iv got 4 sisters at the mo, theres 6, 7, 9 and 21 years between me and them, and another on the way soon, so they all have at least one sibling nearer there own age and i never had that, so i say sod the hard work, no one said it would be easy, i want different for my boy lol each to there own ay. not just that, im very much a stay at home mom and i dont want to be popping one out just as the last ones in school and it be another 10years before i can get back in to work i wouldnt feel right leaving then with a childminder so i could work :/. i need a reality check lol. my poor poor man External Media what do i ut him though xx
I'd prefer if there was a bigger age gap between me and my brother - there's only 2 years between us and we had me going through teenage years closely followed by him. Then just as I'm maturing he's still acting like a petulant teenager and it causes more than a few arguments. I think we'd get on better if there was a bigger age gap.
As everyone has said, all you can do is relax and take the stress off!
Stop panicking - you've been on the pill and had a baby (both can "pause" or even cure the progression of endo), the chances of your endometriosis affecting your chances of conceiving are low. I have endo and won't be even trying for a baby for a few more years so I'm on the pill to save it wrecking my insides too much. The more you worry, the less likely you are to conceive so you have to just throw caution to the wind. If it happens between now and march, it happens - if not, how much does it really matter - is it really just age gaps that worries you? Are you just projecting your feelings about children from your previous relationship? Have you reevaluated how you feel about them since? Why don't you talk to your OH about his opinion on age gaps? You may change your mind on what's "best" and be able to relax more.
iv got 4 sisters at the mo, theres 6, 7, 9 and 21 years between me and them, and another on the way soon, so they all have at least one sibling nearer there own age and i never had that, so i say sod the hard work, no one said it would be easy, i want different for my boy lol each to there own ay. not just that, im very much a stay at home mom and i dont want to be popping one out just as the last ones in school and it be another 10years before i can get back in to work i wouldnt feel right leaving then with a childminder so i could work :/. i need a reality check lol. my poor poor man External Media what do i ut him though xx
I'd prefer if there was a bigger age gap between me and my brother - there's only 2 years between us and we had me going through teenage years closely followed by him. Then just as I'm maturing he's still acting like a petulant teenager and it causes more than a few arguments. I think we'd get on better if there was a bigger age gap.
As everyone has said, all you can do is relax and take the stress off!
Stop panicking - you've been on the pill and had a baby (both can "pause" or even cure the progression of endo), the chances of your endometriosis affecting your chances of conceiving are low. I have endo and won't be even trying for a baby for a few more years so I'm on the pill to save it wrecking my insides too much. The more you worry, the less likely you are to conceive so you have to just throw caution to the wind. If it happens between now and march, it happens - if not, how much does it really matter - is it really just age gaps that worries you? Are you just projecting your feelings about children from your previous relationship? Have you reevaluated how you feel about them since? Why don't you talk to your OH about his opinion on age gaps? You may change your mind on what's "best" and be able to relax more.
Adx
ah your all such leval headed people and im insane lol. its a varietly of things really, i always wanted children young as i knew i wanted to do that whereas career wise i knew i didnt know and didnt want to waste time study for some thing and change my mind, like wise with partying, not my cup of tea im afraid, so we decided that children would come 1st. now i guess i feel that with my boy going to nursery soon i wont be needed and should go back to work or studying but what WE do BOTH know is that we want more.......so i go back to work, study, have another one and start all over again, back to work, study bah. nonononono.
i think the issue (just incase no-one had noticed 0_0 is that maybe i am a bit of a control freak losing control of the future? and i should infact sit down with a glass of wine chill out and let fate take control.......yes? gosh
I think you've hit the nail on the head missO and yes I think you're nuts for thinking just because your boy goes to nursery you become obsolete! He'll be there for a few hours a day, will appreciate his mummy picking him up rather than some child care person (I'm not bitter about having a child minder honest :P) and you can use the free time to keep on top of other things that he needs - like clean clothes and fresh food etc. A woman's work is never done - you'll be filling up your days with things for your lad even when he's not there! Really - all your losing, is the ability to give him lunch?
You'll still be doing everything else still and if you get pregnant whilst he's been at nursery for a while he won't get jealous that the new baby gets to be at home with mummy whilst he has to go to nursery because by that time he'll be all settled and happy!
Before this it was temp charts, watching every lil thing we ate, no booze, no processed food, i was a shocker but I was also desperate.
With my 2nd child we moved house and decided to get trying as we thought it would takes years...I was relaxed and just decided to see what happens..what a shock to be pregnant the 1st time of trying.
Um. I know nothing about baby making (except what you learn in school) But as far as I'm aware ther is a lot of stress on the right time of the month etc. Maybe just have a sexy night like just before your period so you know there is very little chance of getting pregnant so it can be put right out of your mind for one night and just make it as romantic as possible with no pressure and just enjoy some good ol' pleasurable sex.
Excellen advise! cheers AA, will deffo be doing this. i think one night a week we should maybe use a condom and just have sex for the sake of having sex too :) xx
ive not had a baby or trying but i did want to reply
so here goes!
i think like the others you need to really chill out and rememeber that you can get preggers at any time of the month, ovbiously there is more of a chance at ovulation but still a chance at any time of the month if your have unprotacted sex, which you are.
so dont just make a big deal about having sex when you ovulating ect ect just go for it when you want it, youve only been trying for a few months and your OH isnt really sure if his ready yet anyway so just by doing this your taking the pressure off both of yourselfs, your also more likely to concive when you just go by the well if it happens it happens as your both be less likely to be stressed about the whole thing and will also be having sex for love not just for the purpose of making a baby.
to be honest with you him saying his not sure and would rather wait untill xmas or the new year i think should bother you more, he is obviouasly not ready if his saying this and the fact this is causing you to have some problems at the mo is worrying as if you do concive then this could cause even more problems further down the line. a baby doesnt make a relationship better it cause more hard work once its arrived. However if he knows your off the pill and he isnt wearing condoms then he cant really blame you for anything as if his not ready then he should be rubbering up each time!
good luck with it all and just try to relax its only been a couple of months
I know how you feel. I've got 3 kids and getting pregnant was so different with each one. 1st one got pregnant 2nd month of trying. Couldn't believe how easy it was. Then I wanted them really close together so started trying for no 2. After 4 and half years of heart ache, tests etc. Decided couldn't cope with trying anymore, obviously was only meant to have one etc etc. So I gave up trying, moved on with my career and got a new job. Combination of not working at the same stressful place, not worrying about getting pregnant and as it hadn't worked for so long, being very lazy about contraception found out I as pregnant after 1 month in the new job. Child no 3 was a complete surprise especially as OH had just started talking about having the snip - that made an interesting conversation. The biggest thing that effected my fertility was stress, so trow the calendar away and just enjoy each other and it will happen.
For years i couldnt decide whether to have another baby or not. I would come off the pill and start trying. Then something would happen to make me think it wasnt the right time, so we would give up and i would go back on the pill. Finally my husband said enough was enough we either keep trying untill it happens or give up completely. So i got serious and started trying to only have sex when i was at my most fertile. Month after month i was disappointed. Them my mum got ill and i had to nurse her so all thoughts of babys went out of the window. We only had sex occasionly in between hospital visits and the such. Eventually my mum died and sex with my husband was more about comfort then anything else. 6 weeks later i was pregnant. 13 months i tried my hardest to get pregnant and then it happened when i wasnt thinking about it. My son is now 3 and a half and makes me laugh every single day. It will happen when you dont put yourselves under so much pressure. Take your time and enjoy the practice because you certainly wont get much once a baby has finally arrived.
thanks for all your fab advise guys, after having an "OMG i think im preg" moment last month its really put things in perspective, as far as im aware im not yet (cue the slowest 2 weeks of my life) but the other half is suddenly massively excited that theres a chance i could be, so now we are both looking forward to a new baby hopefully some time soon, its taken stress off me especially as i know we are both on the same wavelength....so watch this space :) xxxx thanks again xxxx
thanks for all your fab advise guys, after having an "OMG i think im preg" moment last month its really put things in perspective, as far as im aware im not yet (cue the slowest 2 weeks of my life) but the other half is suddenly massively excited that theres a chance i could be, so now we are both looking forward to a new baby hopefully some time soon, its taken stress off me especially as i know we are both on the same wavelength....so watch this space :) xxxx thanks again xxxx
Whooo! I hope one turns up soon! (obviously not just on your doorstep)
