Apologies.... sorry

Off-Topic Chat
1

The cold steel of the moderator's axe descended on my thread 'Confess..', last night. To be fair, from the start it was running hard against the boundaries of the forum rules. A topic like that isn't the wisest. It's one that is going to struggle to stay in the realm of 'sweetness and light' and not enter the zone of 'not nice'. Thanks to those who stuck their necks out and posted their bit of confessional fun. Apologies to those who might have been offended. And also to anyone who felt compelled to RUN for the 'report this' button. But look on the bright side...haha!....

A little bit of exercise does you good. : ))

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I was very suprised to see the context of that post ,but not that you actually posted it. But no harm done.

You have apologised to those that may have been offended,and gave people like me a right laugh.

3

jeez , another one deleted ??

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rubysoho wrote:

jeez , another one deleted ??

I know : (

I'm just hoping it's not 'three strikes and your out' ! Better say 'bye' to everyone while I have the chance : ))

5

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

But, to be perfectly honest, I don't think it is fair to put blame on report button users. The report button users are just doing their bit to help moderate and not let any arguments or negativity on the forum come to anything. It is what we are ALL supposed to be doing.

Some people don't like that though, think of it as taddling on teacher, or something - I don't get it. But the mods won't remove something if they don't agree that it is/could be problematic.

Yeah.... Avrielle. All sound stuff you wrote. Re the 'report' button, I couldn't resist the ever-so-little jibe! It does seem a bit 'kill-joy' and 'sneaking to teacher' for someone to use it. But yes, the place would descend into chaos if members were reluctant to use it. I appreciate that the moderators don't monitor forums other than 'Inside LH'. So it is up to us to keep everything 'squared-away and ship-shape'.

6

Think this through, guys. The lead post talked about underage sexual activity. Those threads are always taken down right away. If nothing else, LH has to protect themselves legally.

7

In all honesty Lifebuoy, I did wonder if your story was streching credulity a little. It probably is wise to keep those sorts of confessions to oneself given the nature of the internet, or the pub. That said, I didn't use the report button as It was fairly entertaining nonetheless.

rose hip wrote:

Think this through, guys. The lead post talked about underage sexual activity. Those threads are always taken down right away. If nothing else, LH has to protect themselves legally.

Not sure under-age sex is the bit they didn't like rose hip.

8

Mr Socks wrote:

In all honesty Lifebuoy, I did wonder if your story was streching credulity a little. It probably is wise to keep those sorts of confessions to oneself given the nature of the internet, or the pub. That said, I didn't use the report button as It was fairly entertaining nonetheless.

rose hip wrote:

Think this through, guys. The lead post talked about underage sexual activity. Those threads are always taken down right away. If nothing else, LH has to protect themselves legally.

Another confession..... I do have a slight problem with not 'giving much of a toss' about polite convention. My excuse could be that my (first) degree was in Fine Art in the 70's. Losing inhibitions and free-thinking was absolutely encouraged as a means of evolving a capacity for creativity. Okay.... it's a bit 'thin' !!! I still have a resposibilty to play my part in not messing-up the Forum.

Ooooo Rosehip! I hope you're not right. This is an attitude worthy of the Edwardians. I hope the 60's liberated us enough to feel we can talk about our youthful sexual awakenings (in the right, open-minded company). For boys this phase certainly starts around about the age of 12 to 14. Most girls, maybe it's not so different.... and maybe it's even younger nowadays.

My opening to the thread was 'marginal'.... but I would admit as much only because it involved a dodgy second party. MrSocks..... both of you..... I gratefully acknowledge your caution.

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The rules are there for everyone as is the law, having a fine arts degree doesnt give you an exemption I am afraid.

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gunther wrote:

The rules are there for everyone as is the law, having a fine arts degree doesnt give you an exemption I am afraid.

LOL !! ....Very true. A limp excuse!

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Lifebuoy wrote:

Another confession..... I do have a slight problem with not 'giving much of a toss' about polite convention. My excuse could be that my (first) degree was in Fine Art in the 70's. Losing inhibitions and free-thinking was absolutely encouraged as a means of evolving a capacity for creativity. Okay.... it's a bit 'thin' !!! I still have a resposibilty to play my part in not messing-up the Forum.

My opening was 'marginal'.... but I would admit as much only because it involved a dodgy second party. MrSocks..... both of you..... I gratefully acknowledge your caution.

1) Fair enough! I'm medical…refined conversation is rare amongst us.
2) Your mitigation is "a bit 'thin'", but I'm all for free-thinking — it's how the world progesses.
3) You seem like a decent chap…it would be a crying shame if anything potentially very embrrasing (bestiality certainly springs to mind) not to mention illegal, were to be exploited by anybody to your detriment.

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I think this may have been the issue more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoophilia_and_the_law

But you do have to be careful about talking about underage acts via the forum. There's sometimes when it's ok, such as confessions of loosing your vaginity, and generally the forum offers support to anyone who suffered abuse at a young at, etc. But these posts are done less porngraphic than the one you posted.

You must also remember, this is a public forum, and that means animal wealthfare peeps can be reading and may get offended, child protection as well, and also don't forget that some children may find their way onto these forums (I remember myself at school going onto loads of forums as a kid, many 18+).

People do get offened by topics like that, and they are removed to protect people, who may find it emotionally upsetting or even impressional. Remember you have no idea about what someones sexual history is, and while we can't always focus on the positives of sex, we have to consider how we we feel regardless when writing something and put ourselves in other peoples shoes too.

13

The Nymphomaniac wrote:

I think this may have been the issue more http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoophilia_and_the_law

But you do have to be careful about talking about underage acts via the forum. There's sometimes when it's ok, such as confessions of loosing your vaginity, and generally the forum offers support to anyone who suffered abuse at a young at, etc. But these posts are done less porngraphic than the one you posted.

You must also remember, this is a public forum, and that means animal wealthfare peeps can be reading and may get offended, child protection as well, and also don't forget that some children may find their way onto these forums (I remember myself at school going onto loads of forums as a kid, many 18+).

People do get offened by topics like that, and they are removed to protect people, who may find it emotionally upsetting or even impressional. Remember you have no idea about what someones sexual history is, and while we can't always focus on the positives of sex, we have to consider how we we feel regardless when writing something and put ourselves in other peoples shoes too.

Yes..... I more or less accept what you say, Nympo. I suppose my reservation is that.... 'No one who goes into a lion's den has an entitlement not to meet lions' !!

In other words, if we were all worried about someone 'innocent' reading something 'unsettling' in the forum.... we would have to confine ourselves to discussing the weather. You get what I mean? This is a place for raunchy sex talk (amongst other things). There are limits.... and exactly where you place them when you post something, is a matter of fine-judgement...... and this fine-judgement is fairly easy to get wrong. Hence the descent of the moderator's axe!

14

Mr Socks wrote:

Lifebuoy wrote:

Another confession..... I do have a slight problem with not 'giving much of a toss' about polite convention. My excuse could be that my (first) degree was in Fine Art in the 70's. Losing inhibitions and free-thinking was absolutely encouraged as a means of evolving a capacity for creativity. Okay.... it's a bit 'thin' !!! I still have a resposibilty to play my part in not messing-up the Forum.

My opening was 'marginal'.... but I would admit as much only because it involved a dodgy second party. MrSocks..... both of you..... I gratefully acknowledge your caution.

1) Fair enough! I'm medical…refined conversation is rare amongst us.
2) Your mitigation is "a bit 'thin'", but I'm all for free-thinking — it's how the world progesses.
3) You seem like a decent chap…it would be a crying shame if anything potentially very embrrasing (bestiality certainly springs to mind) not to mention illegal, were to be exploited by anybody to your detriment.

MrSocks..... I bow..... tremble even... (no irony meant) at your perceptive and persuasive genius. Great stuff. : ))

15
Lifebuoy wrote:

I appreciate that the moderators don't monitor forums other than 'Inside LH'. So it is up to us to keep everything 'squared-away and ship-shape'.

Nope - we read every single post, every single thread, in every single category. Our overseas staff moderate during their 'working hours' which means it's a 24 hour operation. The 'report post' button is used sometimes, but 9 times out of 10 we hide or close a thread at our own discretion because it's not something we want to read or promote. Our forum is great for making friends and sharing opinions, but it does ultimately represent us as a company.

Lifebuoy wrote: This is a place for raunchy sex talk (amongst other things). There are limits.... and exactly where you place them when you post something, is a matter of fine-judgement...... and this fine-judgement is fairly easy to get wrong. Hence the descent of the moderator's axe!

Nope again - This isn't and has never been a place for raunchy sex talk. In our rules we state:

The Lovehoney Forum is a friendly place where you can be open and honest with like-minded people, have some fun and share advice and tips. The Lovehoney Forum is for genuine, non-judgemental sex-positive chat and it's far from sleazy. The forum doesn't exist for people to find cyber sex, dogging, phone fun or real life dating.

It's a friendly, open space for people to chat and unfortunately we have to have rules to keep everyone smiling. :)

16

Lovehoney - Lucy wrote:

Lifebuoy wrote:

I appreciate that the moderators don't monitor forums other than 'Inside LH'. So it is up to us to keep everything 'squared-away and ship-shape'.

Nope - we read every single post, every single thread, in every single category. Our overseas staff moderate during their 'working hours' which means it's a 24 hour operation. The 'report post' button is used sometimes, but 9 times out of 10 we hide or close a thread at our own discretion because it's not something we want to read promote. Our forum is great for making friends and sharing opinions, but it does ultimately represent us as a company.

Lifebuoy wrote: This is a place for raunchy sex talk (amongst other things). There are limits.... and exactly where you place them when you post something, is a matter of fine-judgement...... and this fine-judgement is fairly easy to get wrong. Hence the descent of the moderator's axe!

Nope again - This isn't and has never been a place for raunchy sex talk. In our rules we state:

The Lovehoney Forum is a friendly place where you can be open and honest with like-minded people, have some fun and share advice and tips. The Lovehoney Forum is for genuine, non-judgemental sex-positive chat and it's far from sleazy. The forum doesn't exist for people to find cyber sex, dogging, phone fun or real life dating.

It's a friendly, open space for people to chat and unfortunately we have to have rules to keep everyone smiling. :)

Couldn't have put it better myself!

17

I'd also like to make it aware that sexual consent is involved here. The rules make it clear that topics like the one you started is breaking the rules. Guessing that so9me people who complained must've read the rules, proves that it was something they didn't expect, thus hadn't consented to viewing posts of that material. I just thought I'd make you aware that consent isn't just performing a sexual act, it's also consent to be exposed to it, in what ever formate. The rules are there and every member who joins should have read them and consented to what they allow and what they don't =)

18

Who decided this was a place for "raunchy sex talk", sex is a normal and healthy activity which is discussed here usually in a rational and occasionally humourous manner. Perhaps you may try reading back through all your posts, you have only made 334, and count how many are apologies for previous provocative posts. You seem to delight in sailing close to the wind with forum rules and "digging people in the ribs". To be honest I think you have completely miss understood what the forum and its members are about. Bestiality underage sex and incest are illegal, you have touched on all three in the last 24 hrs.

19

gunther wrote:

Who decided this was a place for "raunchy sex talk", sex is a normal and healthy activity which is discussed here usually in a rational and occasionally humourous manner. Perhaps you may try reading back through all your posts, you have only made 334, and count how many are apologies for previous provocative posts. You seem to delight in sailing close to the wind with forum rules and "digging people in the ribs". To be honest I think you have completely miss understood what the forum and its members are about. Bestiality underage sex and incest are illegal, you have touched on all three in the last 24 hrs.

Well said!

Thank you gunther.

20

gunther wrote:

Who decided this was a place for "raunchy sex talk", sex is a normal and healthy activity which is discussed here usually in a rational and occasionally humourous manner. Perhaps you may try reading back through all your posts, you have only made 334, and count how many are apologies for previous provocative posts. You seem to delight in sailing close to the wind with forum rules and "digging people in the ribs". To be honest I think you have completely miss understood what the forum and its members are about. Bestiality underage sex and incest are illegal, you have touched on all three in the last 24 hrs.

Lovehoney - Lucy wrote:

Lifebuoy wrote:

I appreciate that the moderators don't monitor forums other than 'Inside LH'. So it is up to us to keep everything 'squared-away and ship-shape'.

Nope - we read every single post, every single thread, in every single category. Our overseas staff moderate during their 'working hours' which means it's a 24 hour operation. The 'report post' button is used sometimes, but 9 times out of 10 we hide or close a thread at our own discretion because it's not something we want to read or promote. Our forum is great for making friends and sharing opinions, but it does ultimately represent us as a company.

Lifebuoy wrote: This is a place for raunchy sex talk (amongst other things). There are limits.... and exactly where you place them when you post something, is a matter of fine-judgement...... and this fine-judgement is fairly easy to get wrong. Hence the descent of the moderator's axe!

Nope again - This isn't and has never been a place for raunchy sex talk. In our rules we state:

The http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/ is a friendly place where you can be open and honest with like-minded people, have some fun and share advice and tips. The Lovehoney Forum is for genuine, non-judgemental sex-positive chat and it's far from sleazy. The forum doesn't exist for people to find cyber sex, dogging, phone fun or real life dating.

It's a friendly, open space for people to chat and unfortunately we have to have rules to keep everyone smiling. :)

GUNTER

....my friend.... pop back to the thread 'Porn name alternative' and read my response to your accusation about 'incest'. You will see that this was all a big misunderstanding... on your part...... and what we need to do is have a cyber-handshake and a good belly laugh about it !!

Also read my answer regarding 'raunchy sex talk' below.

Regarding your accusation about me delving into 'under-age sex'.... that is not JUST a little 'below the belt'.

Confiding about your own 13 year-old sexual activity is pretty innocuous....everybody has been there in their own experience. Talking about an adult having sex with someone under-age is plainly illegal, offensive and entirely out of place in this Forum. Let me repeat and make it quite clear..... implying that I was discussing and promoting sex between an adult and a juvenile is entirely misleading....and I am not happy that you failed to draw the distinction. (If you could see my face now, you would see that I am really serious about this point)

I appreciate that you feel very indignant about your very mistaken supposition about what I said about your baby.... and that this indignation has greatly coloured what you have written here. As I have said.... go back to the thread... and, hopefully, you'll cool down and even see the funny side of it. : )

LH LUCY AND JESS

..... Thanks for the clarification on rules and the inappropriateness of 'raunchy sex talk'.

My use of the term 'raunchy' is derived from the front page of the Forum. Check on the left-hand side under 'Sex Tips and talk'. I'll save you the journey.... it explains that Sex Tips and Talk is the place to CHAT, MOAN AND GROAN.

I suggest you do a small survey amongst your staff and ask them if they think that could imply 'raunchy sex talk'. Raunchy means 'hot' in this context. If moaning and groaning while in the process of talking about sex doesn't imply 'hot', raunchy content, then I've been in this place under a misapprehension.

If that isn't enough justification for my assumption that 'raunchy sex talk' is legitimate in the Forum, then just have a read of what is commonly being written in posts. In my judgement, it's pretty uninhibited, in-yer-face, speak it like it is. Quite a lot of it is a mild turn-on. In short, it's pretty damned 'hot'!! 'Cold', sanitised sex talk is what you would get at the doctor's surgery. That's not what we have here..... and thank goodness!

Maybe we are talking at cross-purposes. You think by 'raunchy' I mean 'dirty (sleasy) sex talk'. Well, no, I don't mean the Forum is for that purpose. 'Up front, speak uninhibitedly, without being vulgar' is what I mean..... 'hot' but not 'dirty'. (My brain's starting to hurt !).

Listen.... I am now feeling pretty 'ganged-up on'. Maybe I have brought this, in part, upon myself (the 'raunchy' 'moan and groan' thing notwithstanding). Some of my threads have arguably been 'sailing close to the wind' as Gunter points out. This isn't an attempt to undermine the Forum (I love it here). It's an attempt to 'get things going'..... sensational chat..... hot debate....big laughs. And, no doubt, I've allowed myself to get a bit carried away in this vein.

Plainly 'getting things going' isn't something that everyone wants.... and LH, for business reasons, really wants this place to be non-controversial.... and invariably 'nice'

So I need to button it. End of story.

Other than to say 'sorry' for giving you reason to shut down some of my threads.

Rotters : )) That's a joke.... okay ?! : ))

No.... point taken. I will take a lot more care in future. And if I don't.... then I won't be able to blame you for what might happen to my profile.

And now everybody.... go mop your brow and get a cup of coffee !!