and look into who he is. ill still be polight and friendly unless he does anything exceptionly odd in which case ill talk to the owner of the shop. im not scared at the moment but being handed busness cards does seem odd but could suggest multipu situations.
If he makes you uncomfortable, you don't need to justify that to yourself or anyone -- go with your gut. Trust it, it's giving you that feeling for a reason!
Are there other staff in the shop that could serve him? I would just completely avoid and ignore him, if I were you. I know that's not always possible in a work environment, but any attention you give this guy is just feeding him what he wants.
If he makes you uncomfortable, you don't need to justify that to yourself or anyone -- go with your gut. Trust it, it's giving you that feeling for a reason!
Are there other staff in the shop that could serve him? I would just completely avoid and ignore him, if I were you. I know that's not always possible in a work environment, but any attention you give this guy is just feeding him what he wants.
yes there are others, i usualy work with two other girls (all of us who work there are female, the guy who worked there got sacked) the other girls say he has given them his card too but im not sure of the exact sircumstances with them or how they feel about him.
This sounds really suspicious to me. I don't think it's normal for an older gentleman to repeatedly give out his business card to young women. If he's a regular photographer looking for business why not just say to one of you "Is it ok if I leave a few cards here for your staff and customers?" But that doesn't sound like what he's doing. Might be worth a mention to the boss if he keeps it up.
I can understand why u feel weird. If i was in ur position I would also feel weird.
However, if its a smallish town where there arent many cafes and this guy has a habit of popping in every Sunday then it sounds like its a routine for him. As Ork suggested he could be lonely and have many reasons for his lonliness. He possibly used his business card as a method to create conversation but in doing so has created an awkwardness.
Asking ur name, how often u work in cafe and if ur at school are very general questions. Before I was a nanny I always worked in hopsitality. We had the regulars (single older men) who came for dinner 3/4 times a week. They were always very talkative and wanted to know ur life story and always wanted to tell u their life story. It can be off putting especially when they give u those funny looks like u say. Did i ever think one of the men would cause me any harm - NO- because after they had finished, they paid and left. They didnt wait outside for me or anyone else.
Yes, I'd be wary but i also think its abit extreme practically stalking him on the internet to confirm or deny who he says he is. IF however he starts hanging about until u've finished work etc then I'd invite ur mum or dad down to collect you and maybe address the situation then and make the owner or manager of the shop aware of his behaviour.
If he leaves his business card again - politely say - oh we can advertise you photography business in our shop window. He will either fluster up and ask u not to or be happy for the business opportunity.
If he leaves his business card again - politely say - oh we can advertise you photography business in our shop window. He will either fluster up and ask u not to or be happy for the business opportunity.