I have always wanted to have anal sex with a woman. Is this gay? That I love to go up my wife’s bum.
@user1283 - there is nothing gay about anal sex and personality I prefer it over vaginal sex
It’s a personal thing and many consider it dirty and others may say why use the back door when the front door is available… but it’s good to try
Just ask her - tell her you been dreaming or fantasying about it and see her reaction 
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Be prepared to explain that you are not gay and dont want anal sex with a man. Some women will think that way. Also be prepared to take what you expect to give. I have told my husband if he wants to do that with me i would expect him to take a dildo the same size as his penis up his bum before i would agree to something like that.He declined but he now knows my expectation.so if its not an automatic no but she is unsure tell her that she can do it to you (pegging).if. She can see you can do it she may be more willing to try.
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Can I ask/challenge some things you said here…
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why would anyone think anal sex = gay?
Being sexually or romantically attracted to your own sex = gay. Anal sex has nothing to do with it. Do you disagree? -
I don’t agree that you should necessarily ‘be prepared to take what you expect to give’. I think that’s a bit of a naive view.
Equality is not uniformity.
‘Fairness’ isn’t always what looks uniform, and this can be for a number of reasons. More broadly speaking, what you are talking about is applying equality of outcome vs equality of opportunity. Outcomes aren’t always the same, nor (in my view) should they be. I could give endless examples, but here are some easy ones…
I do ‘most’ of the day to day things, cooking, driving, holiday planning etc. She does most of the life admin, cleaning, gardening etc. My point being that we’re comfortable with what we do and don’t do for eachother, and enjoy doing some things the other doesn’t. My point being that not everything is exactly the same.
It’s the same with sex. My wife likes receiving rough sex and I like being rough with her. She enjoys being submissive and I like being dominant. She enjoys my penis up her ass, and I like giving it to her… so what does it matter if I do or don’t like anal play on myself?
By the same thought process and for consistency would you say that if I want a blowjob I should be prepared to suck a dick myself?
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Sorry some women do think it is gay. I certainly used to before i became more enlightened. They feel that if a man wants anal sex he has a yearning to have sex with a man. Now i am not saying i do anymore, now lets get that straight i understand about prostate orgasms for men and can understand why they might want to receive. I.can also understand why a man might want to have anal with their partner but as i have said not all women do so if he is asked by his wife he needs to tell her why. I know my husband told me the only reason why he would want anal is because he thought it might give me pleasure. Now i have history with that from over forty years ago but wont go into it as i dont want to scare anyone thinking about it.
I know my sister, when her then hubby asked her, she said no because she thought that he wanted a man he didnt tell her why he wanted it so he went to prostitutes to get it instead and marriage ended shortly after.
The thing about receiving as well as giving i believe, now this is my belief, so some women will also think this others not, if you want something you should be prepared to take it as well. I think the woman would be more inclined to agree if she can see that her partner is also willing to try it as well. If a bloke said oh no i wont do that then she will see it as something he wont do but expects it of her so she will likely say no especially if she thinks well if he wont do it there must be something that is not pleasant about it. Obviously if she agrees straight away that is different.
The thing is anal sex can be scary for a woman so anything that can be done to alleviate her fears is surely a good thing. If at some point he decides that he doesnt enjoy anal but she does then thats fine its all good but at least they would have discovered what they like.
If a bloke wants a blow job then he should be prepared to give oral to his partner that would be fairness.
What you do between yourself and your wife is through choice other people need to make their own choices based on what they want in their relationships.
Are you wanting a sexual experience with another man? If not, then not it’s not gay.
If you’re looking for a different type of sexual intimacy with your wife, then that’s not gay.
Maybe she will wonder about your sexuality, but so long as you’re not insecure about it, should be all good.
Maybe she will agree to it, so long as she can peg you for that experience on her side, so just be open to that if she’s open.
You need to talk with her frankly about it and explain why you’d like to explore this new thing for both of you.
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Definitely not gay! Only counts if your doing it up another man’s bum 
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@user1283 This is the third or fourth topic you have created all about effectively the same thing.
Please note the forum rules regarding duplicate topics.
If you do add a new topic, please also be more specific with the subject so it’s clear what you’re asking, rather than something general like ‘anal’.
I’ll be merging all of them into one, so please continue to use that one for any new questions, or search 
existing topics where you may find the answers you are looking for 
My Wife and I were having anal sex last night and she said it was more painful and intense than giving birth. Is that actually true? Also, do you prefer to go on all fours or like my wife bend over??
Was this your first time? It should not be painful. If not maybe try another position. My wife likes from behind in the spoon position.
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If done with prep and patience it should not hurt. Did you use lube? Any warmup with a finger, butt plug, or other toy?
Use more lube than she thinks she needs, lubing both her anus and your cock. Warm up with some foreplay, licking, toys as above before going for full anal intercourse.
If it’s your first time trying anal sex, you may want to pick up a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women by Tristan Taormino. The book outlines the do’s and don’ts of anal sex and has lots of info re play, toys etc.
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Please dont try penetration with your penis without practice with butt plugs and smaller dildos first with plenty of lube. It takes time. From an experience i had over forty years ago no one wants a trip to a&e like i did which can put you off for life. Yes it does hurt like hell without lube especially if it is unexpected. Havent had children so would not know if it was more painful than that though.
Edit -Sorry didnt see your other posts where it is obvious that this was not your first time doing anal so cant comment on why it would hurt if it is something you do regularly. More lube perhaps.
I agree with others - always prepare for anal with a butt plug in for about half hour before and douche as well
Apply loads of lube both to the anus and your penis
How do you prevent drying out? My wife and I do anal but she seems to become dry despite using lube.
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Regular reapplication is all I can suggest.
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What lube are you using?
There are anal lubes that are a bit thicker and supposedly last longer so you could try that if you haven’t already.
Silicone and oil based lubes last longer but, in my opinion are not as thick so not as ‘cushioning’. I struggle with painful sex and my doctor suggested mixing a water based lube with an oil based lube to give the cushioning of a water based lube and the long lasting effect of the oil. This also has the added advantage of being even more slippery because oil and water don’t mix so you get a ‘two layer’ effect. The lubes I was recommended were the Yes water based and oil based lubes but you could probably use any water based and oil based lubes.
Reapplying the lube is often necessary for anal though because the anus doesn’t produce its own lubricant.
Lots of lube to start with and then re apply after time
We’ve used many different lubricants for anal, and we’ve always had to reapply cos it’s gone dry. Then we moved to liquid silk after many recommendations from the members. We’ve been using it for a while now and honestly it’s the best lube we’ve used, and we’ve never had to reapply any during our sessions.
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This is good to know @Dirty-Wife, thank you! Is it water based? Do you have any idea what is different about it that helps it last longer? No worries if you don’t!
Hey yeah it’s water based, I’m not sure really it just feels different, it’s not sticky and doesn’t feel tacky. Sorry I’m not much help 
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