Hi there, I’m a male who has experience with oral sex etc but less with actual sex and am needing advice.
I am less endowed than average and have read that the best position in this case (especially with a taller female partner) is missionary and to focus on the clit. But how is this possible if I am less endowed when entering the vagina as the clit is so much higher up. Instead of going “in and out” am I supposed to just grind in circles inside of her, or just focus on an upward motion instead?
Sorry if this is confusing, would appreciate any feedback or answers!
ok, but i mean when we’re actually having sex, what positions would be best for someone less endowed and inexperienced? (Note: I know she is a lot more experienced than me but feel odd about telling her in advance about it)
I have found that the best way to stimulate the clitoris whilst in the missionary position is to lean slightly forwards/upwards, towards the head of your partner, thereby putting pressure onto the top of the vagina where the clitoris is located. You should feel the pressure between the two of you being applied on the top of your shaft and the top of her vagina.
That is our experience, but everyone is different and I’m sure others will have different advice to offer based on their own experience.
You could also try pushing yourself up on your hands so that you are not lying completely flat, therefore allowing your partner to stimulate her clitoris with her fingers, or you could try this yourself if you can do it one-handed!
All the best, make sure you communicate with each other and be patient, practice makes perfect!
Be on your knees when you enter her and use your thumb to stimulate her clit while you’re inside thrusting. Try different speeds and go from light to heavy contact with her clit. Ask her to show you how she likes to be touched and watch how she reacts, as sexy as it can be to watch, you need to learn to read her body. Watch what makes her breath catch, and her back arch.
I think that it is fairly rare that a female partner will be able to achieve orgasm through PIV penetration alone.
I would consider myself of average size and through sex in the missionary position, thevonly contact I would have with my partners clit, would be if I lay extremely flat and grind my pubic bone against it. This has never succeeded in bringing her to orgasm.
Usually we play with a wand on her clit as I enter her from a more kneeling position, still facing each other, with her bottom supported on a cushion or pillow. That way I can still thrust into her and she can use her wand on her clit to bring herself to orgasm with me inside of her.
Have the conversation with your partner - nothing wrong with wishing to maximise their pleasure and yours. In fact they should be pleased you want to talk about it before, during and after.
As mentioned above use a variety of motions and other things to stimulate your partners body. It’s multiple sensory points that build the best orgasms - not just focusing on the clitoris or the size of your penis ‘going in and out’ as you put it. Nipples, necks, backs, arms, legs, feet can all be incredibly arousing when stimulated to your partners satisfaction so have fun and experiment - but do encourage communication with your partner. Good luck mate.
thank you! why is it important to be on my knees when I enter? There is also a height differenc ebetewen us (she’ staller than me 1-2 inches) so wondering if it might not work as well?
Lean forward I guess… but the big thing will be to make sure you’re sliding against her. IDK why people say missionary is the best for that, since usually the thrusting motion will go perpendicular to that direction.
You might try having her on top of you, laying chest-to-chest. Similar contact as missionary, but lets her control it. She’ll know what she’s feeling and if you’re hitting the spot better than you will. Its one of my GF’s favorite positions with my husband. She just lays there and works her hips a bit.
If its really an issue, your partner might consider a VCH piercing. It goes through the clitoral hood, and puts a little metal BB between the hood and her clit. It increases stimulation if she’s having trouble.
How are you going to rub her clit if you don’t have access to it? Kneeling while you thrust gives you access…for the suggestion I gave you.
Your height difference isn’t going to be an issue, and 1-2" is nothing, so I suggest you stop making it a thing. People can be the same height and have different lengths of their torso or legs, this is why 1-2" of overall height is irrelevant.
Differences in leg length (if there is a difference) may mean you have to get creative in some positions such as doggy. She could be too high up on her knees or you could be higher up than her. Use pillows as aids or have her bent over the side of the bed so that you can stand, if your legs are longer.
i was watching some video and they said to focus on the clit when in missionary (the clit is higher up closer to her belly, than the g spot, which is that spot when you’re fingering her 2 inches in if i’m not mistaken) so that’s why i mentioned it
Ok so the clit is on the outside and the gspot is on the inside and they function separately, stimulating one doesn’t stimulate the other.
The clit is about 2" above the vaginal opening, if thats what you mean by being closer to the belly. The gspot is the about the same distance on the inside, if you’re using your fingers press them up against the vaginal wall and feel for the difference in the skin texture. Make sure your nails are clean, short and smooth so you don’t cut her. No ragged nails allowed.
In missionary your body is lying against hers, so you won’t have access to her clit bc your pelvic area will be covering it, which is why I suggested kneeling. Not just when you’re entering her, stay mostly kneeling while you’re stimulating her clit. Then you can move to other positions when you’re not.
If you want to stimulate the gspot with your penis, then you need the same motion as with your fingers, in and up. Unless your penis is very thick, you’re not going to be able to focus on her gspot in missionary, bc your penis won’t naturally do the in and up motion. A pillow under her bum will help or you changing your position. Ideally you want to be thrusting at an angle, in and up. There are loads of areas on her body that she will love to be touched though, so don’t miss those by only focusing on what your penis is doing.
My gspot doesn’t react to stimulation, not everyones does so don’t be disheartened if you don’t get the reaction you want. I have only ever orgasmed during PIV with my current partner and thats not bc of my gspot. Its bc of everything else going on, stimulate her brain first.
If you get her to lie on her back and you lift the leg nearest you, you can slide in from the side and rub her clit with your fingers at the same time bringing her to orgasm as you thrust your penis in and out. With this sort of stimulation you should get her to cum before you.
Before we have PIV sex I ensure my wife’s clit has had plenty of attention from my tongue and fingers. Thus she has had her orgasm before I’m inside her.
If you’re on your knees then her bum will be lifted up and resting on your thighs. Your body will be more or less upright wheras hers will be horizontal. That gives plenty of space for you or her to stimulate her clitoris with fingers or toys at the same time as you are moving inside her.
Brief bit of anatomy and physiology: female orgasm generally comes from stimulating the nerves in the clitoris. The clitoris is more than just the bit that can be seen, there’s a wishbone shaped internal structure that wraps around the vaginal entrance, and some people think that the G-spot is an internal part of the clitoris.
The above means that most women won’t reach orgasm solely from vaginal stimulation and will require some clitoral stimulation. One way to do this is for the male partner to be on his knees, allowing him to use his fingers to stimulate the clitoris. Another way is to grind the clitoris against the male partner’s pubic bone whilst his penis is inside the female partner’s vagina. Using a pillow may help because it changes the angle of the female partner’s pelvis. having a shorter than average penis is unlikely to be a problem, because most of the nerves are in the outer third of the vagina.
thank you! i’m sorry dumb so forgive me if this doesnt make sense,… so baiscaly im just doing missionary but raise one of her legs and side it in that way instead… and then rub her clit (or around the area) w finger finger i penatrate?
