Bdsm

Sex Tips & Talk
41

There is no option to DM, there used to be on older versions of the forum but not now. Anybody asking will be new or it’ll be an old thread.

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42

Ahh I see, that’s probably why then.

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43

I’ve always loved Fetish Fashion and so my thoughts started there…
I have dabbled but never felt 100% comfortable as I was with the wrong partner.
Being free to explore without boundaries or labels is working well for me, literally going with the flow.
I have had fantasies of being both dominant and submissive.
Sexually I love to tease and be teased and have just started reading and practising a little Bondassage with is a perfect marriage for me and can lead onto numerous activities….

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44

@KAT75 . You say fetish fashion- what type of fetish are you into

I’m a big fan of lingerie and bring a dominant so wet look to lace is my game :lovehoney_heart:

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45

Fetish fashion… have to say it be women’s lacey or silky panties they just feel so dang good…Bdsm always been somewhat curious and a lady friend once was very encouraging of the idea we watch movies on it alot but her Job took her for real across the country so Mmmm still curious :thinking::thinking:

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46

@Strnlce - were you looking to be spanked or to spank her :paddle:

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I have a kindsorty high tolerance for pain I think…I want to be submissive

48

@Strnlce
I love my submissive husband- he loves a good hard spank and I love giving him the punishment he deserves

You need to openly ask your partner that you want her to spank you - and as she gets used to it - take it up a notch and I’m sure you will soon have a very sore bottom :paddle:

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49

I love to be dominated by my wife. My favourite it to be handcuffed, blindfolded and then my penis either slapped or whipped. There’s just something about her being in control that is super hot.

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50

@KentCouple1990
I love spanking my husband cock - I use a 12 inch ruler and spank the shaft :straight_ruler:

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51

Yes! That is epic. My wife has a flogger (I think it’s called that) but also loves to give it a nice big slap. When I’m rock hard it feels just incredible!

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52

:hushed::thinking:

53

It does feel wonderful doesn’t it? I especially enjoy the time between one hit and the next one, just wanting for her to slap my cock again. Almost begging for her to do it again and again.

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54

Very well explained Gareth. I was fortunate to have a partner that was into kinks the way I was and because of my involvement in the adult entertainment industry I had contacts I could talk about different ideas with. As my interests grew, I was invited to various alt lifestyle play parties which really expanded on my idea and interests. Absolutely correct that simply being into BDSM does not mean you are into all aspects of it. Some may feel panicked if restrained. Others may not want to be hog tied and spanked hard. Some may have issues with humiliation or gender play. And yet other may actually have a challenge with being in control. Just pick out the parts you do like and forget about the lifestyle label.

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55

That’s exactly what we do. The term BDSM encompasses so many activities and degrees of each activity. We have only recently moved into this area of kink and are still learning about each other, what we enjoy and how far we are prepared to go so we pick and choose what we want to try.
So far it’s working very well for both of us.

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56

We have not really dived into BDSM but we do have some tape, handcuffs and under the bed restraints that get used a few times of the year. I did just mention to my partner that I feel like I need a submissive sessions. Usually I’m the one doing the restraining and spanking but I think the stress and control that comes with my job, I need a release. I don’t think I’ve ever really been tied down. I’m afraid that I’ll dive in too quick :laughing:

I will definitely discuss everything and make sure we are both on the same page on where we want to start, if they even do. I do feel nervous that I’ll play it out in my head and get myself hyped up and be disappointed in the end. What are some tips when discussing with your partner and trying to find what you want out of it? Has anyone used videos to help describe what you want?

57

Oh yes, not just BDSM. If I’m honest, it is my main reason for watxhing porn.

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58

Lovehoney actually does quite a bit of sex ed, both on their website and youtube

If you are looking to explore more about BDSM topics I recommend these youtubers:
Evie Lupine https://www.youtube.com/@EvieLupine
Watts the safeword https://www.youtube.com/@WattsTheSafeword
Hannah Witton https://www.youtube.com/@hannahwitton
Sexplanations https://www.youtube.com/@sexplanations

These four are amazing, every kink/bdsm educator I know always recommends Evie Lupine and Watts the safeword.

With us personally we grew to love and be better at BDSM over several years.
It starts with talking about it and exploring it which sounds like you are doing.
Here’s some tips:

  1. Watch some of the youtubers I mentioned, explore some videos, learn from them, get some ideas, etc. I would caution against using porn because Porn is a performance, its designed to look good on camera for a viewer and is not necessarily realistic.

  2. Talk about with your significant other what you want and what they want. Discuss things you want to try, you don’t want to try, etc. When I started with my wife this looked something like:
    “hey, I want to try being tied town, and then maybe having you kiss me all over for 5 minutes. Is this okay with you, can we try it out? Do you have any issues?”
    or
    “hey, I was thinking I was going to bend you over and use a paddle on your butt maybe 5-10 times, is this okay with you? Is there anything else you want to try?”

  3. Start small and enjoy. You don’t need to make a huge 30 minute spanking fest as the first thing you do. Start with something like 10 smacks to the bottom and stop.

  4. Check in with each other frequently. Kink and BDSM are all about everyone involved having a great time. After a few smacks or after a few mins check in. “Hey, are you enjoying this?” “Is there anything you want?” “Is there anything you don’t want”. If you are just starting off with BDSM sometimes it can be hard to tell what you enjoy and you don’t enjoy so make sure to also check in with yourself too…yes, this might seem a little awkward and weird at first, but over time you will learn to listen to each other’s bodies and to your own bodies

I am really excited for you! BDSM is amazing, I love it.

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59

These are great! Thank you!