Hey everyone
So I'm in a fairly new relationship, we've been together a couple of months but he can only cum with a hand job.
He was single for a few years, so from what I understand it's hand grip syndrome.
How can I re-sensitise him?
I know there was a good thread available but I can't find it.
Thanks everyone 😘
try lots of oral sex to sencetise and forplay lots of touching and feeling sexy feeling will work
Thank you. That is a good idea and I will when I see him. The problem is we're in a LDR, so I need some ideas for when he's alone xxjohnandkatie wrote:
try lots of oral sex to sencetise and forplay lots of touching and feeling sexy feeling will work
send pics or skype texts ect
Am no expert was just thinking, could he masturbate with a softer grip and maybe a bit more "all over" to try and get him overall a bit less reliant on the grip-wham-bam-done method, maybe fantasise more and draw it out, get his body used to the thought of having someone else pleasuring him, even though you cant always be there? And maybe he could try something like ice on his tip or something to mimic a bit of sensation from something like a blowjob??
Can he avoid masturbating for longer than normal before he sees you?
I have the same problem sometimes but i have an enlarged prostate which affects it sometimes.
I can say that for me abstenance doesnt work.
Some nights we can be at it for hours and still nothing. Then other times i will cum eventually. Even the OH cant finish me off by hand some nights.
Im hoping that over time it will get better and easier but in my case i learned to orgasm through prostate massage and that gives much more intense orgasms without the mess and my OH was shocked at me when i first got her to sort me out in that way. But if he cant cum theres not much he can do about ... I know i cant as ive had it with previous partners as well in the past. Now im more than satisfied watching her cum and cum an cum and me end up with an internal orgasm.
I sometimes think us men have more issues with sex than you women do. My advice would be to try n get him off with a prostate massage. He will love the experience just as much until such a time as he can ressume normal service 😆
Try a blindfold, gentle teasing, and if it looks like he might come, don't stop or change things just let it happen. Lots of sensory play. Does he like to use a but plug? This might refocus his mind.
If your comfortable, tie him to the bed or a chair, so he can't play with himself and sit on the draw unit or another chair and masturbate untill you come. The trick is to make him come while having no hand contact. Weather it can be through oral, or sensory play or prostrate massage is up to the two of you.
I understand it's a new relationship, and that some of these things are probably difficult to try or suggest so early on. Worth a try.
I didn't even know there was such a thing as hand grip syndrome so I am as much use as a chocolate fireguard. However with the Lovehoney forum I'm sure you'll find an answer. All the best Delilahxx
Plenty of foreplay and Tease him .Don't be too eager to remove his shorts either .Tease him through the material and keep him "wet" .Don't forget guys are visually stimulated so dress up in lingerie or sexy costume to knock him dead and keep it on as long as you can. Sometimes if you lightly lube your hands as well that can help as you can touch the really sensitive part around the head. Relaxing your guy can go a long way as well. Dimmed lighting,warm room,tidy room and perhaps some background music.
Have you been to your local GU clinic? They gave me some advise when I had a similar issue some years back, and I have never looked back.
Thank you 😊 I only learnt about this from Lovehoney myself!Couple looking to spice things up wrote:
I didn't even know there was such a thing as hand grip syndrome so I am as much use as a chocolate fireguard. However with the Lovehoney forum I'm sure you'll find an answer. All the best Delilahxx
Thanks everyone
Lots of things to try. Hopefully time and patience and a lot of teasing will help
I would say he needs to stop masturabating like that. Would him using a sleeve or a male masturabator help shift the sensation for him?
There's no quick solution to this one, D, but some rules will help, well namely 1 rule.
1) under no circumstance should he be allowed to make himself orgasm using his usual technique.
Spinning off from that is abstinence - his body needs to relearn how to orgasm in different ways. Try setting a goal of 28 days with no self touching for him.
It's tough but for the long term good. If you find him touching himself, no pizza!
Ha ha ha. I can't believe this article isn't about Kung Fu.
This site is so informative. Good luck with it. I'm sure the good people on here will point you in the right direction.
Sum Sub wrote:
There's no quick solution to this one, D, but some rules will help, well namely 1 rule.
1) under no circumstance should he be allowed to make himself orgasm using his usual technique.Spinning off from that is abstinence - his body needs to relearn how to orgasm in different ways. Try setting a goal of 28 days with no self touching for him.
It's tough but for the long term good. If you find him touching himself, no pizza!
Thanks sub
Short term pain for long term gain!
Also found a website with some good ideas 👍
DreamOfTheEndless wrote:
Ha ha ha. I can't believe this article isn't about Kung Fu.
This site is so informative. Good luck with it. I'm sure the good people on here will point you in the right direction.
Haha!
Thanks. I do love how you can ask any questions and get lots of informative replies 😊
My hubby had a similar problem when we first got together, he couldn't cum really without serious pressure, he said he used to wank up to 3 times a day in his teens so may have got used to this. He has used a Fleshlight for over 10 years now for his masturbating and doesn't have a problem no so maybe try one to replace his hand.
sarahkitty wrote:
My hubby had a similar problem when we first got together, he couldn't cum really without serious pressure, he said he used to wank up to 3 times a day in his teens so may have got used to this. He has used a Fleshlight for over 10 years now for his masturbating and doesn't have a problem no so maybe try one to replace his hand.
That's great to hear.
So now he can cum through sex or bj can he?
I did buy a stroker for him for his birthday so that's the first thing we'll try