What are all your lovely people’s thoughts about just being open and honest about being part of the swinging lifestyle?
Both myself and Lea have been having this discussion recently and feel it would be so much better to be able to be open and honest with people about where we are going for the night etc, without having to make up something and just being to honest if someone asks .
all opinions welcome 
We have started going to a sex club over the past year, we only have sex with each other apart from a little bit of glory hole fun. I think we will continue to lie about where we go and take it to our graves with us. I definitely wouldn’t want family members to know.
Sorry, what is the question? Whether we think people should be more open about if they swing?
Either way, I wish a lot of people would have less stigma around a lot of sexual taboos - incl swinging. Is this ever actually going to happen? In some aspects, and for some subjects… I think so. Like women masturbating etc.
I think that some should, but won’t - like swinging, threesomes, voyeurism etc.
I think that some probably shouldn’t be… but I probably won’t go into this one and will keep those opinions to myself.
Depends how comfortable you are with being people knowing and gossiping about it. They will gossip.
It’s a hot amd titillating subject isnt it, some will be wowed, some will be grosses out.
Also, every time you’ll mention it to someone that didnt know about it, you can brace yourself for an inquisition i expect.
I prefer honesty myself, but from my point of view, it’s a lot easier talking about owning a few sex toys too many than sharing oursevles with others sexually.
I guess it depends on why you want to tell people about your sex life. Someone innocently asking you what you’re up to at the weekend, really isn’t going to be expecting to be told you’re going to a sex club etc. It wouldn’t be fair to tell them that out of the blue.
You’ll know who will take it well and who wouldn’t but really if you want people to know, tell them in the right context.
It’s not really us wanting to tell anyone, more that we would prefer not to have to hide it or make up excuses etc
If someone was to ask us what we got up to, we wouldn’t just divulge that we went to a sex club.
Its more if our childcare would need to get hold of us or contact us in case of an emergency, it would be easier to just be able to be open and say " oh we are going to be at X club" instead of you may not be able to reach us etc
we wouldn’t want to go into any depth about what we get up to
Simply explaining you’re going out for the night is really enough. If your phone is in a locker, it may be worth checking it every few hours but otherwise, it’s not worth the upset that it may cause.
Things that seem controversial or not ‘normal’ only become normalised when ‘normal’ people discuss them openly with confidence and pride.
Yes it takes time after that for people to accept things as normal … but it starts with exposure.
I know one of my work colleague has a couple of friends who are into swinging.
I don’t know them personally. She does refer to them as the swingers, but not in a nasty way, she’s on the pride board at work, and we regularly mention “no kink shaming” in our team work chats…
Some people do come out with it. It’s just it will be mentioned, and somewhat the talk of the town, because it’s so rare it will get mentioned.
If you have kids (you just said you did) letting it out means they will eventually find out. You need to be aware of that.
Hi
We frequented the scene for a while, mainly playing between ourselves, apart from a couple of Other times, that’s another story 
I told a friend at work, but watered it down, saying we’d gone for the shits and giggles, just the once, done nothing but walked round, looked, laughed and left, pretty much.
(The truth being a million miles away)
Within a week or two, lots of people knew, I had banter about swinging and a bag load of gossip.
The occasional jibe still appears, years later.
Once the cat’s out of the bag it’s out for good, but for what gain?
It’s crazy hard keeping a weekends fun all to yourself, surrounded by vanilla friends, and it gets harder the longer you do it, and the more fun you have, you feel like you want to burst.
Guaranteed that who ever you tell will talk, and cos they’ve never been and can only go on carry on films, or Hollywood kinda fantasy, it’ll get Chinese whispered, exaggerated etc until you’re having rampant orgies round your house and labeled That Couple
Most of the men I know would give anything to have some of the weekends like we’ve had, and instead are bored, frustrated, given up, vanilla exsistance, and would be jealous if they knew.
It’s a huge thing for a woman to enter the lifestyle, and most are content with lying on their backs looking at beige ceilings once every few months to appease their husbands frustration, and out of duty.
Keep it to yourself, your dirty little secret, you gain nothing from telling people,the world isn’t ready for it yet, religion saw to that 
You never mentioned it was for childcare purposes in your OP.
Anytime I ever babysat for anyone, they left the number of the bar/restaurant on the fridge. Though I was 16-18 at the time and mobile phones weren’t a thing. Check your phones every hour or so, sure it’ll momentarily break the mood but you’ll know everythings ok at home and you don’t have to tell anyone anything.
I think from @JustAnotherPervert who works with someone who is gossiping about their friend and @MrGoodGuy who told someone and became gossip tea, theres an argument for keeping it to yourself.
I guess the more people you tell the more people will find out and potential gossip and judge, so that is something to be prepared for.
In terms of the babysitter do they really need to know? Don’t they just need a number to be able to contact you on?
I would be more tempted to go with @JoCat suggestion and break off every now and then to glance at your mobile, I appreciate that it will in most cases have been left in a locker, but that probably saves the blushes of your babysitter.
Think if you can be open about things and not embarrassed then that’s always a good point 
In an ideal world you could openly say where you were going but this isn’t the world sadly.
The bigger picture here is grown adults not being able to have adult fun without being judged and frowned upon, by people who have never even been to a club, but are experts on the subject.
The people who frequent clubs are usually the friendliest people you’ll meet, and the atmosphere is so warm.
Religion and stigma have made sex, and especially sex outside of a monotonous couple taboo.
Social edicts govern what we’re allowed to do or not do, isn’t it any wonder people can’t talk about sex - we’ve gone backwards, as even Roman’s attitude towards sex was better than ours.
A new generation is up and coming up a long way off, until then it’s dark shady clubs, upside down pineapple codes and hush hush conversations.
The good side is having crazy fun weekends that no one knows about, going back to work with a sly smile on your face.
I remember listening to some guys talking about their weekend in a night club, they’d snogged a few girls, a bit of touch and grope etc, and I bet I wished I was still single being able to do that!
I’d been to a foam party at a club, everyone naked, including us.
Sex everywhere, bjs, fucking, one guy in the foam having his cock sucked by two hot girls.
Glory holes, men and women.
Orgy room, we watched for a while .
And general sexy Fuckery til 2am odd, then back to the hotel for more fun, and bum fun in the morning.
But to my work colleagues, yeah we watched sat night TV and was in bed by 9!
Keep your night club, dancing around handbags and watching idiots get drunk and starting fights…
Some things are better kept secret…
Im yet to convince my other half that clubs are the way to go. He’s convinced that I’d be swooned by some other guy (we don’t involve other men at all) and that’s not the case. I keep saying to him it would make things so much easier than having to go on Fab and it would be a great place to meet like-minded people on our wave length. It’s still a no for now.
Over the past few years swinging has become a lot more main stream I guess. But…… there are still way to many people that judge regardless of what it is from being gay, trans, bi and the list goes on and on.
In our opinion as long as what people do doesn’t hurt or effect anyone negatively “live and let live” peoples opinion of me doesn’t matter to me so yes I agree it would be amazing if it was socially acceptable to swing and be who you are and so what if it crops up in convosation
Every now and again I think about going back on Fab, and then I go on for a nosy and log off probably within 5 mins.
Maybe Fab is better in other locations but Belfast is shite!
FortySomethingWife
The first time we went, we had a brief chat before about what we wanted, which was nothing.
We’d go, check it out, maybe shag in a private room, and see what it’s all about.
And that’s exactly what happened.
If anything it was disappointing, kinda imagined it’d be a Fuck Fest, and to be honest there wasn’t a lot going on.
Many visits later to different clubs, it was pretty much the same.
It can be as deep or as shallow as you want.
You really have to socialise in order to start getting anything sexual, and then it’s all at your own pace and agreed limits.
No means no and that’s enforced.
Of course u get chancers, especially single men, but we used to avoid single men venues.
Have a chat with your other half and say you’d like to check it out, and at any time you didn’t like it you’ll leave, no argument.
But I think you’ll be Suprised, the atmosphere the friendliness, soon relaxes you, it’s not Eyes Wide shut or 50 shades.
Most people keep to themselves, or a few clicks, and you’ll see occasionally nudity or sexual acts, but generally it’s just people socialising.
Later on people drift off to private rooms, or couples make out on their own.
Up to you what you do, if anything at all, we’ve seen people who hardly do anything sexual and go for the scene.
It makes a welcome change from vanilla bedroom, and you’ll get braver as time goes on and you relax.
We don’t go anymore, and yes I miss it, but we did have some amazing nights while we were clubbing
Complaining about being judged whilst making broadbrush rash judgements yourself is a bit rich really.