Wow feel stupid and lied to by someone I should have been able to trust!

Sex Tips & Talk
1

So I went to a catholic school and we did sex Ed (in a church using protection!) and well since then I've learnt that they lied about a few things

Things they lied about include:
"You can't get any STD with a condom" YES YOU CAN
"You can get pregnant very easily through anal" well I've just looked it up it's virtually impossible to get pregnant through anal (that's right yeah?)

I'm really mad because I knew the right answers but we got brainwashed into thinking we were wrong and they were supposedly sex ed professionals! Seriously feel stupid and kind of let down that they'd feed us the wrong information

2

Through anal itself, no but if the semen transfers to your vagina it is possible. Unlikely, but there have been enough cases that it isn't 'rare' as such. But yeah. Not sure I'd trust a nun with Sex Ed if I'm honest. Too much guilt associated.

I had absolutely no sex ed. I grew up in the Deep South of America and they just skipped my grade because of a loophole. I didn't even know that the penis went inside the vagina until I was 15. I just thought it rubbed against your clit. Embarrassing now.

You have every right to feel angry.x

3

They weren't nuns they were an outside professional agency who were teaching all the local secondary schools (there's at least 5 I can think of) told the lad he was like aww you can't babe google it honestly but he found it funny and I do too but I have a habit of going over stupid things in my head like summer I accidentally saluted a cadet who gave me something I was like WHY DID I DO THAT?! for days after haha

4

Jeez am I gonna have to rehave the talk at my age?! 😂

5

Don't worry Kirsty, for a long time I thought sex could only take place via artificial insemination and you couldn't see the OH naked. And that the female orgasm was a big lie. It's controlling men to blame for this in my culture. Sex is something never spoken about yet you're always asked "are you pregnant yet" once you're married. You can't even say the word sex. People assumed I had conception issues when I had my first child after 5 years of living together. Jeez there's something called contraception and I'm a fairly religious person. Gah! Don't blame you for feeling angry. I'm pretty annoyed too when I find out the truth.

6

Wow and I thought my school were bad? Thing is say there's minimum of 200 kids per school they teach (only one year group per school) that's 5 schools so 1000+ kids they taught wrong. Bad isn't it?

I've learnt more about my body and myself in Lovehoney than my school ever could teach me (my parents tried to explain but I wouldn't listen and I wasn't particularly old but then schools were like don't worry we do it ages 9-10 and secondary schools do reproductive system and periods in more detail ages 10-11 we only had the "proper" sex ed lesson because of a raise in teen pregnancy (about 8 in our school alone, they had a massive group of friends and all had boyfriends and all vowed to get pregnant)

7

Kirsty you need to try and drop thinking about all of that! Jesus you have enough on your plate without rehashing the past like that..

If you need to look these things up then do so, but stressing out over all that is just a waste of time and energy! better spent on self help in your head right now!

8

Btw it's the society I grew up in that ingrained these views, not the school. Sex ed did open my eyes in a good way but a lot does get lost in translation, imagine a maths class and you forget how to work out a sum. A bit like that. For example, I thought condoms were really rubbish yet I've had no mishaps. I'm grateful that the Internet is my friend and the doctors/nurses. Lots of info out there and keep asking on here too if you're not sure.

Ozz is right, don't let it get to you. The great thing about sex is we constantly learn and I think that's what keeps the spark alive. Just look back and laugh and all the silly things you were told.

9

If those people lectured at all schools in your area, I suppose it hardly had anything very much to do with the fact you went to a Catholic school...

And I guess they went for, shall we say, "simplifications". It may sound ludicrous to you at your age but I imagine that, for example, an idea behing telling young teens they cannot get STDs when they use condoms could very well have been opting for "the lesser evil"; yes, these is still a chance of contracting STDs and getting pregnant but 'if we tell them that the kids may think it is not worth bothering to use condoms at all'. And the possibility of semen transfer form the anal area to the vaginal cahnnel is not all that unlikely, after all.

Believe it or not but I rather suspect that even a well-meant desire to approach various sexual issues in an "age-appropriate" way may sound rather "amusing", or somewhat incorrect, to an adult. But on the other hand, when lecturing on, well, anything, do you not try to take in the consideration the age of those who are going to listen to you? I guess you do.

And oh, if you want to know what a genuinely bizzare sex ed lesson looks like... When we were in our early teens, we got (among other things - there were several lectures of varying qualities) shown a "movie" (and trust me, it is virtually incredible to describe it with mere words, you would have to see it to "appreciate" how insane it was) of sorts that was supposed to explain sex and pregnancy. It was set in quasi-medieval castle (and, by the way, the acting was truly atrocious!), yet it involved 'modern' things like sanitary pads. A prince was marrying a princess; fast forward to the wedding night scene - the narrator (in a voice that was as boring as they get) said "the princess was now a full-grown woman", and the young couple had sex (while the narrator kept on making comments of the "the prince had to be gentle since it was his love's first time" sort). Fast forward a couple of months - there was a shot of the princess throwing up into a bucket while the prince was at a joust; the narrator chastised the prince for not being at his pregnant wife's side - the prince looked shocked and ran home, to lovingly (imagine the most idiotic facial expression in the world) lay his head on the princess' belly... (It also mentioned that because the princess was pregnant, she did not need any sanitary pads or tampons because she would not bleed until she has given birth - and this, too, can easily be incorrect, plenty of women have "quasi-periods" when they are pregnant.)

Incredible. Ever so badly made. Ludicrous. Yet am I angry or disappointed (or even maimed for life) that they decided to showed us a movie like this? Nope. I am perhaps a bit amused (okay, the sarcastic part of myself is actually very much amused) but I do not feel like I have been "cheated" or "lied to" or anything... It was just a rather misguided, yet probably well meant attempt at sexual education...

10

What's sex education ? It was none existent at the mixed grammar school I went to. .

Sex Education was provided by my parents on one evening out of the blue. Not sure who was more embarrassed me or them .

Any way Ozz is right you shouldn't be concentrating your energies on what's happened in the past , as you can't changel that. You have got lots to think about now with the the task at hand with your relationship in the present.

11

We were shown how to put a condom on a banana and told about periods, but that was when we were 15 ! The majority of us had already started out periods for heavens sake !

You can't ever forget the past...... but learn from it and try not to over think it. Concentrate on the here and now and move forward with your life and current relationship x

12

Thanks for all the advice guys just felt daft but somehow haven't scared him off despite having very little knowledge but he found it cute (I have no idea how lol) just annoying that they might've taught so many of us wrong that's the annoying part you're meant to trust these people and yet they give wrong information

13

I really wish sex education was better in schools, though honestly, you're lucky you were taught anything at all (about using condoms that is)

I went to Catholic school and we didn't have sex education, it wasn't taught. We had Health class which consisted of the boys being put in one class room and the girls in another. Boys were taught that deodorant is not a substitute for showers and personal hygiene is important. Girls were told that they would start their periods soon and this is what a sanitary towel looks like (Tampons were not discussed). The school would not teach about condoms or the pill, those things were 'abominations' because sex was had for procreation between man and wife thus protection should never be used.

In fact, during our periods talk we were told that you only bleed a small amount during the week and that you would NEVER come through your sanitary towel. Well I always did, a lot. My periods were so heavy and inconsistent that I was the girl who would never leave class first just in case I'd left blood on the chair, it was a horrible experience. I went to the school nurse and she said I would need to be looked over and told me to go to a clinic. My friend and I went to said clinic and my school nurse was there, she said that she wasn't allowed to discuss birth control on school grounds but that I should start taking the pill to regulate my periods and make them less heavy (didn't work) but it's shocking that she wasn't allowed to suggest this to me in school.

14

Blimey, this all makes the sex ed I had look rather good! Now you know better, try not to let the past stuff boil over in your head. All you can do is take your new knowledge, enjoy yourself and learn and share on here :)

15

Terri JJ wrote:

We were shown how to put a condom on a banana and told about periods, but that was when we were 15 ! The majority of us had already started out periods for heavens sake !

You can't ever forget the past...... but learn from it and try not to over think it. Concentrate on the here and now and move forward with your life and current relationship x

I remember the banana demonstration well ...imagine the scenario where the school nurse performing said demonstration is your very conservative mother ...still recovering from that one ...;) x hope your well Terri x
16

I agree with Briona. While the things they said may not have been 100% accurate, the general gist of the statements are true. It is far simpler to say what they said than to quibble over a tiny percentage. Also if some teens heard they could still get STIs when they use condoms, some might decide not to, thus massively increasing their risk.

I only ever went to one sex ed class (I used to bunk off school regularly) so all I learnt was how to eat an ice lolly suggestively. It was part of an A-Z of sex video. It was under O for outercourse. I think you can fill in the gaps for what it represented...

17

Brionna I wish that movie was on you tube sounds highly entertaining. We were given a book about periods with a classroom lecture in 4th grade. Reproduction and STDS in 7th grade and another round in 10th grade.

18

Friday13 wrote:

I agree with Briona. While the things they said may not have been 100% accurate, the general gist of the statements are true. It is far simpler to say what they said than to quibble over a tiny percentage. Also if some teens heard they could still get STIs when they use condoms, some might decide not to, thus massively increasing their risk.

I only ever went to one sex ed class (I used to bunk off school regularly) so all I learnt was how to eat an ice lolly suggestively. It was part of an A-Z of sex video. It was under O for outercourse. I think you can fill in the gaps for what it represented...

Yes, yes, yes, I had the A - Z of Love&Sex video too! :D I remember when we watched "I for Intimacy" and there were these cartoon drawings doing things to each other and one of the boys (sat next to his girlfriend) in my class turned round to the teacher and was like "miss, seriously, can you turn this off, I don't want to see this, this is really cringey, etc" and she was nearly weeing herself laughing at how much he was complaining, how awkward it was and the fact that the video was really bad and old and she just said "no, we're leaving it on....... cos it's funny" XD

I remember as well, when we were practising the putting a condom on (we had pole-dildo-like things instead of bananas) and there were two nice blue ones that were plastic and large, about 7.5 inches, whilst the others were made of cardboard and were smaller. Naturally, there were mutterings of innuendo and jokes about the blue one obviously being the "right" size and the teacher (same one as above) literally held a blue one up and went (to this effect) "now, boys, I know you'll all like to think you're this large, but let me just tell you now, this is not average, this is way above, so don't try to kid yourselves". Shot down! XD

Tbf I'm happy with the sex ed I received generally, though most of it I already knew. Such is the perks of google, if I was ever curious, I just looked it up (on proper medical websites I might add).

19

It's metres ting seeing everyone's quality of education on sex. We had the whole just girls just guys chats and we were told "you only bleed a max of a tablespoon of blood never more" yeah that's how mine were so bad one time I bled all down my legs and onto my feet! We were never told about erections, ever, I found out by friends conversing and accidentally watched porn, never told about orgasms only the guys were told about masterbation but too late in their life, when I first pleasured myself it was a complete accident and this weird feeling came over me and it was nice but it didn't seem to stop and I went really light headed and panicked. I had to fast forward the porn I'd accidentally put on to find a woman sprawled on a chair legs wide open and i was like... Oh! It is normal!

I'm more annoyed they give us the whole condoms fully protect you shit I never believed that one but what about those that do?

Most of my actual sex education came before the actual sex ed lesson from friends and the Internet and my parents explained some but I was stubborn so embarrassed I sat with my fingers in my ears.

20

That was meant to say nice no idea why it changed to metres ting